Would you find this rude/be hurt by this? (Halloween party)

[itsahalloweenone]

A halloween party with over 20 people invited.

Couple are hosting it but they didn't invite the man's parents who live less than an hour drive away but invited his brothers and cousins as well as friends.

The reason given is that the couple want to be with people their own age (between 25 and 28 years old). Their parents are relatively young (both just turned 50 years old) and tend to mingle with their son's friends fine.

Would you find this rude? Why or why not? How would you address it on both sides?

Thank you

Have you already made a fuss about this party with them Op? Why did you need to reassure them you weren't going and there was no bad blood?

Planesmistakenforstars · Today 20:07
Do you think I should also call them and let them know I won't be going, since I also wasn't invited?
🤣🤣
I think we all best do that, just in case they make too many sandwiches.

No. I do not invite my parents to all my holiday parties and they don’t invite me to all of theirs.

But OP, you’re not really going to start pretending that Halloween is some special, meaningful family holiday for you (but not your adult children or husband, clearly) in order to justify your behavior, are you? You know that’s an irrelevant line of discussion.

Not true. Halloween is my Christmas. My absolutely favorite holiday. I feel very sorry for your son and dil. I expect after this nonsense you will be invited to less and less.

I think many here genuinely don't understand why you want to go to this party so bad and why it is such an issue for you. Maybe if you explained that people would be more sympathetic.

From what I can understand from your posts your adult children are having a party and have invited their friends/people of a similar age. Why on earth would you want to attend?

OP 38 pages in I can see you're still adamant that they should have invited you.

Good luck with your family. You're going to need it.

Because there was never a problem with me attending parties, I don't understand the sudden change of dynamics.

This isn't an ongoing conversation/argument with my family. I have barely spoken about the party to them face to face. I am just venting and trying to understand on an online anonymous forum. I am not hurting them.

Nope parents are on another social level to siblings. Not rude

Seeing that you think a bunch of 20s do not smoke or drink or do drugs, maybe they think is time they organised something without you being around?

I am pretty sure they don't. They are religious.

Does it matter? Maybe they were being considerate and polite. They are young people who want to do whatever it is 20 somethings get up without a mum knocking about with cheese and ham sandwiches.

So you're trying to say that Halloween is a big event for you?

You're on the wind up aren't you? Either that or you're a massive Christian who celebrates allhallowtide and wouldnt be going to a party or you're a Wiccan but then you'd be celebrating Samhain Eve, not going to a Halloween party.

Halloween is for kids to dress up and trick or treat or younger adults to dress up, get drunk and play party games.

What religion?

OP you remind me of my mum so please try and reevaluate your boundaries and expectations with your kids, based on some of the responses you got from this thread.

I have no doubt you're a good mum but is time to let go. Let them come to you. And trust me they will.

This. Some background would be helpful.

You seem.to understand in some posts you have not been invited but still keep making reasons why you should just turn up, frankly it's weird. You are not invited, just accept this surely

Yes we might think it was worse if they wanted to have Christmas dinner, on Christmas Day, with their friends and not see you… BUT THATS NOT THE CASE! It’s a random little Halloween party on a Saturday night (or whatever night!) in October, it’s not Christmas! What a stupid comparison.

The fact that you are saying this shows that you still absolutely do not understand what we are all saying. You still believe you should be invited. You are unbelievable OP! You can make your posts of “okay I won’t go, I’ve told them I’m not going” but you clearly still don’t get it. I’m sorry to say but I’m so glad you’re not my MIL, I’d find you exhausting.

I won't turn up

Do you really expect to be invited to every party that your DC ever have?

And celebrating Halloween?

Really?

Hard core catholics celebrating Halloween?

You’ve already said you don’t like your own MIL. Do you see her on Christmas Day?
If not, I think I’ll go ballistic!
And if you do see her, do you enjoy spending Christmas Day with her?

and dil parents don't live in the UK

wonder how long it will take dil to persuade her dh to move out of the UK...

I know seriously religious people who don't celebrate Hallowe'en. Odd that that should be a factor. Is there a cultural difference going on here OP? Are you from a culture where heavy parental involvement is the norm?