Have you ever been seriously over or underdressed at an occasion? Or learned you were just before getting there?

[AnnListersBlister]

What did you do?

Mine happened a few years ago with a newish friend. He'd just split with his girlfriend and was upset that he had no date for a party he was going to-his Mum and stepfather's anniversary. He asked if I'd come and I said of course-love me a good party.

This friend was a bit of a scruff truth be told. Obviously it didn't bother me as I liked him a lot and I am not concerned about things like that but it is relevant because my mind must've thought 'friend and party=casual'. He lived in jeans and T shirts, his work clothes were a bit too large for him but he didn't care, his house was a bit of a tip, he liked his rocky music and rougher pubs-all in good fun, we got on well.

It was summer and I found myself in a strange town with him before the party where he was last minute buying them a present. I don't know what it was, but something brought a cold wave of reality over me when I realised that this wasn't going to be a casual event at all. I think from something friend said.

We went into a shop where he was choosing a photo frame and I made an excuse about needing some last minute make-up supplies and ran outside. I had about 10 minutes and the only shops I could see were a charity shop and a small, independent shoe shop. I ran into the charity shop and hurriedly rushed around like a madwoman but VERY luckily found myself a lovely black silky midi-dress.
Stuffed it in handbag.

Ran across to shoe shop. Very luckily for me spotted a pair of strappy heels in the sale and snapped them up.
Ran outside to friend looking around for me, apologised and told friend that I'd just realised that the heels I'd brought with me might be a bit too painful to wear all night so I decided to pop into a shop and buy some others.

He bought it.

It was a fab night.

Now I am writing this I am thinking the more wise of MNters are all going to say that I should have said 'Sorry friend, I am just realising that this might be a bit more of a formal affair than I thought, would you mind if I just go off and look at clothes for half an hour?'

But yes, that's not me. --Plus I think if the shoe was on the other foot, I'd have made sure my friend knew what sort of party it was!

This is the story of my life! I'm usually underdressed...

Went out in Cardiff on match day, I'd been watching the rugby in a pub and then we were going out for drinks...I wore my rugby shirt, everyone else was dressed up to the 9's. These days it wouldn't bother me but in my early 20's I was mortified and didn't have a good time as a result of feeling uncomfortable.

Went away with friends at Christmas, on the second night we were going out for dinner. Suddenly all these sequins and hairspray started appearing. I had a kind of smart casual jumper dress and flats....was too late to change it.

Went out for cocktails with some work colleagues when I was younger, so I wore a cocktail dress (made sense in my head!) but they were all cool grungers who were dressed in really funky clothes (I'd only ever seen them in workwear!). This one worked out as we had pre-drinks at theirs and I let them give me a makeover. Felt like I was in some sort of 90's American movie.

Went to a VERY posh do with OH before we were married. I totally nailed my outfit, was ridiculously proud of myself; even the shoes which is where I usually let myself down. The party was at someones home, but a very very very nice house. Imagine how surprised I was to discover it was a 'shoes off' affair...which made my novelty penguin socks very inappropriate!

These days I ask lots of questions beforehand, but even then I can't seem to get it right. Did this before a hen do a few years ago, we're mid 30's, it was a sort of crafternoon tea vibe so after asking questions and hearing that most people were wearing 'midi dresses and boots' sort of thing I again went smart casual...wrong! Ended up doing what you did and going shopping for some bling to jazz up my outfit.

It's easier to just stay in...or not care 😅

oh yes I forgot the time we were going out 'for halloween' with work and I was the only one who turned up in full fancy dress!!!

I dressed for the heat at an overseas wedding, a nice skirt from Monsoon but just a T-shirt. Everyone was very dressy and I felt mortified

I've also been overdressed at a house party were I dressed to go "out out" and no one else was. It was at the house of the lad I fancied as well.

I felt thoroughly underdressed at a Halloween party once. I don't enjoy fancy dress and struggle with the idea of spending money on costumes that won't be used again, so I went in a black dress and cheap witches hat. The rest of the costumes were amazing, with loads of creativity and weeks of work!

Ah it's so great when people go all out with the homemade costumes, but not so fun if you weren't feeling the vibe! I'm with you on not spending money on stuff I wouldn't wear more than once. However I found my people in the next job. One pair of work besties made themselves a 3D cracker outfit including 'snap' when they were pulled apart. It was so good!!

A works party in my early twenties, I wore a red velvet dress, full length with a slit and chunky heels (90s). Everyone else was in jeans and tees. Alcohol helped me own it.

Out clubbing as a teenager. Mate & I were surprised but delighted to be waved in for free.

Turned out to be Rocky Horror night, free admission if in fancy dress...

...we were just wearing our usual Friday Night Get Your Goth On...

Years ago lived in London and went back to my university town for a friends birthday lunch followed by drinks.
The lunch was at a Chiquito/Chillis type place and the drinks were at a riverside bar. These had all been newly built since I was at uni but chain restaurant/bar to me sounded like smart casual.
I decided to wear smart skinny jeans, expensive heeled boots, a nice halter neck black top and a smart white jacket.
I traveled on the train at some expense and time and arrived at the restaurant only for the BOUNCER (wtf... its lunchtime in a chain restaurant) refuse me entry due to my jeans.
He refused to allow me in despite my pleas so I had to text my friend that I was popping round the corner to Costa while they had their lunch.
They finally finished and we all tripped off to the bar only for them to have the same fucking dress code! No jeans no exceptions.
My friends group were all in bandage dresses and massive platform heel shoes. I looked like a binman in comparison.
I left to go back home having spent a not inconsiderable amount of money and time on a train to have a substandard salmon bagel in a high street costa in a small south west town.

@AngelsWithSilverWings I live in France, the first time I was invited to a French wedding I was horrified when most of the male guests rocked up wearing football shirts and jeans. The non-French invitees were so smart, we all stood out, fortunately we were a decent sized group.

In fact, the only difference I can tell between weddings and funerals in my village (dress wise) is more people turn out for a funeral.

I was invited to a xmas party at my boss's house, she was the CEO, she had invited the leadership team plus partners, plus me, her PA.

I didn't give it a massive amount of thought (and didn't want to go, at all), and just put on a pair or black trousers and fitted black jumper for work. The late afternoon rolled around and she brightly asked me what I was changing into. To which the answer of course was, nothing. And I definitely wasn't going to rush out and buy something just to stand around in her house eating canapés.

Maybe you should just have given it a miss.

But crappy of her not to invite your partner.

@HotCrossBunplease I was single! Really didn't want to go it was a complete obligation. It was fine once there.

Like an earlier poster I went to a wedding in Spain. I asked my SIL what the dress code was. She said whatever you want, what you would wear to any wedding. So my mum donned a per una summer dress and I wore a Laura Ashley knee length cotton floral number. When we got there every woman was in a full length cocktail gown. We felt like a right pair of dicks. Thanks SIL 😂 (she's lovely, I guess she thought we all wore evening gowns to weddings in the UK)

Not an occasion as such (but I may have made it one!).

When I was in my 20s I was on holiday in Ibiza with my then boyfriend and we decided to go to its famous nudist beach at the time, Salinas.

We were at the opposite end of the beach from the beach bar, which looked from there like a little shack. After a couple of hours we fancied a drink so I walked the ten minutes to the bar stark naked as everyone else was.

I arrived and joined a long queue inside and then realised that not only was no one else naked, but that it was quite a posh place and everyone was wearing fancy clothes.

I had to make a quick decision whether to walk all the way back to get dressed or just stick it out. I chose the latter and began an almost 30 minute real-life naked dream...

Reminds me of this

Who is this in response to?

😂😂😆I can't quite decide if you were under or over 'dressed'.

I love these stories especially the socks!

I too, try to cater for all eventualities nowadays! And/or make sure I ask! But this thread totally illustrates that asking doesn't always have the desired effect!

The confidence of youth @KlaraSundown

That made me simultaneously cringe and laugh - styling it out to perfection 👌

My husband told me his uncles funeral was ' bright colours'. So I wore a multi pink/ purple print dress . All the other women were in black. Turns out it was men wear bright colour ties.

I was mortified

No, I don't think it's really a desire not to conform exactly . I think it stems from teenage insecurities and the frequent occasions then that I would try to Do Fashion Right and never managed to get it right! The trendy girls just laughed at me and I always felt awkward. Now I know and embrace what suits me and makes me happy and that is a pair of jeans!

I've never been that interested in clothes tbh, to my Mum's disappointment!

Yet another instance of 'Don't listen to men when it comes to dress codes'!

I live in a Guardian reading part of north London full of competitive under-dressers. One time I went to an 80s themed party as one of the women in the Robert Palmer Addicted to Love video. Everyone else was dressed as if they'd just finished at the allotment.

I used to work in the film industry and often went to premieres which usually have the most random array of dress styles. Yes a lot of the celebs, PRs and wannabes look dressed for the Oscars but there's usually at least 50 blokes from the back office in curry stained band t-shirts and ripped jeans.