Do you judge/ pity converts to Islam?

[Candyapplesandhearts]

Firstly I’m a convert to Islam. White European, so more than likely if you saw me you’d assume I was a convert, plus my name would definitely give the game away.

i live in a metropolitan area where converts are yes rare but not too too share whereby it’s shocking.

well keeping this in mind, I bought a block of sessions for a beauty treatment, and the aesthetician was visibly taken back by me firstly, fine it happens because I wasn’t what she was expecting, with my name and I show up in a headscarf.

but the questions, not only were they pretty inappropriate but also steeped in judgment. I was shocked. I could tell that she wasn’t necessarily being malicious or even hateful, but she clearly had a very pre conceived notion about my motivations and my choices. Ie several questions about my husband and how he made me convert, or as she said ‘become Islamic’, lots on clothing and how she often feels sorry for a lot of Muslim women.

truthfully MN, is this a thing? Deep down are these thoughts people have but maybe don’t voice.

in general even at work I do have questions asked but they are more diplomatically phrased- so now I’m wondering am I actually being judged/ pitied?

I do, yes. Misogynistic religion and I can't see why a woman would willingly buy into it. Feel the same about some other very orthodox religions.

Wouldn't say anything though!

Yes, I would pity your oppression

I wouldn't say anything either but I sure would do some thinking and judging.

My manager is a revert and she has nothing but respect.
I respect she has her faith and if anything admire her dedication.

There are some that “convert” to join a crowd but that just means for some they wear a headscarf to please a family member.

If I were to follow a religion it wouldn’t be Islam but I don’t judge others for what religion if any they choose to follow.

I wouldn't give it a second thought.
Wearing a headscarf doesn't automatically mean "Islam" so how would I know what your religion is just by looking at you.

My late best friend was a Muslim convert. She was hijabi but nobody could have accused her of being subservient!

She gave me a crash course in how her husband had to earn enough for the whole family but her money was hers to do with as she pleased.

She also had to put up with a fair amount of unwanted shit from people judging, some of whom had a shock when I reported them to HR as no, you can't make comments about your co-workers being terrorists and expect to get away with it.

I am a convert to Judaism and most people are quite confused when I tell them. For them Judaism is an ethnic thing and I suspect they think I am not really Jewish because of my appearance. That's why I appreciate the bbc producing a comedy called Spent where the main character is a black Jewish lady- shows we come from all sorts of different ethnicities.

I converted to a liberal denomination so don't wear any special clothing but my MIL converted to an orthodox denomination and she covers her hair too (married women have to and she still covers it even though she is divorced), no one gives her any grief, suspect this is islamophobia!

No I wouldn't as I know a few women who married lovely Muslim men and didn't convert. I only know Muslim men well, no Muslim women. These men are lovely and that's where my opinion stops. I don't know any Muslim women well enough to form much of any opinion

Do you feel the same about Jewish women who wear wigs? What is the difference.

yes

Imagine a woman living in Iran who is forced to wear a headscarf upon fear of assault, imprisonment or death and what she would think of a white European woman with freedom who chooses to convert to a religion and then shows off her choice by wearing a headscarf. What an affront, I'm sure she'd think. What a slap in the face. It's a bit like LARPing, OP. I am sure you're earnest and sincere, but why in the world are you choosing something so many women are risking their lives to be released from?

Iran has just sentenced a woman to death for daring to challenge the very thing you are displaying www.voanews.com/a/iran-sentences-woman-activist-to-death/7711659.html

I would feel like you did it because a man wanted you to.
Sorry but that is me being 100% honest.

I don’t understand anyone joining a religion as I see them as set up to control people, generally the ‘ lower classes’ , keep them in order and keep the power, money and land for the ruling classes.
An invisible being in the sky who could send any punishment at any time was just scary enough to keep them in check. I think this about all the mainstream religions and the majority of them are very keen on controlling women.
But you do you. It doesn’t impact on me, I wouldn’t be interested enough to question you or anyone else about it. I’m not bothered if anyone wants to call themselves a Muslim, a Christian or a Martian. I’m not bothered what anyone wears, what they sing or chant. Just don’t include me I’d be rubbish at it.

Yes I would. I wouldn't say anything to you though. What's the point.

No I wouldn't pity you. I would probably be quite interested in what led you there but I wouldn't ask you because I'd think that would be very intrusive.

No I'm sorry but I couldn't subscribe to a religion that subjugates females
Not now or ever

No I wouldn't judge.
I also find it really weird that people home in on women covering their heads in Islam, yet there are other religions where women do this. Orthodox Jews cover their hair and abide by a dress code. Nuns wear head coverings. I worked in the Middle East for a period of time and ended up reading an English version of the Quran. I met some convert women as well and the ones I met were highly educated and and probably quite spiritual people before deciding to covert. They were all married to Muslim men but I learnt that Muslim men can marry women of the book so Christians, Jews or Muslims without a requirement for Christian or Jewish women to convert. Also that the conversion has to come from the heart of the woman doing it not due to pressure from anyone or God will not accept it.
Personally, I am an atheist but I love learning about different cultures, religions and ways of life. I think the sort of person that made you feel like that is probably the sort of person who struggles to comprehend ANY different ways or living outside of her norm. So instead of asking questions from a place or interest and viewing it as an opportunity to learn, her default is from a place of judgement.
Sadly, I also think many have a very negative view of Islam. My time in the Middle East dispelled many of the preconceived ideas that I didn't even realise I had.

No I wouldn't. I'm not religious but it doesn't bother me or make me question people if they are. As for how you choose to dress that's your business. I dress quite modestly, I don't like having my body on show, it makes me feel uncomfortable, I wouldn't want anyone to judge me on that choice or to suggest that it makes me oppressed.

As a woman and a feminist, yes I would pity you and be saddened. Of course.

I think the many orthodox jewish women who wear wigs and are also barristers, dentists and doctors as well as proud feminists would disagree.

A wig is just how they practice their form of judaism. The men have to wear suits which can be very uncomfortable in summer. My dh says the fringed garment he used to wear under his clothes when he was a kid was very itchy.

It's a tradition that married women wear a wig. I am not from that denomination so I don't wear a wig but I wouldn't assume they are less feminist as I am.

No judgement from me @Candyapplesandhearts. I think there's been a resurgence in religion recently as people are seeking meaning outside of materialism.

Unfortunately there is judgement out there from people who don't understand faith and those who are Islamophobic.