Have you ever been seriously over or underdressed at an occasion? Or learned you were just before getting there?

[AnnListersBlister]

What did you do?

Mine happened a few years ago with a newish friend. He'd just split with his girlfriend and was upset that he had no date for a party he was going to-his Mum and stepfather's anniversary. He asked if I'd come and I said of course-love me a good party.

This friend was a bit of a scruff truth be told. Obviously it didn't bother me as I liked him a lot and I am not concerned about things like that but it is relevant because my mind must've thought 'friend and party=casual'. He lived in jeans and T shirts, his work clothes were a bit too large for him but he didn't care, his house was a bit of a tip, he liked his rocky music and rougher pubs-all in good fun, we got on well.

It was summer and I found myself in a strange town with him before the party where he was last minute buying them a present. I don't know what it was, but something brought a cold wave of reality over me when I realised that this wasn't going to be a casual event at all. I think from something friend said.

We went into a shop where he was choosing a photo frame and I made an excuse about needing some last minute make-up supplies and ran outside. I had about 10 minutes and the only shops I could see were a charity shop and a small, independent shoe shop. I ran into the charity shop and hurriedly rushed around like a madwoman but VERY luckily found myself a lovely black silky midi-dress.
Stuffed it in handbag.

Ran across to shoe shop. Very luckily for me spotted a pair of strappy heels in the sale and snapped them up.
Ran outside to friend looking around for me, apologised and told friend that I'd just realised that the heels I'd brought with me might be a bit too painful to wear all night so I decided to pop into a shop and buy some others.

He bought it.

It was a fab night.

Now I am writing this I am thinking the more wise of MNters are all going to say that I should have said 'Sorry friend, I am just realising that this might be a bit more of a formal affair than I thought, would you mind if I just go off and look at clothes for half an hour?'

But yes, that's not me. --Plus I think if the shoe was on the other foot, I'd have made sure my friend knew what sort of party it was!

I find that a surprising number of men don’t know the difference between a dress and a skirt! (Not just recognising them when on, but the literal definition of what makes a skirt not a dress).

I once went to a fancy dress as looby Lou pigtails and all it was in a prince of wales pub however we went to the wrong one lol I styled it out my to be young and full of confidence I'd die of embarrassment now 😂

They really, really don't, @HotCrossBunplease .

Hi Bridget!

I was once invited to a ball about 30mins before it started (at 11pm), in a foreign country I was visiting for a weekend. All I'd packed was a pair of jeans and three tops. I went in jeans and a hoody. Everyone else was black tie. I just styled it out and had a fabulous night!

I actually feel pretty cool underdressed ("look, I'm so cool I don't even have to try!"), but I hate being overdressed, which has also happened on occasion.

I was invited to a charity reception at the House of Commons . I was very keen to attend to pay my respects to the young man in whose memory the charity had been set up.

i was told the dress code was more or less come as you are. So I did in cardie and skirt.

Everyone else was dressed to the max ( in my eyes) Heels, short skirts, very confident.

They all knew each other which didn’t help.

if I had dressed up I still wouldn’t have fitted in.

I think she mistook Fancy (ie. Smart) Dress for Fancy (ie. Character) Dress.

No, she said they all talked about their "costumes" and knew she was wearing it.
People have pointed out the similarity with the scene in Bridget Jones Diary.

My suitcase was once lost on a work trip to a hot country. I had to turn up to the office in my travelling clothes which were leggings and a hoody. Some kind colleagues lent me some clothes the next day but I spent the next week in very mismatched ill fitting clothes.
After I got back I asked for some performance feedback and was told I needed to dress more appropriately. I could of scream- I know!

Went with a boyfriend to a celebration of something or other at his old school. Thought to myself, wow some people have gone a bit over the top haven’t they? Ohhhh … um, (ex)boyfriend, is this by any chance a black tie event? It is? And when I asked about the dress code you didn’t tell me because …?

He thought I’d get stressed trying to find something to wear. Which, to be fair, I would have. But I wouldn’t still be remembering it many years later as a shining example of what an arse he could be.

Are you Bridget Jones?

I was only young at the time (probably around 20-ish), and I'd often attend black tie events/awards ceremonies with my then boyfriend. He told me we had an awards do, starting at 6pm on a Saturday evening. There would be a drinks reception and food. I asked about dress code and he was a bit vague but said just wear something nice. Often these events were very dressy and I'd wear a long evening gown, but as he hadn't expressly said "black tie", I opted for a satin pencil skirt with a camisole top, and strappy high heeled sandals with a clutch bag.

When I walked in, all the other guests were wearing jeans, t-shirts, flat shoes etc! At one point I was chatting with the MD's wife, who was wearing a thin knit jumper, jeans and boots. I wanted the ground to swallow me up. I looked at my boyfriend like "WTF?" and he said that he had brought his suit to wear and realised last minute how casual the event was. Luckily for him (but not me!) he still had an overnight bag in the car with chinos and a polo shirt, so he avoided looking like a tit. I asked why he hadn't called to tell me, he said he had called, but realised that I was already on my way in the taxi when he spoke to me. He decided not to mention the casual dress code because he knew I'd flap about it.

Even 20 years later, whenever I think about it, I feel a bit sick and my blood runs cold! 😩😂

May I be the first person on this thread to say CANCEL THE CHEQUE?

High five, @gano . At least yours tried to warn you.

Nope, definitely not American. All school friends, I think it was an 18th or 21st birthday.

At least at that age I could get away with that outfit, I couldn't these days!

How did he look in his Bond girl frock??

No, but my MIL often tells the story of how she accompanied FIL on a business trip to the US and opened her suitcase at the hotel only to find it was full of baby clothes. So she attended a swanky dinner in her travel clothes, inc denim skirt and comfy shoes. The owner of the baby clothes had her bag and all was resolved the next day with a swap at the airport. I should think it was probably more of an issue for the mum than for my MIL

Friend’s 50th last year. I was the only one that forgot it was fancy dress. 🤦🏻‍♀️

A friend and colleague of my DH died very suddenly. As such I left it to him to find out about funeral etc. Anyway turned up at the funeral in what we considered normal funeral attire: a me in neat black dress, DH in dark suit and black necktie, only to find that the funeral was a themed event. The theme being football. Everyone else was in football related clothing, some were even in full kit!

(Neither of us like football.)

Dh's friend's wedding. Big posh house in tne middle of nowhere. They'd hired a cute vintage bus to get everyone there.

Bough a lovely entirely suitable frock but with longish sleeves. Unexpectedly for time of year the day was roasting. I'd have menopausally melted in that frock. I had to last minute change to basically a summer dress that fitted menopausal tummy and sleeveless. It wasn't a classy look. I hid from the photographer.

Not a party, but when I was 20 I went for a long weekend in Paris with friends. The day in question I was wearing nice but admittedly old clothes (trousers and off the shoulder top), and more importantly I had experienced a mishap with a chocolate ice cream, resulting in a large brown stain down my front.
We were having a little wander on the way back to the hostel and passing through the posh shopping district. A couple approached my friend and asked her for a favour. They wanted her to buy for them a Louis Vitton purse (we were right outside the store) and they'd give her the cash to pay for it. Would have been a hard no from me, but she said yes, so into the store we went, while the couple waited outside. I've never bought anything from a designer store in my life, and it was certainly an experience. I fully expected to get kicked out for my stained appearance at any moment, but it didn't happen. After the purse was successfully purchased we were escorted from the shop though. Looking back I do wonder if that was standard or if they just wanted us out ASAP.
Purse was handed to couple (I can only guess what they got out of the whole performance) and that was that.
Definitely one of the most out pf place moments of my life though.

@ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews pretty good! He was quite a chilled guy so took it all in his stride!

That sort of confidence is attractive.

In the eighties I worked for a company where everyone dressed up on Christmas Eve. One mainly male team decided they were going to dress as fairies, spent weeks discussing their pink tutus etc. On the day, nine turned up as Rambo, leaving one middle aged grumpy fairy he took it surprisingly well

My DD is having this kind of angst in advance. She's off to uni next month where they have 'formal' dinners every week, a 'mega formal' a couple times a term and a ball. She doesn't do the LBD thing. She's been hunting on Vinted. One stunning black velvet off the shoulder body con (but midi length) dress, one vintage gold satin dress, and one ball dress. But she's looking at pics online and wondering if they may be too dressy? She has her own style she will NOT be swapping and borrowing. Sartorial nightmare for a teen!
I once went to an evening wedding in the US. Old friend and I flew out just to attend it. It was at a gallery in Washington DC. I wore a colourful bohemian style patchwork kimono jacket over a camisole and trousers. I thought I looked arty and cool (I was a recent art school graduate). Everyone, even the bridesmaids, were in elegant black evening dress. I thought I must have missed the dress code (I hadn't - there was nothing on the invite)! I didn't know a soul and they did this one course then dance then next course then dance etc, so I sat there on my own most of the evening as my (all couples) dinner mates danced (and it was proper man holding the woman type dancing, not something you could just join in and dance on your own). So poorly dressed and then socially outcast!