I just burst into tears in Tesco.

[Itsnotallsparkles]

NC as bit embarrassed. Just writing in solidarity to those struggling with stuff lately. I’m 30, recently dumped by my partner of 10 years and have been left in our flat covering all of the bills. £1200 rent instead of £600 each, you can imagine it’s tough. Stupidly the flat is in my name not his as I used to rent it before we met for £800, it’s gone up a lot in that time. He’s disappeared, blocked me and supposedly with someone else now.

Anyway, stood in the queue in Tesco. Had done a food shop of £40 delivered a few days ago but things only had a date of 1-2 days on them so needed a top up. isn’t it ridiculous how nothing has long lasting dates on it anymore? It’s a rip off.

Stood to pay and card gets declined, I’m not sure why as money is in there. I stand embarrassed with a queue forming as I check my app. No signal, stand to the side trying to join WiFi to check my online baking. Horrible man comes up next to me and says “thanks for holding up the queue’ well that was it, and I stupidly burst into tears. Left the shop.

Turns out my car insurance has taken a yearly amount from my bank rather than the monthly instalments I chose leaving me with nothing. I was sort of holding it together the past few weeks until that moment. Had a little cry/scream in my car😂

but anyway, I just wanted to write on here as I see a lot about darling husbands, massive houses, big holidays and weddings and I just wanted to reach out to those who are struggling whether that be with money, a relationship breakdown, illness, or a hard week. Mumsnet should be a place to support each other in solidarity sometimes. I see too much on here of people ripping each other apart.

I recently paid for a young mum's shopping when her card was declined, I am not saying this to big myself up but to say that I saw my younger self in her, the me that once was struggling to feed my child and I just wanted to help her.

Feel for you OP, literally having Tesco August meltdown moment flashback reading it. Was going through divorce, juggling 2 jobs, young kids, XDH just announced working abroad for a few months, PIL hating me ( leaving their DS ) , no family around.
Ended up at walk in hospital with anxiety attack , never had one in my life .
All good now looking back at it but seeing /driving by Tesco always reminds of lowest point vs overcoming it.
My DS , now adult , was in a petrol
station Q when he observed what happened to you ahead in Q.
Think was a carer in uniform/lanyard.
Same, she burst into tears and went outside , payment declined, to call family to
pay.
DS went to cashier and offered to pay for her petrol.
No petrol = no job.
Only for cashier ( always a miserable jobs worth sod ) to decline giving info .. for data protection etc reasons.
Still bugs me and I avoid that petrol
station, as well as Tesco's.
Life will
get better, high tide always follows low tide.
Age 30 ( ish )
is a challenging point in life and usually throws lots of curve balls and life changing / character forming scenarious at people.
I'd say for the better but often one can't see it until you look back.
Tesco moments 🥀 🔜🌹.

I'm sorry you're having a tough time at the moment. I could do with telling myself this too, but, it will get better. Sending a hug.

I'm so sorry you are struggling so much, OP. Life is bloody shitty sometimes - sad frustrating, and always so unfair to the people who are the sweetest.and loveliest. 😪❤️

Over the past decade, I've cried and screamed silently more times than I remember. My health has been really shit, after a head injury, and post concussion syndrome, then I was injured by an off label antipsychotic prescribed for severe insomnia and anxiety. It gave me a permanent neurological involuntary movement disorder called tardive dyskinesia that is a bit like Tourette's and Parkinson's disease combined but more bizarre and obscure. It's been a hard pill to swallow (pun intended lol), and what with other awful times over the years including my brother passing away from cancer, having emergency surgery for an ectopic pregnancy, redundancy, and now going through a really crap perimenopause... I'm literally done with the horrid things life can throw at me.

But I have a wonderful family and children, a home, no real financial worries, so I really think it would be bad of me to dwell too much on stuff.

I do understand how hard it is ❤️😪 Sending you huge hugs and love xxx

Poor you. Wishing you better days OP. The end of relationship can be a very bleak time. You will smile again xx

I am sorry to everyone having a hard time on this thread.
I sign on tomorrow for first time for many many years. DP is on minimum wage, so things are very tight. Just been to cemetery today as first anniversary of my mother's death. Things were feeling very bleak. And then a woman is in her eighties who was in the cemetery started talking to me. She has lost so many people but also talked about trying to appreciate what you have. It sounds trite writing it down, but it wasn't.

Make a list of all the short-dated items and phone up. You can see in the app how many days each item is supposed to be good for (5+ or 2+ etc) and the day of delivery isn’t supposed to count. If they haven’t listed the short-dated items on your email receipt, you get a full refund. Best of luck and sorry you had such a horrible experience. I hope things improve for you soon xx

It’ll get better, OP. Things won’t always be this shit. Sending you a hug x

Poor OP, I’ve had times when I’ve really felt things getting on top of me, including money worries.
In fact I just recently had a direct debit bounce so I called the company and paid over the phone. They then tried the direct debit again and it went through so I paid twice. However, as PP have said, I did a claim under the direct debit guarantee by phoning the bank and the money was back in my account within minutes so do call your bank as soon as you can and I’m sure you can sort it out.
Also, claim single person discount on your council tax and look into universal credit if you haven’t already.
Sending hugs and handholds.

Solidarity OP, life is taking a monumental shit on my head atm too, must be something in the water! There will be better days ahead for us both I'm sure, we just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other til then

Sending you hugs and look after yourself x

Although you may still feel low tonight, you’ve sent some real positivity into the world to support others - you sound like an amazing person and ‘this too shall pass’. Rooting for you.

Wishing you all the very best OP, I am thinking of you this evening. For now just keep on keeping on, I am sure that one day you will find that times have got better for you.

You do know that it's perfectly safe to use food after those dates? You don't have to use it all up or throw it out.

What do you mean? Surely there's nothing with a maximum shelf life of only 1 or 2 days, other than fresh bread from the bakery perhaps? It's normally possible to find 5-7 days at least on meat, fish, veg, salad, processed bread if you root around at the back. How are you meant to do a weekly shop if stuff only lasts a couple of days

Been there done that.

What you need is a plan.

When you have a plan you’ll feel in control.

1. Housing, lodger? Small place? House share?
2. Increase your salary - find a better job, go for promotion, see what you can do next.
3. Food, think about batch cooking and freeze, get better at saving food for later in the week.

When you open your food shop if any of it is shorter-life without notice in receipt or partially squashed or marked, you can contact the store and they'll usually be happy to reimburse & feedback to the delivery store. As others have said, most food can be eaten later. Even 'use by' I generally smell and check & a day or sometimes 2 is fine, check online for advice but generally things like yoghurt is fine but chicken is not. BB last ages over date.
Take time to cry & scream at home whenever you feel like it during this shitty time so you don't build up so much inside. Imagine the future you looking back and giving you a hug x

There must be some lippy women about but IME it’s ALWAYS men who like to pointlessly pull up strange women on their public conduct. Makes em feel really powerful to make their little comments. Sorry this has happened, OP, it’ll get better soon.

What a unessarily angry twat. Imagine being so angry all the time about non issues. I bet his blood pressure will be off the scale. You will get out of your current hole. He is a hole so has to live like that every day.

Literally can't believe men think it's ok to say "cheer up love it might never happen"

Very sorry to hear this. But hope you can find a good new way forward.

You are not alone. XXXX

I hope that both the vile men (your ex and the queue man) get cockrot and that they drop off.

You will be okay Mumsnet is behind you x

Thank you! You’re 100% right, my managers on leave for 3weeks or so and I was thinking I’d have to give notice to them, but I could go straight to HR of course! Thank you :)

I’d be absolutely gutted if I had to, but we’ll see what the next 2 weeks bring. If no different by the end of the month then I think that will be it.

LOL, I'm going to steal that insult if you don't mind :)

But, yes, I also agree in this instance.

Life is pretty crap at times, I have mid stage Parkinson’s at 62, 7; yrs in, weakness in right side and nasty aches! Amongst other symptoms
Despite that if I’d been in Tesco I would paid for your shopping, I’m fortunate ( have some monies and my pip) that I could, and to the mum on maternity, I mean how crap.