Have you ever been seriously over or underdressed at an occasion? Or learned you were just before getting there?

[AnnListersBlister]

What did you do?

Mine happened a few years ago with a newish friend. He'd just split with his girlfriend and was upset that he had no date for a party he was going to-his Mum and stepfather's anniversary. He asked if I'd come and I said of course-love me a good party.

This friend was a bit of a scruff truth be told. Obviously it didn't bother me as I liked him a lot and I am not concerned about things like that but it is relevant because my mind must've thought 'friend and party=casual'. He lived in jeans and T shirts, his work clothes were a bit too large for him but he didn't care, his house was a bit of a tip, he liked his rocky music and rougher pubs-all in good fun, we got on well.

It was summer and I found myself in a strange town with him before the party where he was last minute buying them a present. I don't know what it was, but something brought a cold wave of reality over me when I realised that this wasn't going to be a casual event at all. I think from something friend said.

We went into a shop where he was choosing a photo frame and I made an excuse about needing some last minute make-up supplies and ran outside. I had about 10 minutes and the only shops I could see were a charity shop and a small, independent shoe shop. I ran into the charity shop and hurriedly rushed around like a madwoman but VERY luckily found myself a lovely black silky midi-dress.
Stuffed it in handbag.

Ran across to shoe shop. Very luckily for me spotted a pair of strappy heels in the sale and snapped them up.
Ran outside to friend looking around for me, apologised and told friend that I'd just realised that the heels I'd brought with me might be a bit too painful to wear all night so I decided to pop into a shop and buy some others.

He bought it.

It was a fab night.

Now I am writing this I am thinking the more wise of MNters are all going to say that I should have said 'Sorry friend, I am just realising that this might be a bit more of a formal affair than I thought, would you mind if I just go off and look at clothes for half an hour?'

But yes, that's not me. --Plus I think if the shoe was on the other foot, I'd have made sure my friend knew what sort of party it was!

About age 14, on a French exchange. The mother told me we were going to a mess, so I dressed in jeans.

Turned out to be mass, a cousin's christening.

(Later that day, my period started unexpectedly, and I bled through the jeans, so it was all wonderful...)

My friend is over dressed for all occasions but that’s her style abs she loves it

Someone once told me she had a date with a guy and he had told her he was taking her out somewhere really nice for dinner. He was going to pick her up in his flash car. She got her LBD, heels, full makeup and hair. Was all excited for a fancy date. She was horrified when he pulled up outside Nandos.

Not me but I was at a black tie event and a group turned up in their 'best' which consisted of tracksuits in pastel colours with matching trainers.

I felt so sorry for them, but being British everyone ignored the clothing and acted as though they were appropriately dressed.

Yes, about nine years ago I happened to be underdressed at a posh place.
I didn't care about this stuff and definitely don't now.

Both times overdressed - I now get a bit worried about dress codes!

First was at uni - my uni was later back than ones school friends had gone to. Id seen photos of them at their freshers balls decked out. I did pause for thought when I saw ours was held in a night club but I wore a long royal blue satin dress. I did think it weird when I didn't see others all dressed up. Got to the club and it was clear it was usual going out attire. I had a little cry in the toilets. It was my first time away from home, I was from a small town and just didn't have a clue about so much. I feel sad for 18 year old me. I think I dealt with it by getting very drunk.

Years later my housemate was a member of a young professional society. She invited me and our other two housemates to a dinner thing, black tie. Me and the housemates had tickets for a rock night at a local venue for the same night. She insisted we still go in all our gear. We did get some weird looks moshing around in big fancy dresses but that time I felt like I was the coolest person!

Yes someone once took me on a date which i'd dressed casually for. Jeans, ok but plain top, boots etc. Turned out he was surprising me with a very fancy restaurant in a swanky hotel which was that current time's place to be 'seen' (before the days of insta!) Everyone else was in suits and sky high heels, slinky dresses, very glam hair and make up WAG style. I felt like a tit but our money was as good as the fancy people's so looking back I don't know why I was so bothered!

Then a different date was to a new year's gala/ball type event. Dress code said black tie so I duly bought a suitable dress and heels. Arrived to find most of the men wearing suits, but loads of women wearing very casual maxi dresses, lots of gypsy boho style tiered summer skirts, one young woman had on a denim skirt with crocs! So I was dressed correctly but looked massively overdressed compared to everyone else. That was such a weird night.

What?! I thought you were just copying it from film! Sounds like everyone else did, too!

You were lucky OP that the only shops had the right dress and shoes. I'd want to wash that dress first before wearing, though, but maybe that's me.

🙄

I think a lot of the Bridget Jones humour was about being incorrectly dressed, wasn't it? The bunny outfit scene was very funny, though.

Wouldn't you say: "where are we going?"

i wore a summer dress to dh work Christmas do
i never forget one of the wives giving me a filthy look, up until then, i hadnt realised i was Wrong

Why was it wrong?

My very posh granny always used to say better to be overdressed than undressed. I’m not sure that’s really true if taken to extremes, but generally I’ve always felt better when I’ve made a bit of an effort so I tend to err on the side of overdressed.

not a black dress?
summer dress?
i have no idea but it was memorable

As long as you looked nice?

Invited to a BBQ with my boyfriend's friends some way away from where we lived. They were all girls. House in middle of nowhere.
All food was cooked outside and then en masse the girls all went inside and changed into nice dresses and we sat at a formal table to eat the food.

I was in sensible clothes but certainly not up to posh dinner party clothing.

I have never been to a BBQ since where food was served indoors. Even if it rains it's been eaten outside under a gazebo.

Always the underdressed one I'm afraid. When I was a teenager (1970's) I was invited to a friend's birthday party at her house, we were about 16/17. I asked what she woukd be wearing - "just jeans and a t-shirt". I turned up in a pair of white jeans and a light blue Ben Sherman shirt thinking I looked cool to discover all the other girls plastered in make up and wearing maxi dresses.

yes she was mean

I misinterpreted fancy dress for fancy dress.

I was Lara Croft in shorts, net vest with thigh holsters and a long plait. Everyone else was dressed fancy!
My boyfriend at the time was James Bond in black tie so blended in much better.

I had mentioned it to the birthday girl, but still got wires crossed. Styled it out!

I had 2 weddings one weekend after another once. Totally different groups and we had to fly between then, so i brought 1 dress for both. I was totally overdressed at wedding number one, and totally underdressed at wedding 2. It's so easy to get wrong!

Dressing up has got weird since covid. Daytime things have got really casual and even quite formal workplaces don't usually require suit and tie.

Evening has gone the other way and "smart casual" definitely doesn't mean casual, especially not for women. However, you will see cocktail dresses with sparkly trainers or flip flops! I've learned to go up not down for these things.

You're right, @Longfrock - the whole athleisure thing took over, but some people really dress up again now.

I remember Christmas do at work. My boss had obviously been tasked with finding out what his wife should wear, so he asked the most stylish man in the office (there weren't any other women and I'm obviously not the person to ask!). Man told him chinos and blazer. It was 1990s and that what he all men was wearing. Poor woman turned up to a room full of women in sequins wearing chinos and a blazer.