I just burst into tears in Tesco.

[Itsnotallsparkles]

NC as bit embarrassed. Just writing in solidarity to those struggling with stuff lately. I’m 30, recently dumped by my partner of 10 years and have been left in our flat covering all of the bills. £1200 rent instead of £600 each, you can imagine it’s tough. Stupidly the flat is in my name not his as I used to rent it before we met for £800, it’s gone up a lot in that time. He’s disappeared, blocked me and supposedly with someone else now.

Anyway, stood in the queue in Tesco. Had done a food shop of £40 delivered a few days ago but things only had a date of 1-2 days on them so needed a top up. isn’t it ridiculous how nothing has long lasting dates on it anymore? It’s a rip off.

Stood to pay and card gets declined, I’m not sure why as money is in there. I stand embarrassed with a queue forming as I check my app. No signal, stand to the side trying to join WiFi to check my online baking. Horrible man comes up next to me and says “thanks for holding up the queue’ well that was it, and I stupidly burst into tears. Left the shop.

Turns out my car insurance has taken a yearly amount from my bank rather than the monthly instalments I chose leaving me with nothing. I was sort of holding it together the past few weeks until that moment. Had a little cry/scream in my car😂

but anyway, I just wanted to write on here as I see a lot about darling husbands, massive houses, big holidays and weddings and I just wanted to reach out to those who are struggling whether that be with money, a relationship breakdown, illness, or a hard week. Mumsnet should be a place to support each other in solidarity sometimes. I see too much on here of people ripping each other apart.

Agree this is meant to be a support network and safe place for mums - I see so many mean posts on threads that are just antagonistic or posted to provoke a reaction - why?! Why not just be kind and helpful to fellow mums?! OP you are doing an amazing job and every day that goes by you are gaining experience and strength - I think most of us have had a little cry or scream in the car - and not just the once either 🤣 but not everyone on here is going to admit it. Keep strong, you’re doing fab xx

I'm so sorry your life is rubbish at the moment and hope things start to look up for you soon.
Solidarity to you as I once cried in Waitrose and then lay on the floor as I was in so much pain. It was my lowest point, so I feel your pain. I just needed some cat food!

Sorry to hear, life is hard enough without other people making things worse. Big hugs
The good to go app is brilliant and morrisons is quite good at the moment. They have quite a few offers on at the moment and the staff are very helpful there. 5pm and later is good to goto morrisons as there's reductions on fruit and veg dated the next day.. 50%off sometimes! A good saving!

Agree same reason I stopped having food deliveries it would be much easier for me instead of packing up the pram and using public transport but I always found they give the items with the shortest date.. sorry that happened to you I’m sure plenty have been there holding up the queue while transferring money from savings.

Aw I’m so sorry if it makes you feel better I’ve also had a meltdown in the supermarket but that day I chose “violence” it was in the first 6 months of covid I work for the nhs in mental health so was still working, had to go to the shop at lunch (I think for toilet roll - one of the basics that were like gold dust) anyway parked in a space (not disabled or child just a normal space) went into the shop (there was only a very small queue) came out and there was a much longer queue, in the carpark going over the space I had parked my car so when I got to my car there was a woman standing at my car door on the phone but I tried to laugh it off like ooh sorry that might have been a silly place to park so close to the shop…she turns to look at me and with the most bitchy look says yes it was then continues her phone conversation…so I had to say excuse me can I get into my car she moved about 6inches so I had to squeeze past her (parallel parked at the spaces going down the side of the carpark so she had loads of room to step to the side, when I was getting into the car she was loudly talking about me on her phone..roll on my downfall…I told her to fuck off and move she then looked at me like I was the devil moved but then stood an inch from the front of my car so I couldn’t get out (through the stress of work/covid/and her being a total arse) I just held down my horn safe to say she jumped out her skin and moved but as I left I could see her gathering others in the queue to talk about how wrong I was to have parked there…still think I should have just cried that day instead of causing a whole show in the supermarket carpark 😑😂

Sending hugs, please mind yourself.
one day in was in tesco, rushing for work, had a basket of shopping at the self scan, and it kept messing up.
I was muttering and tuttering semi under my breath when a jumped up jackass, tesco manager came over to me and asked, are you having a problem, yes says I machine not working, thinking he was going to help.
He actually said you can't talk to my staff like that.....
Staff, it's a machine and I'm giving out to myself for messing up, thought he was joking, he threatened to call security to me. I really wasn't giving out that much, and it was to myself, so I emptied my bag on his feet and walked out.
but had nothing gotten for dinner

What a horrible man.

We should all remind ourselves when we get frustrated by trivial events, we don’t know how someone’s day is going. People need to be the kind person they think they are.

So sorry OP. As others have said, things will get better. Another single mum here with a horrid large mortgage payment and not quite enough money to go around. I've just sold my lovely cello to fund us through the next few weeks as car needs MOT, extra insurance payments, not paid by my second job (due July and needed for summer).

I've been feeling quite teary and trying to put on a brave face for my child who is aware that I am a bit sad at having to sell things.

Made worst today when I had a horrid aggressive man following me in my car. He drove almost into the back of us and leaned on his horn continuously because I stopped at a malfunctioning four way temporary light as several cars started to drive towards me despite my light being green. A couple of the road workers came over to have a chat with him...I had a small smile. Hopefully horrid man in Tesco will fall into a large hole and not be found for a week.

Sending hugs, hope your week gets better very soon!

I cried outside a haribo shop once. Total solidarity.

sounds really tough op, I hope things get better for you. I had a nightmare situation last year and had a teeny bit of money left until payday. Went to the supermarket at the special time and bought a big bag of yellow sticker items that were maybe 80% off.
Wasn’t paying attention as I handed my card over and the cashier had charged me full price on nearly everything. When I explained they were all reduced she was like ‘oh we’ll just have to scan it all again and you just have to pay again and we’ll refund you the money you spent in a few days’. I knew I didn’t even have enough to pay for the bag of reduced again, she’d cleared me out 😭. She was huffing and puffing, incredulous that I couldn’t do the simple thing of paying again. Rolling her eyes at the people in the queue to demonstrate how ridiculous I was.So I ended up just taking my bag of stuff that I’d never have bought at full price, for full price, and an empty bank account. I cried lots too. It took a week to refund. Things got better , and they will for you too.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I've been there too and it's totally shit.

The wanker who came up and stuck the boot in was just that - a wanker whose opinion actually means jack shit and says far more about him than it does about you.

Sending you hugs. Things will get better. I hope you have managed to call your bank and your insurance company to get the money back and the correct arrangement reinstated.

Oh poor thing - as a fellow musician I understand how hard the loss of your instrument must be.
I hope things pick up for you soon,

Thank you for your sweet message and so sorry for the situation you faced. You can only go up from now must be always in your thoughts. And to tell Universe you 'Trust life' is the first step to go from here. Life has the best path ready for you, don't resist! All the best 🤗

Not sure if anyone else has mentioned this but you can get food refunded if it goes off between 1-2 days after delivery in sainsbury and asda. Not sure about other supermarkets but you should complain and get your money back!

Sorry you're going through this, I'm in the same boat. My partner of 10 years has also left me (about 2 weeks ago) and our dd aged 3 and I'm pregnant (6 weeks) with our 2nd child. He'll help cover the bills this month but that's it, I've had to quit work due to poor mental health and I've got no money. Feeling very depressed at the moment x

Sending strength and a friendly hug to you OP ((( hug ))).

Sending solidarity, that was me a few years ago. I didn’t have the horrid man but did have ex with his new lady there instead prancing about like a pony.
It does get better, just a bit of a bumpy road sometimes. Hang on in there

@Itsnotallsparkles just to say, you're not alone. Even though it often feels like it. I've been through the wringer for the past 10+ years, one major life heartache and challenge after another, surrounded by ppl with great lives or at least pretending to have great lives. It's isolating & hard work. But won't be forever. And I say that as someone living it for 10+ yrs! Never give up hope of the better future waiting for you. Some days are good some days are bad,. Today was a good day because you solved your unexpectedly low finances mystery!
The nasty man who made the comment is a nob.

Big hugs 💐☕️
Things will get better. Hang on in there.

We all have an emotional limit and when we reach it all you need is someone like that dickhead of a man. All I can send is a hug and I hope everything improves soon. Can you talk to your Mum/sister/friend?

I am sorry that this has happened to you. It is unfair. I think there are many on this site who have suffered the same. It should be a place to support each other, and I think a lot of people give the impression of wealth they don't have, just as they have their own opinions, or pretend to and oppose posters just for the fun of it.

Don't believe that we are all made of money and successful. Life isn't like that. We wish it were, but then it wouldn't be life, would it. You only have success when you have overcome the opposite.

Everyone is struggling as you are. When you see large houses, don't think the people inside can afford to run them. Many cannot. I remember being to a club once, and it was my turn to make the sandwiches for tea and I had forgotten. We had a tin of salmon in the cupboard, so opened it and made salmon sandwiches. When it came to tea time, you never saw plates cleared so quickly, and these ladies of ''wealth and leisure'' were saying ''O salmon sandwiches.

The best thing you can do is ask for an appointment with your Citizens Advice. They are mainly volunteers, and very clever people when it comes to budgeting. They made me a budget. I gave them all the income papers and all the expenditure payments. Don't be afraid to ask them to help you. Have all your paperwork, all your income and expenditure, and do not hold anything back. Try to look out any you had before your P abandoned you.

You can only do your best, and it isn't your best if you are despairing.

Let me add something about Tesco: I live alone. When I order online, I put in the notes to stagger the dates. I get really cross when they expect me to eat everything in a day, and if I wanted frozen stuff, I would buy it.

It is difficult, though, to exert yourself when you don't know if you're afoot or horseback.

I was there five years ago. Husband decided after fifteen years of marriage and four children that family life wasn’t actually for him and started a new life in a different country leaving me with £30,000+ of debt I had no idea he’d taken out in my name.
Im telling you this because I also want to tell you that today I’m happily married, husband has gone above and beyond for children that aren’t his and our baby just turned 2. We’re by no means rich but I’m not saddled with the terrifying and crippling debt I was five years ago and we’re hoping to buy a house together soon.

However awful things might look right now this isn’t the end of your story. Your ex has done you a favour disappearing rather than hanging on sucking the life out of you and I dearly hope that man in Tesco was only horrible because he had a like the size of a canteloupe itching like crazy and he was desperate to get back to his car and give it a good scratch in private.

Have you made sure he cannot access any of your correspondence or payments?

Last year the energy server took the whole balance out of my account - over £2K. It left me in shock. I phoned the bank and told them and they reversed it - grabbed my money back.

I didn't know banks could do that. The DD was much lower.

I snapped at a cyclist a few months ago, who was cycling alongside myself and my babies yelling at us rudely for taking up so much space on the pavement with a double buggy. I was already up against the wall and he'd had plenty of room to get past, and if he's so impatient to get past, then why bother then cycling alongside me for several minutes yelling at us? Anyway, the landlady of the local pub said that she'd come out to stick up for me after she'd heard the shouting. I told the cyclist to shove a whole pineapple up his arse 😅