Anyone awake at all? Just found a man in the corner of my bedroom

[PollyPicksMe]

On my side of the bed. Stood next to me. Pissing on the floor!

The man is my H. I was absolutely shocked and I’m not a deep sleeper so knew what I was seeing was right

I quickly jumped up and screamed at him to stop. He went to try and carry on. I screamed again and then I cried (these are new carpets!).

He sat on the bed next to me, genuinely concerned as to why I was crying. He then realised what was happening, like a confused state of amnesia or something, and ran out to grab tissue and clean it all up

He went back to sleep obviously very embarrassed and confused. He was really really confused

What on earth is going on?! I said to him before he went back to sleep that he needs some sort of help, that’s not normal.

He said nothing like this has ever happened before.

Well, no, he’s never done a wee on the floor next to me in the bedroom! But he does quite a few weird things sometimes. The other week he got me a phone case. Said I was ridiculously for choosing the colour I did and that I was unbelievable. He kept going on and on! I then realised he looked like he was glazed over and not really him

He has told me to fucking sort my life out. When asked why, as this is midnight when I would’ve been sleeping for a while, he said ‘You don’t even train anymore. To be the best, you need to get out there with that ball at all hours’ 😒

Another time he’s fallen asleep on the sofa and come up here. I was putting on fresh sheets and he said ‘Why aren’t these in yet? You lazy bitch’. and then started wittering on some crazy stuff like ‘You need help. My maid from the 4 Season’s has his sheets done by Gloria. She is great. I wonder what sheets these are. Any idea of their thread count?’

Surely this is some sort of sleep walking behaviour? I’ve been married 8 years. My husband has never ever called me a bitch. He’s never called me lazy! He is incredibly confused when he Comes round and is embarrassed and sometimes a bit in disbelief because he just doesn’t remember

It is new behaviour. Started about 3 weeks ago and it really annoys me. And now I am quite angry!

Isn't that what Mumsnet is for? To give support to each other in the middle of the night when you are feeling vulnerable and worried and the doctors isn't open. No need to feel baffled.

It's not 'hysterical' to present possible worst-case scenarios that may need ruling out.

It is, however, pretty vile (and misogynistic imo) to accuse people of hysteria for simply pointing out said possible scenarios, and to use crying-with-laughter emojis in an earlier post FFS. I hope you're not a doctor because you're behaving like quite the medical gaslighter on this thread.

Is he a crack addict? That could explain it.

I do similar when I sleep walk, it happens periodically and often not for years. The difference being I've done this since being a very small child. He definitely needs to go to the doctors ASAP and get checked out. He shouldn't feel embarrassed and you shouldn't be screaming at him he won't have any control over it.

Your username speaks volumes.

It may not be seizures, but only an expert can say for sure. I’ve had seizures in my sleep. I’ve got up and done weird things and not remembered afterwards. Seizures aren’t just the falling down shaking type most people would recognise. He might be embarrassed or worried, so denial is normal in this scenario. Film it if you can; he must see his GP. Good luck.

The fact that this has started suddenly and only happens when he's sleeping I would be concerned that this is seizure activity or something vascular. It definitely needs to be investigated.

Actually, her own brain tumour.

Jeez, every pp said go to dr
Then we get 'brain tumour'. Obviously we want OP to realise seriousness, she did, but to use such a ridiculously aggressive example was totally unnecessary and alarming for OP
Proportional response, as in many aspects of life

This is a very standard description of good old, common or garden sleepwalking.

If it’s only just started happening suddenly then yeah, he should maybe see his GP for advice, but everything you’ve described is textbook sleepwalking and it’s vanishingly unlikely that he has any kind of mental illness, a brain injury or any of the other serious things people are suggesting, so please do take suggestions of schizophrenia and brain tumours with a pinch, or perhaps a sack, of salt.

Loads of things can trigger sleepwalking. Stress, medication, drugs/alcohol, changes in lifestyle or circumstances or environment, a disrupted sleep schedule, needing a wee, or (ironically) tiredness. You mention it often happens around the same time, which is normal because it tends to happen at specific parts of the sleep cycle (we cycle through lighter and deeper sleep throughout the night). Sometimes it’s ‘just one of those things’. Sometimes it’s linked to sleep apnoea or restless leg syndrome. If it’s really bad, then there are sleep clinics and specialists you can be referred to.

I completely understand that it’s really weird and scary for other people to witness. The best thing to do is just to be calm, and try to gently guide them back to bed - but obviously that’s not so feasible when someone’s trying to have a wee in the corner of the bedroom or appears to be angry or lashes out, or is trying to do something that might be dangerous.

I have multiple issues with sleep myself - I’m actually not a very frequent sleepwalker, as such, but I do (and see!) all sorts of other weird stuff while asleep and I certainly have had my sleepwalking moments…

Sometimes the 'ridiculous' hypothesis is the correct one.

Hi Op i don’t want to alarm you but a friends DH had similar symptoms relating to a brain tumour . Sadly in their case it was secondary . This is a strong arm to GP and go with him so he’s taken seriously and you can give details

Definitely see the GP with a view to investigating for e.g. neurological causes. Someone mentioned seizures. As I understand it (being married to someone who has seizures) they can present in different ways, not necessarily falling down and thrashing about, but they can also present as hallucinations etc.

FFS, you have just provided a diagnosis yourself after criticising others for doing so. Are you a doctor? If so, have you examined the man in question?

Excellent reply.

And the prize for the bitchiest comment on this thread goes to...

It sounds like sleep walking/sleep talking.
There's also just "sleep confusion", which happens to me about once every 15 years. Where I've started doing something really random in the middle of the night. Awake enough to remember it, but clearly very confused.
First happened on Brownie camp, aged about 7 or 8. Again as a university student, and again about 3 years ago when I was about 36.

Considering this has started the last three weeks and there's been so many incidents I would be inclined to take him to a&e.

It sounds like he needs an emergency CT/MRI.

This is very worrying behaviour.

Have skim read slightly so do apologise if this has already been mentioned, but was he drunk/drinking alcohol last night OP?

I only ask because I have literally multiple friends who have woke up to their other half pissing in the corner of the room/the wardrobe in the middle of the night after alcohol. I’ve always wondered why this specific thing seems to a somewhat common occurrence in men!

Obviously you’ve said you’re making him seek help with the GP but in the meantime have a read around parasomnia and see if that seems to correlate with his symptoms.

As others have said, if you can try and film it and keep a journal with time and roughly what’s been going on that day etc

I've heard of the misplaced weeing, when someone has drunk too much (mistaking a wardrobe for a toilet in the middle of the night seems to be comparatively common). Also, my DH used to say random things as he fell asleep "Why did you put the elephant there? We said we were going to use the pink one" sometimes - but it would be one sentence, he didn't respond if I replied and he never remembered the next day. A family member sleepwalks and, very occasionally, talks nonsense but not aggressively.

I agree he needs to see GP. Emphasise that you are very worried because his behaviour is so out of character. You should go to because he doesn't know/remember what he has done.

Please stop being angry.

He needs to go to a GP. We had very similar with a family member which escalated to violence during the night. He was eventually diagnosed with Parkinson’s.

I’m not suggesting this is the case with your OH but there are lots of reasons for this sort of thing and not one of them is his fault.

I have heard of this sort of thing from a few people over the years.
The one thing in common with all of them is alcohol and weed.

I strongly suggest that you go to the GP appointment WITH him - because he's unlikely to tell the story accurately and might well seek to minimise it.

I would also record each incident in writing and take that with me. Do this also whenever he has an episode - then you can show it to him when he's lucid and he's more likely to take in exactly what he's been doing.

I have suffered from similar episodes (not the weeing) over the past 30 years - very frequently when I was working in a stressful job, when most nights I'd have an episode of shouting weird things, seeing things in the bedroom that weren't there, etc. I only have them on rare occasions now (since leaving the very stressful job, in fact) but they still involve shouting and often seeing things that aren't there.

I've just posted that I have suffered from "episodes" similar to this, especially when in a very stressful job. I drank very little alcohol and have never smoked weed in my life, nor taken any other illegal drugs.