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I just burst into tears in Tesco.

291 replies

Itsnotallsparkles · 18/08/2024 18:52

NC as bit embarrassed. Just writing in solidarity to those struggling with stuff lately. I’m 30, recently dumped by my partner of 10 years and have been left in our flat covering all of the bills. £1200 rent instead of £600 each, you can imagine it’s tough. Stupidly the flat is in my name not his as I used to rent it before we met for £800, it’s gone up a lot in that time. He’s disappeared, blocked me and supposedly with someone else now.

Anyway, stood in the queue in Tesco. Had done a food shop of £40 delivered a few days ago but things only had a date of 1-2 days on them so needed a top up. isn’t it ridiculous how nothing has long lasting dates on it anymore? It’s a rip off.

Stood to pay and card gets declined, I’m not sure why as money is in there. I stand embarrassed with a queue forming as I check my app. No signal, stand to the side trying to join WiFi to check my online baking. Horrible man comes up next to me and says “thanks for holding up the queue’ well that was it, and I stupidly burst into tears. Left the shop.

Turns out my car insurance has taken a yearly amount from my bank rather than the monthly instalments I chose leaving me with nothing. I was sort of holding it together the past few weeks until that moment. Had a little cry/scream in my car😂

but anyway, I just wanted to write on here as I see a lot about darling husbands, massive houses, big holidays and weddings and I just wanted to reach out to those who are struggling whether that be with money, a relationship breakdown, illness, or a hard week. Mumsnet should be a place to support each other in solidarity sometimes. I see too much on here of people ripping each other apart.

OP posts:
Iamiams · 18/08/2024 19:20

Sainsbury’s guarantee 2 days. So if was delivered today anything with the 18th or 19th you can phone up their refund line and get a voucher for next time. Don't know if Tesco do the same?

ChimbarasiKotapaxi · 18/08/2024 19:21

Sending you my thoughts Op I'd have cried for much less

YesitsBess · 18/08/2024 19:24

I feel for you OP. Been there, on a practical note I always have a pint of milk and half a loaf in the freezer as a leftover habit from those days. It will get better I promise.

@PixiePirate thankyou so very much for my newest insult. What an absolute corker!

JJJxox · 18/08/2024 19:25

Bless you 🤗
things always seem to happen at once don’t they?
the only way now is up ⬆️
it will all be ok 🌹
I hope for pixie’s pine cone 💩 for him too! Lol

Possumly · 18/08/2024 19:27

I'm sorry you're going through this right now 😔
What an asshole of a man! Obviously not intelligent enough to figure out that you might've been having some difficulty and that's why the queue was being held up, rather then you were just doing it for fun.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 18/08/2024 19:28

If it makes you feel better I've burst into tears in public MANY times. Once was in the middle of HSBC. As I've got older I've got alot tougher but it still happens now and then. Hope you are OK OP and don't be embarrassed x

itsgettingweird · 18/08/2024 19:30

On lively it never rains but it pours doesn't it?

I find in situations of Stacy thanks a smile and "you're welcome" is often enough to confuse them 😂

But practical things. Ring bank and get payment recalled and get DD set up.

Have a look to see if you are entitled to any UC due to your rent and income.

Get in to council and get bill adjusted as you'll get 25% discount for single occupancy.

Flowers
AuntieJoyce · 18/08/2024 19:32

Everyone round him will have thought what a wanker. Imagine being him.

Onwards and upwards OP. In a year’s time none of this will matter and you will be in a much better place CakeGin

NoSnowdrop · 18/08/2024 19:35

Aw if it helps we’ve all been there. No need to feel embarrassed though I get it.

Things will get better even if it’s a bit of a rough ride for now. It will pass.

ShowOfHands · 18/08/2024 19:38

Pay at the Pump took a £100 holding charge from me on Thursday and still haven't given it back. I found out yesterday when I tried to go food shopping and my card was declined. I cried too. I felt rotten and embarrassed. I've since channelled this into anger, but I don't recommend that!

I hope that in time, you're in a much better place.

BCBird · 18/08/2024 19:38

Sending you a virtual hug. It hard when uou are struggling I know. U well rid of that asshole

cookiebee · 18/08/2024 19:41

Hope that bloke falls backwards onto a loo brush while wearing a loose fitting dressing gown, that’s after his pine cone 💩!

Best wishes to you OP, that sort of build up and release can happen to anyone, it’s our bodies way of releasing all that pent up stress.

I had mine working in a supermarket, me and partner had separated for a bit, my bank decided to withdraw my overdraft suddenly while I was very far into it, I had nothing In apart from rice and frozen peas, which I lived on for 2 weeks, I asked in the office if I could have a sub from my wages, the woman didn’t like me so said no, I walked into the general office and burst into tears! Stay strong.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 18/08/2024 19:43

ShowOfHands · 18/08/2024 19:38

Pay at the Pump took a £100 holding charge from me on Thursday and still haven't given it back. I found out yesterday when I tried to go food shopping and my card was declined. I cried too. I felt rotten and embarrassed. I've since channelled this into anger, but I don't recommend that!

I hope that in time, you're in a much better place.

I hate pay at pump won't use for this reason. Mine cleared my bank and I'd been planning on doing my tesco shop straight after and I had to basically wander round tesco refreshing my online banking for an hour

BeardofHagrid · 18/08/2024 19:44

I’m sending you such a warm fuzzy hug, OP. That sounds so horrid for you and then to have such a nasty comment at a vulnerable moment really topped everything off. I’m really sorry.

reallyworriedjobhunter · 18/08/2024 19:47

I've been there and know that awful feeling very well. Also had a break up that left me with an unaffordable flat and very battered mental health.

That horrible man. What a knob. Why do people act like that?

Sending you a huge hug. Things will get better x

Wahine24 · 18/08/2024 19:47

@Itsnotallsparkles It could be worse you could be his (twatty man) partner! Whenever you are down you can think about that :).
Some ppl are just knobs

Frith2013 · 18/08/2024 19:48

Sorry to hear about your problems.

I was a single parent for 20 years. Finally met someone who moved in with me last year. Turns out he wasn't very nice.

£1000 debt built up in that time (I was always so careful before) because he wouldn't pay for anything and I had to buy a double bed, mattress etc.

I was doing OK until someone at badminton asked me how I was and how he was doing (the ex). I had been blocked on everything for a few weeks at that point and it was one of the lowest points of my life. Had to do a funny, stiff walk out of badminton as I started crying so hard!

I hope things improve for you very quickly.

BeachHutsAndDeckchairs · 18/08/2024 19:51

Yea, we're skint too. Council tax bounced the other day so had to ask my dad to help pay for it when they reapply in a few days and got that look from him. Dc2 starts high school soon and we had to buy all the new uniform for both dc and I wasn't expecting it to come to almost £200. The car is in for its MOT tomorrow and then on Wednesday the cat is at the vet - luckily we qualify for free treatment from the PDSA but it is a lot further away than the local vet.

Being skint is shit op. You're not alone in that. Your ex sounds like a prick though and I'm sorry that he left you in the lurch like that.

nextdoorconundrum · 18/08/2024 19:56

I got a massive pension pay out last year.. my daughter asked me what was the best thing i bought..?the answer was this :

Money in itself really doesn't buy happiness.. what it does buy is the lack of stress associated to money ..

I no longer have to (real life) scrabble down the back of the sofa for kids bus money ... when I go out for food (rare ) I don't have to calculate what I can afford to eat.. if I want to pay all the bills .. I can actually afford to eat what i actually want.. I can pay my bills up front and avoid the interest added to monthly payments.. literally.. it's 'cheaper to be rich and much much much more expensive to be poor'

YogaForDummies · 18/08/2024 19:57

It's a fucking joke that people in this country are having to spend twice as much on rent as many people pay on a mortgage. A literal joke

Longchampsachomp · 18/08/2024 19:58

My lovely husband was dumped by his ex of 12 years, age 30. She cheated on him and left him to pay the mortgage by himself (even though she was on it) and then took her share when they sold.

He had the exact same moment as you. Got to.the till in Tesco with his shopping and card declined. He made an excuse and went home with no food.

My heart hurts for him even now, he's such a wonderful, kind man.

Things got much better for him though, we met less than 2 years later, after a tough few years each. 12 years now, we're so happy, financially stable with a gorgeous child.

Things will get better for you too, bless you. As my lovely dad says, nothing ever stays the same! I bet in 2 years you could come back and post on here about how much better your life is now.

Edited to say - sorry I didn't mean for this to sound smug. It was went more in solidarity as my husband and I both had tough times for a few years so I wanted to offer a story of hope.

PolaroidPrincess · 18/08/2024 19:59

Another one who would have cried too Flowers

NoLongerNHS · 18/08/2024 20:03

I am sorry OP. Sending you support.

Sugargliderwombat · 18/08/2024 20:05

I would have cried, too.

I am visualising him walking away feeling huge amounts of shame and guilt for making someone cry. He might have just been some dickhead but it's nice to imagine.

UniqueCrow · 18/08/2024 20:06

Don't worry people would have just wanted to help if they could xxx