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Original poster

Have you ever been seriously over or underdressed at an occasion? Or learned you were just before getting there?

175 replies

AnnListersBlister · 27/08/2024 23:34

What did you do?

Mine happened a few years ago with a newish friend. He'd just split with his girlfriend and was upset that he had no date for a party he was going to-his Mum and stepfather's anniversary. He asked if I'd come and I said of course-love me a good party.

This friend was a bit of a scruff truth be told. Obviously it didn't bother me as I liked him a lot and I am not concerned about things like that but it is relevant because my mind must've thought 'friend and party=casual'. He lived in jeans and T shirts, his work clothes were a bit too large for him but he didn't care, his house was a bit of a tip, he liked his rocky music and rougher pubs-all in good fun, we got on well.

It was summer and I found myself in a strange town with him before the party where he was last minute buying them a present. I don't know what it was, but something brought a cold wave of reality over me when I realised that this wasn't going to be a casual event at all. I think from something friend said.

We went into a shop where he was choosing a photo frame and I made an excuse about needing some last minute make-up supplies and ran outside. I had about 10 minutes and the only shops I could see were a charity shop and a small, independent shoe shop. I ran into the charity shop and hurriedly rushed around like a madwoman but VERY luckily found myself a lovely black silky midi-dress.
Stuffed it in handbag.

Ran across to shoe shop. Very luckily for me spotted a pair of strappy heels in the sale and snapped them up.
Ran outside to friend looking around for me, apologised and told friend that I'd just realised that the heels I'd brought with me might be a bit too painful to wear all night so I decided to pop into a shop and buy some others.

He bought it.

It was a fab night.

Now I am writing this I am thinking the more wise of MNters are all going to say that I should have said 'Sorry friend, I am just realising that this might be a bit more of a formal affair than I thought, would you mind if I just go off and look at clothes for half an hour?'

But yes, that's not me. --Plus I think if the shoe was on the other foot, I'd have made sure my friend knew what sort of party it was!

OP posts:
Mikunia · 27/08/2024 23:39

I once was invited to a fancy dress party at a fancy venue in central London with a load of media types. I hired a bunny girl costume. The hostess knew I was doing this and so did other people getting. They all talked about their various costumes they were going to wear. I turned up and was the only one dressed up. I had to just style it out! I mean, I did look fabulous.

15PiecesOfFlair · 27/08/2024 23:40

Mikunia · 27/08/2024 23:39

I once was invited to a fancy dress party at a fancy venue in central London with a load of media types. I hired a bunny girl costume. The hostess knew I was doing this and so did other people getting. They all talked about their various costumes they were going to wear. I turned up and was the only one dressed up. I had to just style it out! I mean, I did look fabulous.

Bet they were all smug marrieds!

BetsyBobbin · 27/08/2024 23:41

Mikunia · 27/08/2024 23:39

I once was invited to a fancy dress party at a fancy venue in central London with a load of media types. I hired a bunny girl costume. The hostess knew I was doing this and so did other people getting. They all talked about their various costumes they were going to wear. I turned up and was the only one dressed up. I had to just style it out! I mean, I did look fabulous.

Is that you Bridget?

Original poster
AnnListersBlister · 27/08/2024 23:41

Mikunia · 27/08/2024 23:39

I once was invited to a fancy dress party at a fancy venue in central London with a load of media types. I hired a bunny girl costume. The hostess knew I was doing this and so did other people getting. They all talked about their various costumes they were going to wear. I turned up and was the only one dressed up. I had to just style it out! I mean, I did look fabulous.

I absolutely love this! I bet you did a fab job of styling it out and made a lot of folk's night!

OP posts:
Mikunia · 27/08/2024 23:45

BetsyBobbin · 27/08/2024 23:41

Is that you Bridget?

Show quote history

No but I felt like her! It was exactly like that! Luckily I was young enough to just brazen it out but I had to go home on the train in a bunny girl costume and a long coat over it! 😅

Mikunia · 27/08/2024 23:46

15PiecesOfFlair · 27/08/2024 23:40

Bet they were all smug marrieds!

Show quote history

No we were all single in those days! Fun times!

Mls1984btc · 27/08/2024 23:48

Legally blonde!

Soonenough · 27/08/2024 23:48

I went to a parish gathering for refreshments. I thought it was teas and buns and said to DH that I would be back in an hour . But it turned out to be a fully catered event with hot choices desserts speeches and music . Was very underdressed and couldn't wait to get away.

SailAwaySandra · 27/08/2024 23:48

About 10 years ago, my cousin had a ‘Only Way is Essex’ party. I thought it was for everyone

I turned up glammed to heavens for a laugh. I thought everyone was. Turns out, just the children were doing that (birthday girl was 11 but usually all the cousins and family would take part and be silly!)

I looked a sight stood next to ordinary adults in their jeans and T-shirts

SlipperyLizard · 27/08/2024 23:51

When FIL died, MIL apparently told DH that no one was wearing suits to the funeral. We travel up without a suit (I even said “should we pack your suit just in case?” but MIL was apparently very clear).

Get to MIL’s and she’s horrified that DH doesn’t have a suit to wear. Cue frantic charity shop dash (DH is not an easy shape to buy for) for something vaguely smart.

At uni, we had a Bond themed ball. Dress code was really just black tie, but one guy turned up in a black dress, feather boa and make up! He’d thought it was Bond fancy dress!

Needanewname42 · 27/08/2024 23:52

Oh yes!
DH & I were once invited to an event with dress code "Smart Casual".
We both thought it meant black jeans and nice top. OMG nothing casual about it.

Men were in sports jackets and kilts, women were in cocktail dresses - dolled up to the nines.

I later found out that the "casual" bit of smart casual means not formal - ie not something you'd wear for business meetings. But it's not what you'd be wearing down the local pub either.

We blonked our bums and hoped nobody noticed the scruffs in the corner.

Limth · 27/08/2024 23:53

Every time I've been out recently, I've got it wrong 🤣

I went to a hen night at Roxy Ballroom. I dressed in jeans, jumper and trainers because it's a games night venue full of teenagers. Everyone else was dressed semi-race-day get up.

Then I went for a meal with some friends at a pub. I wore what I thought was a casual jumpsuit but others showed up looking like they'd just done a shift on a building site.

FML

Whale80ne · 27/08/2024 23:53

I went to a nightclub where everyone was quite dressed up ("little black dress" type outfits) in old jeans and an old slobby jumper when I was 19 or 20. I can't think how I got through the door, but my housemate I had only been intending to go to the local for one drink just before closing because I was "stuck" with mental block on a coursework essay, and we ran into friends and somehow decided to go to a club.

I got loads of (positive) attention and drinks offered etc. weirdly, but I was too hot (temperature wise!) 🤣

That was an incredibly long time ago.

KraftServices · 27/08/2024 23:53

Mikunia · 27/08/2024 23:39

I once was invited to a fancy dress party at a fancy venue in central London with a load of media types. I hired a bunny girl costume. The hostess knew I was doing this and so did other people getting. They all talked about their various costumes they were going to wear. I turned up and was the only one dressed up. I had to just style it out! I mean, I did look fabulous.

Is this one of those threads where people are supposed to respond as a fictional character? 🤔

BetsyBobbin · 27/08/2024 23:57

The smug marrieds is also a reference to Bridget Jones 🫠

I once was invited to go out with a friend and her friend. Her friend worked in a record label (something I didn't know at the time). I asked what kind of place it was and she said pub/club type. I went straight from work in checked trousers, black flat boots, a cami type of thing and a red cardigan on top.

When we got there it was this music bash in an exclusive Mayfair club with a guest list and full of this Scandinavian looking models in slinky black dresses. It was, well, an interesting experience, let me tell you 😂

TheCrenchinglyMcQuaffenBrothers · 27/08/2024 23:58

Yeah, wore a gorgeous slinky full length dress, had hair and make up professionally done - Jimmy Choos - and was STILL underdressed for a very swanky Hindu wedding at a fancy London hotel. Food was amazing though so stuffed myself and made the best of it!

Marnieloves · 28/08/2024 00:07

I am forever underdressed. Honestly, it’s how I feel most comfortable!

DreamTheMoors · 28/08/2024 00:08

Years ago, my parents moved into a new home with a pool.
I had been out of town on business, but the family was meeting up at their house.
I put on my new jeans and this cool new tee shirt a popular bar owner had gifted me in the city I had been in.
I was stylin’.
When I got there, everybody was in the back, in their swim suits - nobody told me this was going to be a swim day.
My nieces were little, like 2 & 3 and as I walked past them towards my mum who was in the pool, Mum said “watch out” and I turned to look at the little girls - and again, “watch out,” but the little girls were fine.
And then I walked right into the pool.
I was over-drenched that day.

Mikunia · 28/08/2024 00:10

KraftServices · 27/08/2024 23:53

Is this one of those threads where people are supposed to respond as a fictional character? 🤔

Show quote history

No. It was a truthful reply. It actually did happen and I am not Bridget Jones.

GildedRage · 28/08/2024 00:10

8 years ago almost to the day; my db wedding in spain. my choice of dress was ill-fitting stretchy polyester the minute i saw the guest boarding the bus (we were bused from the hotel where all the guests were staying to the church) i died a little death.
i'm deeply embarrassed by my actions, never in my life (except when at the fabric store) had i seen so much jacquard, lace, taffeta and sumptuous layered skirts. they dressed amazingly all weekend meanwhile i dripped sweat in shorts and t-shirts and looked a frazzled mess 24/7.
i hid from the professional photographer all night and my poor db and his lovely wife are sad they have only a couple photo's of me at the wedding.
never again. since then i have 4 season's of dress/shoes/matching bags IN CASE.

MissEsmeWatson · 28/08/2024 00:12

Mikunia · 27/08/2024 23:39

I once was invited to a fancy dress party at a fancy venue in central London with a load of media types. I hired a bunny girl costume. The hostess knew I was doing this and so did other people getting. They all talked about their various costumes they were going to wear. I turned up and was the only one dressed up. I had to just style it out! I mean, I did look fabulous.

I wonder if Helen Fielding was at the same party and put you in her book!

ViciousCurrentBun · 28/08/2024 00:18

I turned up at a do wearing an oversized batwing jumper, corduroy boots a long cotton skirt that was made so it had deliberate sort of ragged zig zag seams. All my mates were wearing cocktails dresses and very high heels and a lot of make up, it was the 1980’s and it was their end of term party, they were all studying to be beauticians and hairdressers and I was studying nursing. I had long straight dark hair and they all had mahoosive bouffant hair that night,

So I did what has been the mantra of my life, not give a toss and had a good time.

Original poster
AnnListersBlister · 28/08/2024 00:21

I am very glad so many others have had this sort of experience!
We can't always get it right.

I used to work as a bunny girl promotor in nightclubs in my younger years. I often went to work in the comfiest clothes I possessed as I knew I'd spend the whole night/early hours of the morning trussed up like a strung up chicken in tight corsets/mini dresses and stupidly high heels.
One night, we'd all had a very good time, the wine was flowing and the customers were great people and great fun. All decided to go out. In fairness, the only places open at 04:00 were very 'bad' clubs.
Everyone was nagging me to go out and I'd travelled to work in a bloody tracksuit. I was usually quite glamorous but this particular night, no.
I asked my (very glamourous, put together, and rich) boss, if she'd go out if she had only a tracksuit to wear, and she said 'If I really wanted to go out, yeh!'

I did.
Oh god I felt like a total tramp.
No one cared. Smile

OP posts:
ThePure · 28/08/2024 00:36

I was invited by a male friend to his massive Muslim wedding celebration. I did not really have any idea what I was in for. There were so many people, a huge venue and the dress code appeared to be head to toe sequins. Literally everyone was dripping jewellery and gold. Unfortunately for me all he'd told me was to dress modestly with shoulders and knees covered so I was wearing a rather boring shift dress that I could have worn for work. I guess I equated modest with dull. I felt like people were going to think I was with the caterers.

BestZebbie · 28/08/2024 00:54

In the early stages of dating my now-DH he invited me to 'a party some of my friends are having' which turned out to be their 'we aren't going to be getting married so this is our wedding do' party, complete with gifts, relatives, speeches etc etc - I was very inappropriately dressed in a top and jeans suitable for drinking wine in the living room of a houseshare.