Anyone awake at all? Just found a man in the corner of my bedroom

[PollyPicksMe]

On my side of the bed. Stood next to me. Pissing on the floor!

The man is my H. I was absolutely shocked and I’m not a deep sleeper so knew what I was seeing was right

I quickly jumped up and screamed at him to stop. He went to try and carry on. I screamed again and then I cried (these are new carpets!).

He sat on the bed next to me, genuinely concerned as to why I was crying. He then realised what was happening, like a confused state of amnesia or something, and ran out to grab tissue and clean it all up

He went back to sleep obviously very embarrassed and confused. He was really really confused

What on earth is going on?! I said to him before he went back to sleep that he needs some sort of help, that’s not normal.

He said nothing like this has ever happened before.

Well, no, he’s never done a wee on the floor next to me in the bedroom! But he does quite a few weird things sometimes. The other week he got me a phone case. Said I was ridiculously for choosing the colour I did and that I was unbelievable. He kept going on and on! I then realised he looked like he was glazed over and not really him

He has told me to fucking sort my life out. When asked why, as this is midnight when I would’ve been sleeping for a while, he said ‘You don’t even train anymore. To be the best, you need to get out there with that ball at all hours’ 😒

Another time he’s fallen asleep on the sofa and come up here. I was putting on fresh sheets and he said ‘Why aren’t these in yet? You lazy bitch’. and then started wittering on some crazy stuff like ‘You need help. My maid from the 4 Season’s has his sheets done by Gloria. She is great. I wonder what sheets these are. Any idea of their thread count?’

Surely this is some sort of sleep walking behaviour? I’ve been married 8 years. My husband has never ever called me a bitch. He’s never called me lazy! He is incredibly confused when he Comes round and is embarrassed and sometimes a bit in disbelief because he just doesn’t remember

It is new behaviour. Started about 3 weeks ago and it really annoys me. And now I am quite angry!

Yes, I agree. New onset sleep walking needs investigation. It's different if you've done it all your life

You must go with him to the GP to describe what has been happening. Film on your phone if you can. My DH has just been diagnosed with epilepsy at age 65. Most events are when he is awake but I am reading a lot about seizures that happen when asleep. It took us a year to get a diagnosis and treatment so don't hang about. The meds have stopped the seizures completely. Your DH may have something else but my advice is still relevant I think.

As others have said, he needs to seek medical help before his aggressive behaviour escalates into violence. You aren’t safe OP.

Sorry but I agree with PP here and my mind instantly went to brain tumour. A friend's husband had one and she said his behaviour really changed before the diagnosis and he got aggressive with her when that was completely out of character for him. Get him to GP asap.

My ex sleepwalked, talked and coherently too, could give a 10-15 lecture (lecturer!) but then would go onto something different. Or say something crazy.

Is he under any stress? I used to sleep walk and still talk, move things, get dressed/undressed etc. I'm apparently very potty mouthed too! 🙈 it definitely coincides with periods of stress. They might send him to a sleep clinic but I don't think there's treatment as such for it (might be wrong) unless obviously it's caused by a brain injury or something

I'm a doctor. I'm not condoning aggressive behaviour at all OP but if this is all uncharacteristic and sudden behaviour he needs to see his GP quite urgently. If it really escalates I'd go to A and E. I'd especially want to be excluding some sort of brain mass or seizures and do a scan. Any signs he's paranoid/deluded that could point to psychosis? Either way he needs to get assessed and you need to stay safe. Not to sound paranoid myself but what if he goes and gets a knife next?!

Maybe I've been watching too much of Grey's anatomy but in a few episodes I saw where someone who has an undiagnosed tumor has a switch of personality and I have heard of this in real life also. I am no doctor but I would say defo get him some help especially if he's doing and saying things that are not normal for him.

not Intended to scaremonger but this behaviour does she need urgent medical attention

Get him sectioned before he kills you.

Exactly, it absolutely doesn't.

Hope you are able to get some help to work through this. It sounds truly awful.
I had wondered if it might be linked to stress (and you have mentioned a stressful life).
Might it be worth recording an incident - more for medical purposes than for your husband to listen to.

Presumably this switch of personality was when the patient was awake? Not when they were asleep, like this case?

FFS I wish people would use some critical thinking skills before trotting out 'help' like this.

All the suggestions of brain tumours is beyond ridiculous and hysterical when the symptoms here exactly fit plain old sleepwalking.

I'm a doctor and I totally disagree that he needs sectioning. I wouldn't rule out psychosis but it wouldn't be the first thing I jumped to. As I've said above I'd want to exclude brain mass or seizures first and check bloods. Even if someone has schizophrenia or similar the threshold for 'sectioning' is way higher than this. I do agree that OP should keep herself safe though and consider sleeping in separate rooms/houses until this is resolved.

Has his stress increased shortly before these incidents started? I agree with the GP but I also agree with the PP who told her story about her ex - please be aware of the danger you could possibly be in. I hope you both get some answers soon

As a sleepwalker, who's done it since childhood, what do you think might bring it on at 32 with no prior knowledge you do it?

My husband started to have nocturnal seizures when he was about 60. It took several years to get a proper diagnosis because no-one apart from me and my daughter ever saw him actually having a seizure - they were quite severe at one point and I called an ambulance several times but by the time the paramedics arrived he had always started to recover. He was diagnosed with nocturnal epilepsy finally when he fell asleep in A&E, after being taken in after what we now know was a fairly bad seizure, and had another severe seizure with several doctors on the scene within seconds. Looking back over the years, I can remember several instances where I thought he must be sleepwalking, including once unlocking the front door at 1 am, and going outside to wee against the front of the house stark naked, but in retrospect I think these were probably mild seizures. It's now very well controlled with medication and he only has. occasional much more minor seizures.

Yes, as many of the early POs said.
No need for the dramatics

Poor man. This is very disturbing and could possible escalate to violence.

You know it's not really him that is acting like this and that something is very wrong.

He needs urgent medical attention and you need to go with him to the GP to say that you are fearful and to describe exactly what is happening.

I get that you're upset over your carpet being urinated on as that would be an instant divorce for me if it was an alcohol related incident but clearly your husband is suffering from medical episodes and needs help and support.

He's sleepwalking. Is he stressed out or worried about anything? I sleepwalk when I have a lot on my mind. It's not all the time, it comes and goes. Please don't let the drama llamas on here worry you with talk of schizophrenia and brain tumours. Everything you've said about these episodes sounds like classic sleepwalking. He could speak to his GP and they will refer for a sleep study.

As a sleepwalker, who's done it since childhood, what do you think might bring it on at 32 with no prior knowledge you do it?

Stress. Anxiety. Lack of sleep. Alcohol.

Or a mix of the above which has happened to cause a perfect storm.

I should also add to my previous post that my husband also had sleep apnoea and used to drink quite a bit, but has now stopped drinking almost completely. He usually now only drinks alcohol free wine and beer but two of his last three seizures happened when he had had a couple of normal pints.

I meant to include the post I was quoting so I'll try this again 😊

It is possible to be all of these emotions at the same time. Angry and annoyed about the carpets and also worried and concerned that this is so out of sorts for the husband has started behaving like this.
They aren't mutually exclusive emotions as far as I was aware.

Give the woman a break.

For fuck's sake catch yourself on