I just burst into tears in Tesco.

[Itsnotallsparkles]

NC as bit embarrassed. Just writing in solidarity to those struggling with stuff lately. I’m 30, recently dumped by my partner of 10 years and have been left in our flat covering all of the bills. £1200 rent instead of £600 each, you can imagine it’s tough. Stupidly the flat is in my name not his as I used to rent it before we met for £800, it’s gone up a lot in that time. He’s disappeared, blocked me and supposedly with someone else now.

Anyway, stood in the queue in Tesco. Had done a food shop of £40 delivered a few days ago but things only had a date of 1-2 days on them so needed a top up. isn’t it ridiculous how nothing has long lasting dates on it anymore? It’s a rip off.

Stood to pay and card gets declined, I’m not sure why as money is in there. I stand embarrassed with a queue forming as I check my app. No signal, stand to the side trying to join WiFi to check my online baking. Horrible man comes up next to me and says “thanks for holding up the queue’ well that was it, and I stupidly burst into tears. Left the shop.

Turns out my car insurance has taken a yearly amount from my bank rather than the monthly instalments I chose leaving me with nothing. I was sort of holding it together the past few weeks until that moment. Had a little cry/scream in my car😂

but anyway, I just wanted to write on here as I see a lot about darling husbands, massive houses, big holidays and weddings and I just wanted to reach out to those who are struggling whether that be with money, a relationship breakdown, illness, or a hard week. Mumsnet should be a place to support each other in solidarity sometimes. I see too much on here of people ripping each other apart.

Hope you complained to the supermarket manager / customer services about the attitude of the chashier who served you and get a refund on thise items, as shouldn't have to pay full price for discounted items that are at their sell-by-date or for whatever reason that they had been reduced.

and OP, hope that you can get your direct debit refunded to you for taking the whole year's lump sum out all at once, instead of the monthly installments that you had agreed to.

xx

Every cloud has silver lining ( even tough you can’t see it yet)
This is only temporary

Wish you all the best
💐🌺

@Itsnotallsparkles
It is shitty isn't it? Everything costs at least double what it did. Fucking Tories.

That man is an arse, karma will get him.
Your ex is an arse too, you sound lovely.

Better days are coming.

Sending a hug. Pls recall the payment x

That’s really bad of your insurance company. Give them a ring and ask them to change it to monthly instalments. I’m so sorry they put you in that position.

What an arsehole that man was too. He should have just offered to pay for your groceries if he was in such a hurry, it doesn’t sound like you were doing a huge shop.

Im sorry also that you’ve been left paying all the rent. On the positive side - you’re only 30 and you have a world of experience and opportunities ahead. You’ll look back on this time from a better place and want to give your current self a big reassuring hug. Things will get better xx

Yes, but also call the insurer. They will fix it for you. I would also do a Google search for car insurance and see if you can change to a cheaper insurer.

This is the first year I’ve actually had to to really take control of all my insurance etc and I’m getting all of it for almost half price by changing (house, car, changing from
British Gas to 27/7 Home Rescue). It’s just spending the time to look around, which a lot of us doing have.

Oh how awful, I'd have cried too! I hope things get better for you soon!
Regarding the car insurance, I think you get a 14 day cooling off period where you can cancel free of charge / they refund you? Might be worth looking in to and seeing if you can find it cheaper elsewhere!

OP I hope you enjoyed your film and tea. So restorative 😊

I've been there. Cried in all sorts of places. And also handed tissues to several people who were crying on the tube, in their car, in a hospital waiting room, at a supermarket. I think we as women only worry about crying in public because we think others (mostly men) see it as weakness. When,in fact, it's a strength to let out emotion and frustration.

I hope that you can find more strength to weather your currently stormy weather.

And the pine cone poo is likely to be enshrined as a MN expression, oft used in times of need 😆😂💩

Sorry but this made me lol. Pinecone 😆
I would have cried too OP. What is wrong with people 😩 it will get better 💜

Hello there, Please don't fret, tears are our way of letting it out, and never mind the twerp who had to have 'his say' in the supermarket, what a p. But the world is full of them and we choose to ignore them, right! Mine bu*d off after almost twenty years leaving behind a son and daughter, who would then have nothing to do with him. He had it planned to perfection, had cancelled the insurance covering the mortgage in advance to try to get me to panic and sell the house, (he wanted half!), it was mine even before I met him and he had a fight on his hands if he thought that was going to work. It didn't, both the insurance and house eventually became wholly mine in the courts. The judge saw straight through him and threatened him with perjury and the cells if he didn't stop lying under oath. I was awarded the divorce and our home. It wasn't easy but the kids went to university and we just kept going. One evening I had £3.50 left for the week and my car ran out of petrol, my son ran to the gas station and put what we had in a petrol can and we got home. Just keep going, work out all the problems, I know it hurts but that will go in time, get creative it's great for self esteem, you will never know until you try, move if you have to, or rent out some rooms to reliable tenants, if you are able. Many years have passed here, we have moved house as I now need to be on one floor due to unexpected mobility issues. Life is good, grandchildren have arrived and grown and he missed it all. New beginning happen all the time and sometimes they are hard but they get easier as you learn and grow with it. Wishing you all the best X

That “ man “ is an asshole .
I would have asked if you were ok and paid for your shopping.
For what it’s worth I’ve had short dated things in a Sainsbury’s delivery that weren’t pointed out to me before delivery.
They refund for that .
And as for your insurance taking the entire annual payment at once , I’d let them know that left you in an embarrassing situation with no £ .
They may apologise, refund you and go back to monthly payments.
I also have been holding back tears in different circumstances in shops ( dad had just died and youngest being very difficult)

Life can be full of s#%t at times - you just have to try not to fall down in it. I went through something similar to you many years ago. I had two kids and was in despair as to how I would manage but very gradually I picked myself up again just as you will too. I later met someone lovely whom I’ve been married to for 25 years. You’ll get through this bad time and come out of it more resilient and with a better sense of which men are the good ones.

Take care and sending a big hug.

Remember these feelings are temporary & things will get better. Sending hugs & strength. Oh & next time someone is rude to you look them straight in the eye & tell them to 'F* right off' then smile sweetly & walk away.

Can you find a lodger if the flat is a two bed? NRTFT sorry.

@Itsnotallsparkles awk I’m really sorry this has happened to you all at once. Hopefully the next few days are better

@rubesmum I loved your story. Go you.

Life can be tough.Your ex and that man are complete 🛎🔚's. Things will improve and you will have the last laugh. I've got to go to hospital 🏥 tomorrow for a mammogram 🍉🍉😂ultrasound and core biopsy as I could have the big C🎀🫣 fingers crossed 🤞🏻 it's a cyst alone. I'm feeling so anxious but been in touch with GP and have some short course valium to get me through. Sending you hugs. X

Oh honey it’s tough isn’t it. I’m in a similar situation myself. But with mortgage and three kids. I work too and universal credit is now my best friend. Food shops are extravagant and I’m really finding it difficult whilst they are off school. I would have told that man to GFH sending you some strong vibes and a money spider 💕💕💕

Forgot to quote who I was replying to

My son was in desperate need of oxygen as his Sat's were in the early 80s. He was just a baby. I opted to take him in myself as the rural ambulance service could have arrived too late. The road to the hospital is windy, no way to overtake. I had to drive at 38 miles an hour on a national speed limit road just because someone else decided they wanted to go slow that day. Sometimes to other people, it doesn't matter how you feel. We have more important reasons to be driving the speed limit and not crawling along for your convenience. I'm fairly sure he didn't realise or remember this was the main road to the hospital but his selfishness could have cost my little baby boy his life. Even during your lowest ebb others need to get around you when you're in their way.

Very sorry OP, sending huge hugs and solidarity, I've been there too, and it's shite. Things will get better, make the bank return your money under the DD guarantee and don't take any nonsense from them or the insurance company. No posh houses, amazing husbands or fancy holidays here either! Xxxxx

Ignore people who tell you to suck it up. It's tough when money is tight. What a nasty person in the queue.

I've had it good and bad financially. When times are good financially I have paid the bill at the checkout when someone struggling with money in front of me in the queue. If I wanted them out of the way so I can get to where I needed to be on time. Shouting and moaning rarely solved my problem.

Plus lve told the kids if everyone did this the world would be a better place.

You are right it is a rip off in some supermarkets. I've gone to batch cooking and cooking from scratch as unfortunately I am going through rough patch too.

Hope things improve for you and everyone soon.

Ah bless you. I’m sorry you’re going through this. Karma will bring him more than a pine cone out of his ass, but for now just take one minute, one hour, then one day at a time. Little steps eventually become giant leaps. Surround yourself with good friends 💐 You WILL come out the other side, forever changed, but it really does get better ❤️‍🩹

I have just been horribly abused at age 76 by what l thought was a 71 year old lovely man. He turned out to be a Covert Narcissist. I HAD to dump him before he killed me. So l am sad for you and stay strong..ask your pals to help if you need. We are all in differing states of panic ! Sending 💕

@Itsnotallsparkles

I hope you've managed to get some food and cash sorted. What a shit your ex is, dumping you with all that rent etc to cover, that's really awful.

I agree with you that so many MN posts seem to be about not being able to afford school fees or that 'much needed' second holiday, and it's bonkers. Who has that much money??

Have a good cry. You deserve it.

Feeling sorry. Just ignore people like that prick.
As to dates, I assume this is one of the "problems" with having home deliveries - they can palm off all the short-dated stuff that people like me avoid in the shop!