Do you judge/ pity converts to Islam?

[Candyapplesandhearts]

Firstly I’m a convert to Islam. White European, so more than likely if you saw me you’d assume I was a convert, plus my name would definitely give the game away.

i live in a metropolitan area where converts are yes rare but not too too share whereby it’s shocking.

well keeping this in mind, I bought a block of sessions for a beauty treatment, and the aesthetician was visibly taken back by me firstly, fine it happens because I wasn’t what she was expecting, with my name and I show up in a headscarf.

but the questions, not only were they pretty inappropriate but also steeped in judgment. I was shocked. I could tell that she wasn’t necessarily being malicious or even hateful, but she clearly had a very pre conceived notion about my motivations and my choices. Ie several questions about my husband and how he made me convert, or as she said ‘become Islamic’, lots on clothing and how she often feels sorry for a lot of Muslim women.

truthfully MN, is this a thing? Deep down are these thoughts people have but maybe don’t voice.

in general even at work I do have questions asked but they are more diplomatically phrased- so now I’m wondering am I actually being judged/ pitied?

It's a very important subject that threatens our very way of life because we see that freedom of thought and speech is curtailed in many Islamic countries in the world. We should all be discussing it and deciding if this is what we want in our country.

I pity anyone being caught up in any religion, so yes.

Exactly. However, I fear the West has already fallen and women like the OP, converting to please Muslim men, are deeply concerning.

I'm atheist and have trouble with the entire concept of converting from one religion to another. Even more so when it's to a religion that makes so many demands of women.

So I suppose I would judge, but I would never raise the subject with you. If you spoke openly about it, though, I'd certainly be interested to hear your thoughts.

@Opalfleur2026 No I don't feel the same about people who have other religions because no other religion consider my daughters or myself to be worthless simply for not being one of them.

Would you say that about jewish and Christian converts as well?!

Fine with that as they are part of our cultural heritage.

Yes I would pity and judge you. I understand (though also pity) people who were indoctrinated into any religion as a child and haven't managed to grow out of that belief system, but to freely choose to follow a religion as an adult is ridiculous.

You seem annoyed by the beautician's direct questions and opinions (which she's perfectly entitled to), as if she's made some wrong assumptions or faux pas (but you don't explain what). At the same time you also don't seem willing to explain why you've done it. You can't have it both ways. We're not unaware of the details of your religion, some of us have looked into it very closely. People will ask these questions, you can't stop us doing that in a free country. It's really up to you to explain why you're ok with such a backward, brutal and misogynistic culture choice.

Of course people will judge you

I can't give my opinion on here because the MN police will boot me off

I'm bemused by any who belief in god, so my 'judgement' wouldn't be specific to the religion you had decided to subscribe to

*believe

Oh wow the Islamophobia on this thread is huge!OP no, I don’t pity you at all. If we knew each other well, I might have some questions about your faith and how you came to convert, how you came to chose to wear the headscarf, and about your religion generally (i am a very lapsed catholic, and I kind of admire people with faith).

I'd just be curious and want to listen to your experience if you were happy to talk. I would not mention it unless I had a longish term relationship already e.g. we sat together at work. I would not ask a client or customer, as its non of my business!

It does always give me a slight shock to see a white woman wearing hijab but I think that's because I live in a very white northern small town where any diversity is rare.

Fear of or dislike of Islam.

I wouldn't pity someone who has freely made that choice. I would reserve my pity for anyone who is forced against their will to observe religious or cultural practices, whatever that religion may be.

It is shocking to me the assumption that a woman has done it for a man. A Muslim man is free to marry a Christian or a Jewish woman, therefore as I was raised in a Christian family (loosely) I wouldn’t have had to do anything.

perhaps that’s one take away some people can take from the thread

I'll be honest, I struggle to understand it. Just like I wouldn't someone starting to observe strict Jewish or Hindu customs(so many related to food and what you can and can't eat on certain days). Nothing to do with the religion itself, but all the restrictions and hard work that come with it. The lack of freedom, after living a life completely different. I struggle to understand choosing that, but I accept that as my limitation, not theirs.

I would but the pity isn’t limited to Islam.

There’s a Sex and The City Storyline where one of the main characters converts to Judaism because the man that she’d like to be with forever said that he couldn’t marry a non-Jew.

I am not religious so I see religion as something controlling and limiting so converting is something that I don’t understand and makes me feel sad for the person - especially females who seem to end up with the worse end of the deal (stricter expectations etc)

Wouldn't assume someone wearing a headscarf was immediately Muslim, but wouldn't assume you were an extremist just because you did either.

In general, I don't think organised religions should be encouraged at all in modern society. Too many reasons in them for people to use to judge at the least, suppress, and kill each other. Don't even have to be extremists of one religion to think less of a member of another, as this thread itself shows.

I pity you for thinking God has an issue with your hair. God doesn't, men do.

Same.

(Please don't bother dm'ing me to argue), I was raised in the Muslim faith and am not white. Yes I'd feel sorry for you. Why stand out and be an object for pointing, staring, assumptions if you don't need to be. At least you are lucky that all you need to do is take your head scarf off and you become palatable to the majority.

Yes I would