Anyone awake at all? Just found a man in the corner of my bedroom

[PollyPicksMe]

On my side of the bed. Stood next to me. Pissing on the floor!

The man is my H. I was absolutely shocked and I’m not a deep sleeper so knew what I was seeing was right

I quickly jumped up and screamed at him to stop. He went to try and carry on. I screamed again and then I cried (these are new carpets!).

He sat on the bed next to me, genuinely concerned as to why I was crying. He then realised what was happening, like a confused state of amnesia or something, and ran out to grab tissue and clean it all up

He went back to sleep obviously very embarrassed and confused. He was really really confused

What on earth is going on?! I said to him before he went back to sleep that he needs some sort of help, that’s not normal.

He said nothing like this has ever happened before.

Well, no, he’s never done a wee on the floor next to me in the bedroom! But he does quite a few weird things sometimes. The other week he got me a phone case. Said I was ridiculously for choosing the colour I did and that I was unbelievable. He kept going on and on! I then realised he looked like he was glazed over and not really him

He has told me to fucking sort my life out. When asked why, as this is midnight when I would’ve been sleeping for a while, he said ‘You don’t even train anymore. To be the best, you need to get out there with that ball at all hours’ 😒

Another time he’s fallen asleep on the sofa and come up here. I was putting on fresh sheets and he said ‘Why aren’t these in yet? You lazy bitch’. and then started wittering on some crazy stuff like ‘You need help. My maid from the 4 Season’s has his sheets done by Gloria. She is great. I wonder what sheets these are. Any idea of their thread count?’

Surely this is some sort of sleep walking behaviour? I’ve been married 8 years. My husband has never ever called me a bitch. He’s never called me lazy! He is incredibly confused when he Comes round and is embarrassed and sometimes a bit in disbelief because he just doesn’t remember

It is new behaviour. Started about 3 weeks ago and it really annoys me. And now I am quite angry!

Seizures are what I'm thinking, it's ringing all the bells

Yes this change in behaviour is very concerning he needs a gp appointment and you need to go with him and explain all this be brutally honest and write it all do so you don’t forget

I am really sorry. That’s awful

OP he needs to see a doctor ASAP and you need to park your anger and replace it with some compassion - what if it was you and your DH was telling you these things were happening and he was angry with you about it, but you had no recollection? He needs your full support.

Could be UTI or other infection. I'd be getting a urine test and blood test to rule it out. It can make people very delirious and confused - even hallucinate?
Please make him see a GP

One of my friends had a boyfriend who sleep walks.

He once opened their bedroom window. When she asked what he was doing he announced 'I'm superman and need to fly now". She put childlocks on the windows

He clearly thought he was in the bathroom when peeing rather than consciously deciding to piss on the carpet. I agree with others about ruling things out with a gp check

It’s sleepwalking/ sleep talking. I sleep talk and say all sorts of weird stuff, used to sleep walk all the time too. It’s actually terrifying waking up from sleep walking so I’m surprised he remained so calm. I often wake my husband up (in my sleep!) just to say something weird to him. Luckily he knows I’m just sleep talking.

Don’t be angry at him, he can’t help it! I’ve never seen a gp for this as everyone is suggesting, but that may be because it’s new behaviour for your dp, so worth getting checked out.

They would happen regardless of the time of day, not just when someone wakes in the night. It sounds more like sleep walking, but the sudden onset needs checking out.

OP have you asked his Mum if he sleep walked as a child?

Probably sleepwalking

He has my full support. But I think he needs to take it very seriously now and seek medical advice.

I am not angry because of the actual incidents, but it is incredibly frustrating when he very sincerely remembers 0 of it! And then tries to play it down and say surely that can’t be right

Anyway, I will tell him to see the GP. Purely because it’s a sudden and new onset. He didn’t have this in childhood, from what I know.

I don’t really understand the suggestions of a seizure because he has always been sleeping when it happens and it does match the profile of sleep walking perfectly.

Not always but lots of times these random bouts are when he’s had a few drinks - No drugs or smokes involved as I know that’ll be asked. But not always - Like the random shopping. He hadn’t had any drinks that night

I doubt diabetes. He’s fit and in shape so doubtful he would have T2. He has no increased thirst or weight loss symptoms associated with T1 etc

He lives an incredibly stressful lifestyle. We have 2 disabled children. And he works full time in a professional role. I’m their main carer but he too does a very fair share so it is hard work

Are you sure he's not secretly drinking OP. This sounds like the behaviour of an alcoholic. I'd rule that option out first.

I agree with a couple of other pp’s. OP isn’t his mum. Why hasn’t he already been to the GP? I don’t blame her for being angry. HE needs to make an appointment and find out what’s going on.

@PollyPicksMe my DH went through a phase like this. It was linked to stress and yes it was sleepwalking. Worse when he had had alcohol (not lots just a couple of beers). It was ultimately fine.

Encourage him to get checked out with the GP, stop drinking etc for a bit to see if that makes a difference and make sure there isn't anything medically sinister going on but ultimately he is still the man you married it is just his brain firing off a bit differently at the moment. Can happen to anyone.

Let us know how you get on

You've taken those symptoms completely out of context. These need to apply when the patient is awake, not asleep. We all see and imagine things when we're asleep (dreams) and feel confused when awoken abruptly. We're not all suffering from psychosis or schizophrenia.

For those saying the suggestions it may be a tumour are scaremongering, they're not. It could be. The sudden onset is the concern (not just for tumour, I mean in any case). Your DH needs to see a Dr. In his place, I would push for a brain scan just to rule out tumour. In hindsight I'd just pay if necessary. Very different symptoms but mine took 6 months to diagnose even already under neurology for something else, I kept being dismissed. Other potential tumours such as breast, skin, testicular, bowel, all have a 'rule out' approach IME. Brain, many GPs seem to have a 'rule anything else in first before considering a tumour' policy. It's a problem. Therefore potential symptoms need taking seriously and patients may need to really advocate for themselves. Why say it's scaremongering if these are real symptoms (also for epilepsy)? Even if it hopefully turns out to be nothing but a funny story down the line.

It could also easily be stress related, epilepsy, diabetes.

Not overstating the risk, it just annoys me when people minimise and dismiss outcomes they don't like the thought of. These things might not be common but they do happen. Awareness is important.

But surely it wouldn't happen when he was asleep only? From what OP has said he is perfectly lucid when he is awake. That doesn't sound like psychosis.

I was once incredibly stressed at work, then broke a bone and was off, but knew that things were going to be happening and the fact I couldn't control them plus the pain made me have a proper flare up of my night time activities. My DH once caught me at the top of the stairs, I was running full pelt away from a man in my bedroom. He knows this because I was screaming that there was a man in the bedroom.

Stress can very much trigger it. It's definitely worth him speaking to someone. They'll rule out the sinister and he'll have to work to find a way to handle the stress better. It is possible. I haven't had any for a couple of years now (may be about to, as something very stressful is on the horizon, but I have better coping mechanisms now so maybe not).

It baffles me why some people consider Mumsnet the first place to go for incidents like this rather than their GP.

You say he plays it down, as intrusive as it may seem OP, would you feel safe to record it in your phone? Then he knows just how strange is behaviour is.

Obviously not 100% its seizure and you really cant prove it until he has had all neurological investigations but please dont disregard this possibility and lead drs into thinking ”sleep walking” only. You ought to know that some seizures are only nocturnal, particularly frontal lobe epilepsy so he really needs to rule that out.

I’m a sleepwalker and I’ve pissed on the floor in my sleep 🙈 I walk during times of great stress - have done all my life. Parents would find me in the chair in our baby room frequently. I did find I had weed on the floor and then gone back to bed once (cringe).

In my case it’s about dealing with my MH. I haven’t had any sleepwalking at all for many years (OH would have noticed). It can be helped a lot.

Hey OP,
I am a trained therapist with general medical training as well. Does his behaviour only manifest when he’s sleeping/when sleepy upon waking or have you noticed a general change in his behaviour in the day too? Parasomnias (sleeping disorders), can be caused by a number of things: alcohol or drugs (is he taking anything prescribed; illegal drugs or legal ‘highs’?), brain dysfunction/inflammation or head injury (please don’t be scared but - tumour for example), lack of quality sleep, depression, anxiety, neurological disorders (eg: Parkinson’s disease, stroke).

He must see a doctor. He could be rather poorly.

Aside from that, protect yourself too. Many parasomnia sufferers; without medical intervention, can become violent and I know of cases, where the loving husband of many years, has sexually assaulted his wife, whilst asleep so please tell him to see a doctor ASAP.

This might be a way forward. My DH didn't have to because I was aware of it from childhood so I believed him when he told me the crazy stuff I did. But some of it was so mad I wouldn't have if I didn't know I did things like that.

Good grief the hysteria on here, like folks have never heard of sleep walking and what odd things folks do when they do it.

Because I can rant and vent to other (mostly women) at 2am and can’t do that with the GP? The person we actually need to see and push for some answers once we have a plan

I Would never have thought any type of seizure before posting here because entering this into Google brings up NHS ‘Sleepwalking’. So official NHS guide - It mentions 0 about seizures

It is a bizarre change of behaviour though, all of a sudden. Most folk know they sleepwalk.