Would you find this rude/be hurt by this? (Halloween party)

[itsahalloweenone]

A halloween party with over 20 people invited.

Couple are hosting it but they didn't invite the man's parents who live less than an hour drive away but invited his brothers and cousins as well as friends.

The reason given is that the couple want to be with people their own age (between 25 and 28 years old). Their parents are relatively young (both just turned 50 years old) and tend to mingle with their son's friends fine.

Would you find this rude? Why or why not? How would you address it on both sides?

Thank you

No. I wouldn't find it rude to not invite the parents.

It's not a family get together. It's a party and they don't want their mams and dads there! That's not unreasonable.

It would be ridiculous for the parents to show up uninvited. Absolutely ridiculous.

We don't care what you want, we will force our way in and that's the end of it.

Breathtakingly rude and I hope they would be shown the door.

WTF no! It's not just the wife that is having people over. They are a couple having some of their 20-something mates over. No need to come in and Mary Berry the whole place up.

No, it's not rude. It's fine to have a party with people your age and not invite your parents.

Bit early for a Halloween invite though!

I think this is you op in this scenario and you remind me of my in-laws who get upset when cousins want to meet up with cousins with their wives/husbands without the the parents, aunts and uncles as they just want to simply chill and have conversations, laughs and mingle with people on the same wavelength by simply being close to age. My in-laws still refuse to understand this and respect this.

I hate it when my husband's parents want to be at everything. It changes the vibe, they're in different social categories. Neither one better than the other, just different.

Same with my own Mum. I invite them to plenty of things, definitely birthdays etc but not everything and Halloween is pretty neutral ground occasion wise.

Yes! They aren’t invited, whether they want to “help” with hosting or not.
It is fine for children to have a party with their own friends. These parents sound very entitled!

It might be good from your perspective, but the reality is the hosts DO NOT WANT them there. That is okay. Accept those boundaries.

Don't show up, for the love of god. Let your kids have their halloween party to themselves!

I'm assuming OP is the miffed mother in this scenario. No you can't crash the party.

No please don't do this. If the wife needed help she would have asked. She can ask one of the invited guests to help.
It doesn't matter how good your relationship is. Your children are allowed to socialise without you.
Please don't gate crash their party in the guise of offering to help.

It is not rude to be excluded from this party. You are close to them, you socialise with them, but for this one thing they have chosen not to invite you so please respect that and don't throw a tantrum (however passive aggressive it might be), and please don't accidentally show up.

If it was that much fun ask yourself why you're not invited.

So opening a load of packets of crisps and sausage rolls isn’t going to take much effort.

I think this has to be a reverse (to save people asking its where someone pretends to be the other side of the argument), and reverses are dull.

There are swingers!
All dressed up as zombies and cats, wife swapping with gay abandon.
As you say they don’t drink, they will all be snorting coke off the side boards instead.
Do you still want to go OP?

Why is this difficult for you to grasp? Adults don't often want to socialise with their parents and friends simultaneously. Don't think any more about the Halloween party.

No, no, no - leave them too it. It’s very weird if one parent turns up and a bit tragic, as well as highly embarrassing.

Bloody Hell. Don’t do that!

Maybe one of the couple are sick of the ILs
having to be invited to all their functions?
Also the husband can 'help' the wife with the food, you don't need a uterus to enter a kitchen.

What a bizarre post

Who on earth would invite their parents to party in their 20's

No one sane

This is so frustrating to read! It sounds exactly like one of my parents. Being on your own does not entitle you to attend every one of your children’s social events. They invited you last year, they’re having a different kind of party this year that you aren’t invited to. They are entitled to do this, no matter how well you get on or how many sandwiches you bring!!!!

You are NOT invited so do NOT even attempt to go.

Jesus wept woman!
How many times do you need to be told DO NOT TURN UP TO A PARTY YOU ARE NOT INVITED TO!!!

Why would the parents want or expect to go to a party with their dc's friends, I certainly wouldnt

OP is either the DIL proving a point about past event or is having us on.

Who organises a Halloween party in August!?

“There was a different kind of party the year prior where parents were invited and it was fun”

You said it yourself it was a different kind of party. Presumably parents were invited to that one but parents aren’t invited to this one. The son and wife are having a party with people their own age, parents not invited so no it’s not ok for parents to just show up uninvited, if the wife wanted the help I’m sure she’d ask…. But she hasn’t.
Im really hoping this is the son or wife doing a reverse otherwise if it’s a parent your coming across so cringy and desperate!

FFS - let them live their own lives, dont fucking interfere

My line of thinking is THEY DONT WANT YOU THERE.

When I was 25 and got together with my friends we talked about sex and drugs and getting drunk and one night stands and work and took the piss out of other friends. When I was 25 and spoke to my friend’s parents I turned in to someone else and asked about their caravan holiday and their upcoming knee operation and if they still see Zoe’s Mum from school. It’s a party for FRIENDS! No one fucking cares that you can help wash up or you want to bring a rotisserie chicken.

Back off.