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Do you judge/ pity converts to Islam?

792 replies

Candyapplesandhearts · 27/07/2024 17:27

Firstly I’m a convert to Islam. White European, so more than likely if you saw me you’d assume I was a convert, plus my name would definitely give the game away.

i live in a metropolitan area where converts are yes rare but not too too share whereby it’s shocking.

well keeping this in mind, I bought a block of sessions for a beauty treatment, and the aesthetician was visibly taken back by me firstly, fine it happens because I wasn’t what she was expecting, with my name and I show up in a headscarf.

but the questions, not only were they pretty inappropriate but also steeped in judgment. I was shocked. I could tell that she wasn’t necessarily being malicious or even hateful, but she clearly had a very pre conceived notion about my motivations and my choices. Ie several questions about my husband and how he made me convert, or as she said ‘become Islamic’, lots on clothing and how she often feels sorry for a lot of Muslim women.

truthfully MN, is this a thing? Deep down are these thoughts people have but maybe don’t voice.

in general even at work I do have questions asked but they are more diplomatically phrased- so now I’m wondering am I actually being judged/ pitied?

OP posts:
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UnfriendMe · 27/07/2024 18:45

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Which religion isn't violent and misogynistic?

Opalfleur2026 · 27/07/2024 18:46

UnfriendMe · 27/07/2024 18:45

Which religion isn't violent and misogynistic?

Look up Quakers, Unitarians, Liberal Judaism, Reform Judaism

You would be surprised at some of their views.

Alltheyearround · 27/07/2024 18:47

There are lots of different Muslim paths, some of which don't make headlines like other more controversial branches. For example, Sufis.

Some branches of Islam have persecuted them because some feel the ideas of the two groups are so at odds (also seen in Christianity in the Civil War).

It's like Christianity or Islam or Buddhism e.g. Quakers and Catholics could be poles apart on all kinds of thinking. Also each individual has their own faith and belief unique to them. I was brought up as a Catholic and value some aspects but soon saw as a teenager the more repressive aspects and organisational hypocrisy. Does than mean I then hated my gran as a practicing Catholic? Of course not. She was quite able to observe flaws long before I came along (e.g. the very poor being asked to contribute to church coffers during WW2 which she saw as an exploitation of their faith - people were brought up to obey priests).

No two people are the same.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Runsyd · 27/07/2024 18:48

Opalfleur2026 · 27/07/2024 18:46

Look up Quakers, Unitarians, Liberal Judaism, Reform Judaism

You would be surprised at some of their views.

Misogyny is universal. It's the water all man-made religions swim in, especially more recent ones like trans activism.

SlothOnARope · 27/07/2024 18:48

Faith is a very personal thing and should stay within the designated places of worship, or completely private, in my unimportant opinion.

As you're asking for honest opinions: yes I would inwardly judge. Pity no, but I would think (and have thought in similar situations) that you were on your own personal spiritual path of discovery and had got stuck in a tricky patch.

I respect your right to make the decision you made to convert, but not the decision.

Your life, your business. I don't think you're doing yourself any favours but if you're happy, crack on.

Cobblersorchard · 27/07/2024 18:49

Yes. I judge.
I can’t believe anyone would voluntarily subscribe to it. It’s one thing being born in to it but conversion is a whole other level of batshittery.

Billyballyboo · 27/07/2024 18:49

UnfriendMe · 27/07/2024 18:45

Which religion isn't violent and misogynistic?

Christianity. And quote the crusades at me. It was 1000 years ago.

Bustedpoon · 27/07/2024 18:50

The beauty of our country is you can call yourself whatever you want and wear whatever clothes you want within reason. Just dont try and to the opposite in less tolerant nations.

And "convert" is a misnomer. You now just believe different things.

Opalfleur2026 · 27/07/2024 18:50

Runsyd · 27/07/2024 18:48

Misogyny is universal. It's the water all man-made religions swim in, especially more recent ones like trans activism.

Liberal Judaism was founded by a woman, Lily Montagu.

Runsyd · 27/07/2024 18:50

Billyballyboo · 27/07/2024 18:49

Christianity. And quote the crusades at me. It was 1000 years ago.

Still presents God as male. Very patriarchal in its structure and outlook.

notatinydancer · 27/07/2024 18:50

Yes I would , it's not nice for women to be oppressed.

Alther · 27/07/2024 18:55

Eastie77Returns · 27/07/2024 18:11

The Islamaphobia on this thread is wild. It would not be acceptable to make these kinds of comments about any other religion.

I dont like any religions.

I think they're all a big con, made.up by men to keep women down

Bumpitybumper · 27/07/2024 18:56

StripedPiggy · 27/07/2024 18:33

Correct.

And that is a massive problem in our society and in other comparable countries. Particularly France. In a free, secular, democratic society which is governed by laws not religious edicts we should be able to criticise ALL religions. And the fact that we can’t raises profound questions about how Islam & secular democracy can co-exist in the long term.

This is a really valid point that is often overlooked. Islam does not allow for secularism in the way that other religions, most notably Christianity does. I think we are a bit naive in the west about this and how tolerance and acceptance of other people's religious beliefs is possible in all religions when it simply isn't. Many of our traditions are rooted in the Christianity that we now pour scorn on and see as repressive. I think we have become so complacent that these values are universal that we don't see the threat from those that will openly tell us that we can't live in harmony with them whilst holding different religious beliefs.

Just to be clear, I'm not saying all Muslims aren't tolerant or bad people, but that Islam is a fundamentally different religion to Christianity and we need to really educate ourselves about what these differences actually are and how it even if they can be compatible with a liberal, religiously diverse country.

Alltheyearround · 27/07/2024 18:56

@Scattybrain2022 Please don't leave. This is exactly why MN needs different views.

Often the most strongly opinionated shout the loudest but that should not drown out other perspectives.

Chat and AIBU are also a world away from the religion/philosophy forums where there is a more tolerant discussion.

TheHuntSyndicate · 27/07/2024 18:58

Ministry of Justice data has revealed that there were 15,594 Muslim prisoners in England and Wales in September last year, accounting for 18 per cent of all inmates despite comprising only 6.5 per cent of the population. Of these, 3,096 – 19.9 per cent – were white.

Doesn't sound like a very peaceful religion to be involved with.

We had Muslim neighbours once. She was lovely but suffered with terrible anxiety and she told me a few things which I found disconcerting.

Her house has to be spotless at all times and has to be immaculate for when her husband came home from work.

He had never had the children, two boys, on his own.

The children were not allowed out in the garden unless either she was with them
Or both of them were with them.

They rarely used their garden but if the did the boys would either play football or play killing games where they would be fighting an imaginary 'baddie' and would shout 'Kill, Kill, Kill!' Or 'Die, Die Die!'

The boys were never allowed outside to play.

Shockingly, they had never been to park, never been to woods, forests, country parks, the beach, museums or any other place in the U.K.

They had no pets and she confessed her husband didn't like dogs and would have been livid if the children had petted our dogs!

They stayed indoors but at least once a month would go to Disney in France and had many foreign holidays.

They were extremely wealthy but not remotely ostentatious. Their home was plain and devoid of any personalisation.

The children had no hobbies and but had private tutors.

I asked her if they were a typical Muslim family and she said yes. I don't know if that's true but I found her and her children's lives to be utterly devoid of any joy!

Oh wait, despite their wealth they often went to McDonalds several times during the week!

I think it's a bizarre religion and would absolutely not want to get involved with it.

UnfriendMe · 27/07/2024 18:58

manonwelfling · 27/07/2024 18:41

You do know there's a major difference in law between Islam and all other major religions, right?

The Quran says killing one person is like killing all of humanity, so no, it's the fundamentalists that are the problem, and that's all religions. What about the "pro life" Christians who bomb abortion clinics? Or the Hindus who kill their daughters for having the audacity to love someone they don't approve of? Islam, Christianity, Hinduism, Judaism, they are all just as bad and the only way to evolve as a species is to kill off all that archaic shit. Just about every single atrocity on this planet comes down to religion. So no, there isn't a major difference, they are all horrible.

Candyapplesandhearts · 27/07/2024 18:59

Scattybrain2022 · 27/07/2024 18:45

As a Muslim woman I find some of the comments on this thread so highly offensive. Mumsnet feminists really do only serve the white middle class.
OP you have your answer from this thread. And like me you might be saying goodbye to this judgemental, prejudiced, ignorant forum. Disappointed.

It’s truly is like walking through Katie Hopkins’ mind.

so answer to my question is, yes I am being judged and pitied. Not by a few (thank goodness for those who aren’t jayda franscen wannabes) but the majority

OP posts:
Domoda · 27/07/2024 19:00

Wow some of the shockingly ignorant posts on this thread! Very depressing

UnfriendMe · 27/07/2024 19:00

Bumpitybumper · 27/07/2024 18:56

This is a really valid point that is often overlooked. Islam does not allow for secularism in the way that other religions, most notably Christianity does. I think we are a bit naive in the west about this and how tolerance and acceptance of other people's religious beliefs is possible in all religions when it simply isn't. Many of our traditions are rooted in the Christianity that we now pour scorn on and see as repressive. I think we have become so complacent that these values are universal that we don't see the threat from those that will openly tell us that we can't live in harmony with them whilst holding different religious beliefs.

Just to be clear, I'm not saying all Muslims aren't tolerant or bad people, but that Islam is a fundamentally different religion to Christianity and we need to really educate ourselves about what these differences actually are and how it even if they can be compatible with a liberal, religiously diverse country.

Oh give me a break, there is nothing tolerant about Christianity.

Sleepersausage · 27/07/2024 19:01

I would pity a concert to any religion really. Sorry but I just don't accept that you can convert and truly believe the nonsense you are taught when you've spent most of your life not believing it. And if your doing it for love then no you don't actually believe it and are just faking. Which is also weird.

Bustedpoon · 27/07/2024 19:02

Be honest OP, you expected this response.

Newsenmum · 27/07/2024 19:02

Although I can empathise the comfort others might feel in religion, im not religious myself and don’t think I ever could be. I find someone choosing to convert unusual but I try to be open minded about why.

alldaybreakfastclub · 27/07/2024 19:03

Honestly no judgement nor pity from me.
I'd respect your choice and your faith.
Then we'd talk about the weather or something.
I'm sorry that people are so ignorant OP

AquaFurball · 27/07/2024 19:03

UnfriendMe · 27/07/2024 18:45

Which religion isn't violent and misogynistic?

Can't be certain on the violence but there is a branch of Wicca that worships only Goddesses.

A world full of religions but just like politics its only the big parties that get skin in the game, and they just fight about that too.