Would you find this rude/be hurt by this? (Halloween party)

[itsahalloweenone]

A halloween party with over 20 people invited.

Couple are hosting it but they didn't invite the man's parents who live less than an hour drive away but invited his brothers and cousins as well as friends.

The reason given is that the couple want to be with people their own age (between 25 and 28 years old). Their parents are relatively young (both just turned 50 years old) and tend to mingle with their son's friends fine.

Would you find this rude? Why or why not? How would you address it on both sides?

Thank you

No the thing is that you aren't invited

It's rude to show up to a party where you have not been invited.

It is even more rude to do so deliberately, because you think your right to attend trumps your son's right to be able to live his own life and socialise with his friends

Find a life of your own. It's extremely unhealthy to expect your son to plan his social life around you.

Not rude, and really pathetic of older adults to be upset by this.

Don’t be those awful parents who always try to socialise with their kids and their friends, thinking they’re not like all the other parents; they’re cool parents!

There’s no way I’d want my parents at a party of my friends.

YES! It would be a HUGE deal.

For god's sake, OP, don't show up. You aren't invited. You have no business thinking you should be invited. It's a party for their peers.

Wait, typing this out made me realise this has to be a reverse, right? No one is that batshit.

You may have missed out on partying yourself in your 20’s because you had children so young, so perhaps you just haven’t seen/experienced what’s the norm.

But there would have been a reason you weren’t invited - why would you want to be somewhere you’re not welcome, and probably ruining it for others?

They aren't the party animal kind. None of them drink or do drugs

Probably because their parents keep gate crashing their social events 😂

I don’t think I’ve ever felt more wound up by a thread. Mum, is that you?? 😂😂😂

Please don't turn up! CRINGE!

Why is the fact that you want to go more important than the fact your son doesn't want you there?

I'm 50 and I wouldn't expect to be invited to a party which my son was hosting.
It's not rude to do your own thing.

I didn't mean it as in show up unannounced. DS1 will be picking up DS2, I'd obviously inform them as I don't have a car of my own and will have to jump in with them.

They don't want their parents there. It's not going to be that kind of party. Maybe they'll be getting pretty wild and want to do that amongst their peers. Not their mum and dad.
Offering to make food and help out just makes them sound desperate. If the relationship is so good why not just let them have their party.
Who wants to attend a party they haven't been invited to?

No, it’s my ex’s mum, I’m sure 🤣

Please don't turn up to a party that you haven't been invited to.

If your help was needed, I'm sure they would have asked. Maybe they think it's time to have a party that doesn't have parental input. What with being grown adults who are married and live in their own home...

You sound like my mum. She takes offence at not being invited to something without considering why she thinks she should be invited. Not all parties/moments of life are for everyone to join in with.

I wouldn't invite my parents to a "friends" party but would my brother, it's different

You're not going to be keeping your son's wife company and helping her make sandwiches at a Halloween party for him and his friends!

A different party like a BBQ or a christening or anniversary IF you were invited

But this is a Halloween party for 20 somethings you'll definitely ruin the vibe!

It's just a party, not a wedding. How much could the wife possibly have to do to require an uninvited guest to come and help? She can ask other people at the party who are her age to give her a hand if need be.

It doesn't matter whether it's a drinks or drugs party or a very sedate dinner party. It's THEIR party!

Why would the parents want to go to a party with people in their 20s?? I'm in my 50s and wouldn't be interested at all.

Surely this thread can't be real?

But, if it is, no, it's not rude, and, no, I wouldn't be hurt by it. I'd find it totally normal and hope they had a great time.

I'm interested in the other person who routinely spends Halloween with their elderly parent. Why? Are they a witch? Is it a day with special significance?

Don't believe everything your kids tell you. They may well just not want you to know they do drugs or drink or smoke (and even more reason they don't want you there!)

If this is is real I'd recommend 'Toxic in laws' by Susan Forward because you either have one or are one...

I have two daughters in their mid-twenties and despite suffering from chronic FOMO, I wouldn't be at all offended if they didn't invite me to their Halloween Party. They would want to let their hair down, not be worrying about us olduns!

Inviting yourself to a party when your DS has made it very clear that only his own generation is invited is one way to ruin your relationship, and it would be extremely overbearing and clingy and awkward. You seem keen to prioritise yourself over that of your DS and it’s a very selfish attitude to have. Let him have his party and you organise your own thing instead.

I know you can't be 7 years old but seriously you sound like a spoilt child.
Why on earth would you want to go to a party that you know you're not invited to and you know the reason you're not invited.
I thought I had a batshit ex-MIL but you're next level!!