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I just burst into tears in Tesco.

291 replies

Itsnotallsparkles · 18/08/2024 18:52

NC as bit embarrassed. Just writing in solidarity to those struggling with stuff lately. I’m 30, recently dumped by my partner of 10 years and have been left in our flat covering all of the bills. £1200 rent instead of £600 each, you can imagine it’s tough. Stupidly the flat is in my name not his as I used to rent it before we met for £800, it’s gone up a lot in that time. He’s disappeared, blocked me and supposedly with someone else now.

Anyway, stood in the queue in Tesco. Had done a food shop of £40 delivered a few days ago but things only had a date of 1-2 days on them so needed a top up. isn’t it ridiculous how nothing has long lasting dates on it anymore? It’s a rip off.

Stood to pay and card gets declined, I’m not sure why as money is in there. I stand embarrassed with a queue forming as I check my app. No signal, stand to the side trying to join WiFi to check my online baking. Horrible man comes up next to me and says “thanks for holding up the queue’ well that was it, and I stupidly burst into tears. Left the shop.

Turns out my car insurance has taken a yearly amount from my bank rather than the monthly instalments I chose leaving me with nothing. I was sort of holding it together the past few weeks until that moment. Had a little cry/scream in my car😂

but anyway, I just wanted to write on here as I see a lot about darling husbands, massive houses, big holidays and weddings and I just wanted to reach out to those who are struggling whether that be with money, a relationship breakdown, illness, or a hard week. Mumsnet should be a place to support each other in solidarity sometimes. I see too much on here of people ripping each other apart.

OP posts:
katepilar · 18/08/2024 20:43

Hope it provided you with some relief. I cried at the toilets while at lido because of another stupid mans remarks. Its ok to cry when stuff gets over the top.

oakleaffy · 18/08/2024 20:44

Itsnotallsparkles · 18/08/2024 20:37

Thank you all for your messages of solidarity and just the lovely messages. At home now with a chick flick and a cup of tea. This will pass, as a poster said it always does.

To those who shared their own hard times, my heart is with you. Life can fucking suck sometimes but it can also have its magic moments as well.

My Ex husband ran off with an older woman - and got married to her the minute our divorce came through.

She was really awful to our son-

Anyway... their marriage broke up 2 yrs later and he rang me in tears.

Oh the bizarre irony.

We get on ok now, but it was very hard for probably about 10 yrs.

He's on his 3rd marriage now.

LilyJessie · 18/08/2024 20:44

This too shall pass ❤️
I'm sorry things feel so awful
Bad things seem to all happen at once
xx

dbeuowlxb173939 · 18/08/2024 20:46

So sorry OP. Hope you can sort it with the bank tomorrow.
Always people being impatient and mean these days , they need to start thinking how their actions could affect someone else's day Flowers

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 18/08/2024 20:46

💐

Marveladdict · 18/08/2024 20:46

I have been struggling with finance and food shops recently - I have switched to shopping at Lidl which I have found has massively helped with my finances - don’t know if you have one near you? Or an Aldi?- have found I can get twice as much goods for half the cost of a Tesco shop

in regards to the ex - hopefully he dies in a freak yachting accident (blackadder reference)

Allthehorsesintheworld · 18/08/2024 20:48

Horrible when you’re in the middle of it but I promise this will pass.

And life could be worse —- you could be married to the Tesco areshole. 😳

Crikeyalmighty · 18/08/2024 20:48

I'm sorry lovely- I've been there - was once on holiday in Spain and British Gas took £800 on direct debit instead of £80 - wiped us out and took 4 days to put back in- this was years ago before I had an emergency credit card too - had to borrow off the couple we were with . I would recall your direct debit too

DustyLee123 · 18/08/2024 20:51

Face book Messenger them about the short dates. I send a picture to prove it, and they always refund.

User135644 · 18/08/2024 20:52

I know what you mean.

It seems like everyone on MN is a 6 figure earning, high flyer, but there are posters on here who are struggling.

CanelliniBeans · 18/08/2024 20:52

You sound as if you're having a really tough time. Don't be ashamed to cry. I would have too. That man was a tw*t , if I'd been there I would have thought badly of him and only had sympathy for you.
I am sure things will get better for you soon. Keep going. Flowers

Choochoo21 · 18/08/2024 20:56

Horrible man comes up next to me and says “thanks for holding up the queue’

What an awful man he is!

I’m so sorry you had to go through this.
Its not shame to struggle with money, the majority of the country is in the same position as you.

Don’t let SM and MN fool you into thinking everyone is well off because they aren’t.

Things can only get better ❤️‍🩹

otravezempezamos · 18/08/2024 20:56

What a prick that man is.

Don’t be ashamed. I cried once in Asda buying a duvet. My dog had puked all over mine, my gran was on EOL care (I was buying the duvet while waiting for the asda pharmacy to prepare the injectable morphine and that was the second time that day I’d been down), family was sniping at me and somebody had told me to piss off in the car park.

StMarieforme · 18/08/2024 20:56

Can you take in a lodger? You're allowed to charge £7500 per annum letting a room without it affecting your tax. Check on spare room.co.uk to see what the going rate is. Will help massively if you have a second bedroom!
You can do this.

Nannyfannybanny · 18/08/2024 20:57

Sending you love and sympathy. A few weeks ago, also Tesco. I'm at the self service. Woman booms across the store " you didn't pay for your shopping last night". I'm confused, she said my payment didn't go through, I hadn't noticed. I went over to her said I'll pay now, she said she didn't know how to process it, called over the manager. He asked what I had purchased,how much. I wasn't sure, not a lot some treats. I'm holding back the tears, feeling like a criminal. He said don't worry about it. Before I retired, I went to a petrol station on the way home from work. I had a drive of just over 50 miles. Very tired,that journey to work 12.5 night shift (nursing) didn't fill up car, got to the cashier,no debit card! She treated me as though I had murdered a baby. Said I had committed fraud and theft. I hadn't left the premises. She gave me all these forms to sign. Big queue behind me. Said I had to go back in and pay. Explained I lived 50 miles away, could I ring up and pay with my debit card over the phone. Nope, I had to go in in person. I couldn't find my card. Had to drive back with cash. Different lovely man said I could have paid over the phone!! Going back many years now. Ex H had lost his contracts and business,insured me for a large amount, tried to kill me. (2 kids at home, youngest 5) He had been pretending to go to work. He's arrested, following day I call my boss, said I had no childcare. He came to see me, told me I couldn't return to work. They didn't want me in their fine upstanding family firm when this got in the papers. Ex H cleaned out the bank account,left me with nothing. Twenty years married!

Ap42 · 18/08/2024 20:57

I had a breakdown like this in the middle of my street driving my car during lockdown. A big arsed vehicle saw me coming down my road, with it being my right of way i continued. He also continued. We were at a complete standstill. So I got out of the car, locked it up and left it there! People can be such arseholes.
Your bank can recall your direct debit. You can also WhatsApp tesco with your order number, unless short dates were specified on your receipt they will refund them

Lifeomars · 18/08/2024 20:57

Itsnotallsparkles · 18/08/2024 20:37

Thank you all for your messages of solidarity and just the lovely messages. At home now with a chick flick and a cup of tea. This will pass, as a poster said it always does.

To those who shared their own hard times, my heart is with you. Life can fucking suck sometimes but it can also have its magic moments as well.

So good to read this and hope you are feeling a bit better now and comforted by those of us on here who have sobbed in the supermarket or other public places. It will pass. Your original post made me remember something that happened to me many years ago. As a newly single mum after husband had pissed off I got home with my little one to find that my purse had gone (dropped or stolen never knew) . I was having a little weep as I let myself into my flat and my student neighbours saw me crying and invited me in for a cup of tea. That was lovely and would have been enough to restore my faith in human nature. However their kindness did not end there . A few hours after i had gone home a couple of them knocked on my door and handed me an envelope of cash as a gift to help me out. For every nasty mean spirited person, there are good kind people to balance things out

EveryKneeShallBow · 18/08/2024 20:59

Sending you hugs, OP, and I wanted to say I’ve worked on a till, and cards being declined was such a common occurrence it barely registered with me, I was totally not judging, nor unsympathetic. And more than once I have seen someone pay for a stranger’s shopping whose every payment type was declined. There are more nice people out there than pricks, and I’m very sorry you met the latter.

lolit · 18/08/2024 21:01

Aww op, trust me you're not alone. Ever since my latest depressive episode started I have cried in public at least 5 times 😂

Also just because mumsnetters talk about their high paying jobs etc. does not mean their lives are perfect! I have had times where my life looked amazing because I was on nice holidays fully paid for by my bf, but actually I was chronically depressed and it was like putting a bandaid on a bullet wound. Online comments do not paint a full picture, don't let it get to you ♥

FridgeJenga · 18/08/2024 21:03

@Itsnotallsparkles It will get better now that you're rid of him.
Ignore the knob in the queue, he's just an ignorant nobody.
Take time and plan your future.
Hope you're feeling a bit better now 💐

Iamnotalemming · 18/08/2024 21:03

I once had a truly terrible week at work, limped through to Friday and went to Tesco on my way home to get something for dinner and a bottle of wine. On the way out the shop the bag split, the bottle broke and I ended up with wine all over me. I was mortified and kept apologising. A man from the shop came over to clean it up and then get me a replacement bottle free of charge. He was so kind I burst into tears. Somehow it is always someone being nice to me when I am holding it together that pushes me over the edge!

Big hugs to you OP and I also wish pine cone poos on your ex.

SummerSplashing · 18/08/2024 21:06

Homemadearmy · 18/08/2024 19:14

Weve all been there op. Big hugs. On a practical note it's worth phoning tesco about the short dates and they will refund

@Homemadearmy

the issue is the products have a short fate when manufactured , but you're advised on the website what that is, so they haven't sent 'a short dated item' as such (shorter than advertised) the item says use by/ best before 5 days. If it has the days before it is past those it's not 'a short dated item' it's just the product.

Hope that makes sense.

@Itsnotallsparkles

a good cry is good for you!

the guy in the shop was a wanker, but don't waste anymore time on him!

as for your relationship ending, it's hard!! 10 years is a LONG time when you're young, but you WILL be ok.

My advice would be to focus on moving forward! I wasted too much time grieving for the loss of the relationship. Don't do that!!

can you get a housemate?

lolit · 18/08/2024 21:06

Iamnotalemming · 18/08/2024 21:03

I once had a truly terrible week at work, limped through to Friday and went to Tesco on my way home to get something for dinner and a bottle of wine. On the way out the shop the bag split, the bottle broke and I ended up with wine all over me. I was mortified and kept apologising. A man from the shop came over to clean it up and then get me a replacement bottle free of charge. He was so kind I burst into tears. Somehow it is always someone being nice to me when I am holding it together that pushes me over the edge!

Big hugs to you OP and I also wish pine cone poos on your ex.

This reminds me when I was a teen and convinced my mom to let me make nutella pancakes for dessert, I was coming back from the shop and the bag split, nutella jar broke and the nutella ended up on the street floor, the way 13 year old me was HEARTBROKEN!

WantingARefund · 18/08/2024 21:09

I’ve been there! Many many times. And I think honestly those who sound like they have it all figured out only have that bit of the puzzle! ❤️

EvangelicalAboutButteredToast · 18/08/2024 21:09

Bless your heart. I hope that twat feels like shit making you cry 😡

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