Would you find this rude/be hurt by this? (Halloween party)

[itsahalloweenone]

A halloween party with over 20 people invited.

Couple are hosting it but they didn't invite the man's parents who live less than an hour drive away but invited his brothers and cousins as well as friends.

The reason given is that the couple want to be with people their own age (between 25 and 28 years old). Their parents are relatively young (both just turned 50 years old) and tend to mingle with their son's friends fine.

Would you find this rude? Why or why not? How would you address it on both sides?

Thank you

Are you really asking that? Young people parties are basically for getting off your head so you can hook up with someone. Not making polite conversation with your mate’s mum.

We have thrown multiple large parties where I have invited my sibling / husbands sibling and cousins but never any parents.

Similarly my parents have gatherings / dinner parties and wouldn’t invite me and my sibling which is totally fine!

so the one parent would be left alone at home otherwise.

And that would be a problem because?

Oh christ this isn't real is it! So you elder son pulls up to pick up his brother for a party and you jump in the car ... uninvited ... because you don't want an evening on your own.

@itsahalloweenone it totally changes the vibe, even if you have a great relationship and think it won't change the atmosphere it absolutely will. People will feel awkward and obliged to behave themselves around the parents when they just want to have fun.

Are you one of the parents OP?

Why is one of the parents unable to be at home by themself of an evening?

It would be extremely rude and embarrassed to go along and stop in uninvited, even just to do the pick up.

Just be pleased he's included his brother.

My line of thinking is it's going to be a lot of organising and the parent can help the wife set up the food, maybe make some sandwiches, etc... to take some load off of her

No, I find it a bit tragic that the parents want to go to a twenty-something's Halloween party. Don't they have any friends their own age to hang out with? It'd be like if my 16yo and her pals went out and I tagged along with them trying to be the "cool mum". Just because I feel young, doesn't mean I'm not an ancient crypt keeper in the eyes of a teenager, and I won't expect to be invited to my daughter's parties when she's in her 20's either!

I need to know what the significance of this being a Hallowe'en party is. OP, if you're so desperate to be there, just wrap yourself in toilet paper and say you're Jeremy's friend Katya who's come dressed as a mummy. Rather than his Mummy.

Really hoping this isn’t a reverse as it’s getting better and better

My line of thinking is it's going to be a lot of organising and the parent can help the wife set up the food, maybe make some sandwiches, etc... to take some load off of her

It's not a kids tea party! This is a group of 20 year olds, they're not going to have nice little plates of sandwiches you fruitcake.

If you turn up uninvited it's very likely that they'll be far more secretive in future about any social events.

I wouldn't think it's rude. They've invited the people they want to be there. And I think it would be weird if uninvited guests turn up, even if the relationship is a good one.

but like I said, the relationship between the son, the sons' wife and their friends and the parents are good. There's no awkwardness. They often come to the parents' house. Youngest son still lives at home and often brings his friends over too.
There was a different kind of party the year prior where parents were invited and it was fun

It's not rude

I'm.thinking you are teasing us.

They might want to get absolutely trollied, get the weed out, and snog lots of people. Bit tricky if mum is in the corner talking about the weather/geraniums/ Labour party.

And I'm mid 50s so don't take offence ... I know we're not all like that 😀

"Help the wife set up the food" The 1950's are calling
You are deffo the parent! Let them have their own party

"Help the wife" what?!!
I don't think the OP is for real.

But they don't want you there? They don't want the help.
Why are you so insistent you should go? It's a bit odd really.

None of them drink, so there will be food

Bollocks

That doesn't mean the parents have to be invited to or included in everything the son does! I get on well with my mam, I still wouldn't invite her out on a night out with me and my pals.

Cut the umbilical cord already.

I'm just here for the deletion message now.

🤣

How is that not going out of your way to turn up? You stay in your house, or you go on a night out yourself. Going to their party, uninvited, is the definition of going out of your way.