Do you judge/ pity converts to Islam?

[Candyapplesandhearts]

Firstly I’m a convert to Islam. White European, so more than likely if you saw me you’d assume I was a convert, plus my name would definitely give the game away.

i live in a metropolitan area where converts are yes rare but not too too share whereby it’s shocking.

well keeping this in mind, I bought a block of sessions for a beauty treatment, and the aesthetician was visibly taken back by me firstly, fine it happens because I wasn’t what she was expecting, with my name and I show up in a headscarf.

but the questions, not only were they pretty inappropriate but also steeped in judgment. I was shocked. I could tell that she wasn’t necessarily being malicious or even hateful, but she clearly had a very pre conceived notion about my motivations and my choices. Ie several questions about my husband and how he made me convert, or as she said ‘become Islamic’, lots on clothing and how she often feels sorry for a lot of Muslim women.

truthfully MN, is this a thing? Deep down are these thoughts people have but maybe don’t voice.

in general even at work I do have questions asked but they are more diplomatically phrased- so now I’m wondering am I actually being judged/ pitied?

Well the one thing you can do adult say about any convert is they didn't "have" to do it.

Surely you're a revert, isn't that the belief in Islam?

I would feel sorry for you. I’d like to talk to you about what has happened to you in your life but I would be respectful.

I don't think well of anyone who willingly joins any organisation which envisages death for leaving it. Apostasy from Islam is a crime in a number of countries which are not secular and where Islam is the dominant ruling religion. It's all very well to say that Islam in Britain is not like that or that apostasy from Christianity used to likewise be a crime resulting in death. Christianity has lost its claim to such all-encompassing temporal power, because it has been forced to lose it through secularisation in a way that Islam does not appear to have done. It's very well to say that this is not the fault of Islam as a religion itself, but rather the fault of the cultures and powers using it in this way, but it can't be completely separated out. That's where some of the side-eying of relatively privileged Western converts comes in, that this is a person who happily and willingly signs into an association which others (ex-Muslims) are desperate to leave and cannot fully disentangle themselves from.

Do any women convert to Islam not for a man or having been influenced by men? I'd be interested to hear about that.

No @Candyapplesandhearts I wouldn’t judge or pity you.
i would be interested in your story, I might be slightly envious even of your strong faith.

Some people desperately need their horizons widened.

yes, look at the teacher in Batley and what happened to him. If this is the direction that this religion is going then it's more than alarming for our democracy and our freedom of thought and speech. People should be concerned.

Don't you find the practice of halal abhorrent? I would.

I wouldn't say pity. But I'd say I felt like I couldn't imagine myself in a similar position.
To 'convert' to a religion, whether male or female, because your partner influenced you to do so doesn't sit well with me. I am incredibly stubborn, I guess that's not advantageous all the time.
But to convert to a religion where women are treated less equally than in secular society seems detrimental. Though of course I would respect their choice. I guess I'd also be interested in hearing their reasons and open to possibly changing my views.

She's talking to us, a general audience, though. So convert is reasonable. To believe someone is a "revert" you have, by definition, by a Muslim. She's just communicating clearly.

We need tolerance in all directions. Yea hers being hounded into hiding is also unacceptable.

Why do you assume all Muslims are the same

Would you assume victoria starmer (who takes her kids to my synagogue occasionally and is jewish) is the same as an ultra orthodox rabbi in Stamford hill? That the nice vicar in your local church who organizes the food bank is the same as the evangelical Christians who protest outside abortion clinics?

If you say of course not then I would say it's double standards.

The Islamaphobia on this thread is wild. It would not be acceptable to make these kinds of comments about any other religion.

I assume you would also say the same for the women who convert to christianity/judaism/Buddhism

That's quite condescending isn't it.

Could you define Islamaphobia please?

Yes I would, but I wouldn't say anything. A girl at my dds nursery is an English young convert and well,it is what it is.

I think people are being very honest. It's OK not to particularly like Islam or religion in general.

As an aside - I find it curious that you 'converted'

The word usually used is 'reverted'

There are extremes in any religion, and it can be ignorant to assume following a religion can mean you are subject to those extremes.

One thing for certain is it is women or LGBT who suffer from the extremes in any religion… however not everyone who follows religion is an extremist or subservient, and I think there can be a lot of ignorance around it. It just depends on an individuals circumstances and their free will/happiness at doing what they are doing.

What are the consequences of changing your mind?

All I can say that if Israel ever becomes a halachic state where they stone people for breaking shabbat (please no!), I would still keep my faith and remain Jewish.

The politics of Israel has nothing to do with my faith, I also support gay marriage and a two state solution (this is the view of my denomination as well)..

Perhaps Muslims also feel the same way, even more so cos there are a billion Muslims .

I wouldn't judge, pity you or ask any questions but I would be intrigued about how you came to that decision. I have met the odd woman I presumed was a convert before and wondered it then too. I would mainly be wondering how you came to believe in something you presumably didn't always believe it. I might be wondering how deeply you truly believed it or if you were doing it for someone else. If you did deeply believe in it, why didn't you realise this earlier in life? If you had followed another religion, why did your beliefs change? If you weren't religious before, what has sparked your new beliefs? That sort of thing. But I am quite interested in knowing about people and what's going on inside them, so it would be a point of curiosity for me, nothing more.

I have negative thoughts about any adult who participates in a religion where women are actively separated and held to different standards. This is especially true when those standards are used as an excuse to restrict women’s
choices.

so it is not specific to Islam. Most religions have practitioners who fall into this category.