Anyone awake at all? Just found a man in the corner of my bedroom

[PollyPicksMe]

On my side of the bed. Stood next to me. Pissing on the floor!

The man is my H. I was absolutely shocked and I’m not a deep sleeper so knew what I was seeing was right

I quickly jumped up and screamed at him to stop. He went to try and carry on. I screamed again and then I cried (these are new carpets!).

He sat on the bed next to me, genuinely concerned as to why I was crying. He then realised what was happening, like a confused state of amnesia or something, and ran out to grab tissue and clean it all up

He went back to sleep obviously very embarrassed and confused. He was really really confused

What on earth is going on?! I said to him before he went back to sleep that he needs some sort of help, that’s not normal.

He said nothing like this has ever happened before.

Well, no, he’s never done a wee on the floor next to me in the bedroom! But he does quite a few weird things sometimes. The other week he got me a phone case. Said I was ridiculously for choosing the colour I did and that I was unbelievable. He kept going on and on! I then realised he looked like he was glazed over and not really him

He has told me to fucking sort my life out. When asked why, as this is midnight when I would’ve been sleeping for a while, he said ‘You don’t even train anymore. To be the best, you need to get out there with that ball at all hours’ 😒

Another time he’s fallen asleep on the sofa and come up here. I was putting on fresh sheets and he said ‘Why aren’t these in yet? You lazy bitch’. and then started wittering on some crazy stuff like ‘You need help. My maid from the 4 Season’s has his sheets done by Gloria. She is great. I wonder what sheets these are. Any idea of their thread count?’

Surely this is some sort of sleep walking behaviour? I’ve been married 8 years. My husband has never ever called me a bitch. He’s never called me lazy! He is incredibly confused when he Comes round and is embarrassed and sometimes a bit in disbelief because he just doesn’t remember

It is new behaviour. Started about 3 weeks ago and it really annoys me. And now I am quite angry!

Because her GP is probably not open until Monday and she was concerned.

That is the brilliant thing about MN. It is a shame that you cannot see that.

Or, potentially, a medical issue. And stress and anxiety still need dealing with. So speaking to a GP to rule out anything sinister and then handle the stress and anxiety more effectively is the right call.

You would likely be asking why someone hadn't gotten medical attention earlier if they were posting saying "it started with some sudden weird sleepwalking, then he beat me half to death and it turned out there was a mass pressing on his brain".

My grandmother had no signs of anything sinister but had started forgetting things. She and most other adults dismissed it as age. Until she had a massive fit, fell down the stairs and was rushed to hospital. Massive tumour. She never came back from that. Just a lot of pain til it took her.

These things are real. And it may not always be the case but it could be. And the safest thing to do it to rule it out. Which is all people you're accusing of scaremongering are actually suggesting.

Have a look into parasomnia. I can be fast asleep but walk around doing things (I once put the bins out) or be sat upright eyes open and hold a full blown two way conversation with someone. I seem completely coherent and but the things I say are so random, e.g one time I went on a 10 minute rant about not trusting Dolly Parton because she wanted to kill me.

Not sure how long it has been going on for as I have been single for 16 years but my DD was the one that first spotted it a couple of years ago. I work irregular and anti social hours so I fall asleep on the sofa while watching TV with her sometimes. She now films me on her phone when it happens so I can watch it back the next day or she just jots down the funniest sentences/phrases I come out with on her notes app.

My facial movements, personality, my eyes and voice change completely. I am like a totally different person. A lot of it can be quite negative or paranoid but sometimes I am really really happy and childlike. The only way to describe it is it's almost like a form of DID but only when I'm sleeping. If I wake up while it's happening You can visibly see the point I "snap out of it".

Mine happens generally when I am more stressed than usual or when I am more sleep deprived than usual. My daughter has researched it heavily and thinks it is linked to my traumatic childhood. I haven't got medical help as there are no other issues and I have never been in danger or aggressive. In your case though I would suggest DH checks in with his GP as his anger during these episodes is concerning.

Definitely gp ASAP but also take phone to bedroom with you and video any further episodes useful for both your husband and the gp.
Also just be prepared to leave the room if you feel unsafe .

Can I ask you to try to think back 3 weeks and see if there was something that happened, or perhaps some news he received or that you both received that may have triggered something in him that he has perhaps been keeping to himself (bills/work/family related) that may have been putting him under a lot more stress than usual? I'd also recommend getting to a GP as soon as you can as the GP up thread suggested that last night it was simply peeing on a carpet, but the next time, he might walk downstairs and get a knife and see his wife as an intruder. It isn't such a stretch to think that.

Yeah, that really confused me! I thought it was a stranger in your room. Do you sleep in different bedrooms?

I agree with urgent medical checks. But, if he’d been on a night out, alcohol might explain the pissing. I know a few blokes who’ve done that. In the 80s, one of them lifted the lid of his turntable and pissed all over his favourite album. Others have pissed in the wardrobe thinking it’s the toilet. Also, had he done any drugs?

Calm down please, sometimes it's best to throw the most unlikely scenarios to be on the safe side. A switch in personality is not normal and can indicate something more sinister. My daughter sleepwalks and doesn't behave this way. There's always one 🙄

But the trouble with Mumsnet is that the sensible comments and advice are often well hidden under a deluge of scaremongering or irrelevancy.

If the OP took notice of most of the posts on here she'd be imagining all sorts of extreme physical and mental illnesses are causing this and she should frog march her DH to A&E, demand that he is given a full body CT scan and then sectioned, before running home, changing the locks and then hiding in the wardrobe in case he forces his way in and bludgeons her to death.

Or, it gives her some idea of how serious it could be and they'll go on Monday refusing to be fobbed off.

So sorry re your FIL Was he always asleep though, with incidents only happening over night?

Tumours can and do present with somnambulism and sleep seizures. Maybe not the most common suite of symptoms but it's a thing. Why would you presume behavioural changes would show only when awake?

Not saying this the most likely explanation and I hope it isn't. But brain tumours happen, I should know. I'm not sure why you're at pains to minimise the need for investigation here of a new neurological symptom. Would you be telling posters to engage critical thinking if their partner had noticed a sudden 3 week change in bowel habits? The brain is no different.

Ok, but that could happen if she spoke to people in real life too.

Most people are able to separate the wheat from the chaff and won't blindly follow ridiculous advice.

My dh sleep talks when he's had too much red wine! He's also got a stressful job and is quite an anxious person...

It does annoy me and freak me out a bit, but it doesn't happen often. I think all the incidents you've mentioned happening within just the past 3 weeks would freak me out a lot! He should maybe stop drinking for a bit as it might be that? Also see a GP for stress / anxiety

Worth getting it checked out but it does soundproof like common and garden night terrors.

Fwiw, I lost my previous partner to a brain tumour and it did not present like this.

He had seizures, not during the night, and they were nothing like what is being described.

It's obviously not impossible, but it's unlikely this is the cause.

It sounds like (stress-induced?) sleepwalking/talking.

I think it's worth visiting the doctor, but please don't panic. There are a lot of people jumping to the 'worst case scenario' here when it's very unlikely.

Yeah get him to go get checked out. My husband has bouts of parasomnia, he will suddenly jump out of bed or sometimes scream (lovely). He also has well controlled epilepsy. He says afterwards he feels really scared so don’t be too hard on the poor bloke and reassure him when he comes round (then make him wash the carpet)

I agree a GP appointment. However, my Dsis started with night terrors in her teens, which she definitely still had in her 20's. VERY active and putting herself in danger often. Definitely asleep. She's now 63,fit and well, and as far as I know recovered from these episodes. Last reported was in her late 20's.

Aww op this sounds like ' sundown' fine all day then come evening turns into somebody else, confusing, nasty, but then does not remember next morning, it's called , sundowning ' it's so upsetting as they become another person and just for the evening and night time, hopefully GP will run some tests, he's very young tho, but if he is fine in day time hours, definitely talk to GP and get some help/advice, keep a dairy of times,

I suspect OP can sift through all the replies and glean from them what she needs to in order to take things forward with her DH. A range of possible options are always good when you are a bit baffled by something.

He needs a GP appointment asap. I'm so sorry.

This doesn't read Iike abusive behaviour; something is wrong.

Write down absolutely everything you've observed. Time of day, location, his manner, appearance, voice, vocabulary.

Go with him to the appointment. What is observed by others can be as valuable as what is being experienced, that's why both signs and symptoms are considered in diagnoses.

This! You need to ensure your own safety first.

She's not assuming symptoms would only present when awake. She is suggesting it would be very unusual for symptoms to only present when asleep - as reported in this case.