Do you judge/ pity converts to Islam?

[Candyapplesandhearts]

Firstly I’m a convert to Islam. White European, so more than likely if you saw me you’d assume I was a convert, plus my name would definitely give the game away.

i live in a metropolitan area where converts are yes rare but not too too share whereby it’s shocking.

well keeping this in mind, I bought a block of sessions for a beauty treatment, and the aesthetician was visibly taken back by me firstly, fine it happens because I wasn’t what she was expecting, with my name and I show up in a headscarf.

but the questions, not only were they pretty inappropriate but also steeped in judgment. I was shocked. I could tell that she wasn’t necessarily being malicious or even hateful, but she clearly had a very pre conceived notion about my motivations and my choices. Ie several questions about my husband and how he made me convert, or as she said ‘become Islamic’, lots on clothing and how she often feels sorry for a lot of Muslim women.

truthfully MN, is this a thing? Deep down are these thoughts people have but maybe don’t voice.

in general even at work I do have questions asked but they are more diplomatically phrased- so now I’m wondering am I actually being judged/ pitied?

Feeling empathy for a woman about to be executed by the Iranian state is unhinged?

I find it hard to understand why

No. Unhinged are the men killing women for not wearing a headscarf exactly as they ( men) think is appropriate.
Unhinged are the religious leaders who encourage FGM.
Unhinged are the men who kidnap girls in Africa and force them into Islam, including child marriage. Boko Haram literally means books are forbidden. Don’t want those girls educated do we? Whatever will they think of next?

There are different variation in practice in Judaism and Christianity as there are in Islam..

There is quite a wide spectrum of views so why would you assume that a convert has the same views as the taliban or the ayatollahs in Iran. I would actually think the opposite!

I would be curious as to your motivations. I would love to have a good, frank, but hopefully respectful delve into why and how. In the same way I wouldn't mind you challenging me on my lack of religion. Would I judge.....possibly, but it after a good old chin wag.

Shes not asking you to join!

All major religions are paternalistic, misogynistic & homophobic.

Therefore, I would struggle to understand why any woman would voluntarily convert to any religion which, by definition, sought to oppress & control her. If some people consider my view to be judgemental, so be it. Obviously, I would respect her choice, unless I had reason to believe she was being coerced.

I haven't the foggiest notion about Islam in the UK and I'm sure there's a lot people who don't either although it doesn't stop them from sounding off.

I don't know any Muslim women well but the ones I do know from work aren't backwards at being forwards so why would I feel sorry for them.

You do you and if anyone asks just tell them what it is about the religion that works for you. If you want to that is.

I don't feel any judgement towards Muslim converts, and definitely no pity. I don't really understand the attraction myself but each to their own.

If I thought you were open to discussing it and we were trapped together in a salon or car share situation, I'd be very interested.

Non-Muslims using "revert" instead of "convert " makes me roll my eyes energetically, though.

Erm there are 1 billion Muslims and given they are in the UK you shouldn't assume they have the same religious practices or views.

Victoria Starmer is Jewish (her mum is a convert) and so is the ultra orthodox in Jerusalem (some of whom burn the israeli flag and arrange marriages for their teen daughters). Wouldn't really call victoria starmer oppressed...

No she doesn't her comment is spot on.

I would be curious, as I often think how glad I am that I WASN'T born into a religion which can be quite oppressive to women. It seems strange to choose it. I'm afraid like a PP I would assume a man led you there, but happy to be corrected.

It seems a bit disingenuous to be so outraged that someone was curious.

FGM is not advocated by any religion and happens to girls of any religion, including Christianity, Islam and Sikh. Also happens to those with no religion.

It is not just ‘Muslims’ who suffer from this terrible practice.

Yes I would think you're doing it for a man. I would be particularly interested though

Wouldn't be*

No, not at all, people are free to practise any religion. If my dd converted it wouldn’t bother me.

There are different streams within the same religion and even within the orthodox streams, women who are trying to change it from within.

My rabbi is a woman and we promote gender equality in my synagogue. We celebrate gay marriages in my synagogue. But even within orthodox judaism, there are women who identify as feminists, who organize their own services where women read from the torah, who fight for women to be trained as clergy..I respect them, they don't need to be liberal just because they are feminists, much better to change from within in a way..

I would absolutely not judge. I would probably be interested but would feel asking questions would be rude (I would feel the same about anyone converting religion btw) as I think Islam is really interesting. I am shocked by the number of people on this thread who are so ignorant- that must be really shit to have to deal with 😢

Don’t think too much into this. Many aestheticians (hairdressers, similar…) tend to be “taken aback” and judgmental AND vocal about far too many things that are none of their business. Like how come you came for an appointment at 2pm, do you have a day off work? You don’t work???? Blah blah I could never… Thanks for letting me know, but I am paying for a service and not opinions.

As for the beautician, I should think, TBH, that there is a slice of the population (who don't read, don't travel, don't move away from their hometown, don't expand their social group etc) who probably are like her on any number of issues.

If you managed to stay polite and teach her a few things, you've done something good for society, TBH.

Some people desperately need their horizons widened.

I feel pity for any person, especially children, girls and women, who have to live within the constraints of any religion.

I would pity you.

Yes I feel sorry for Muslim women.

I went to school in an area with a lot of Muslims.

The teenage boys were very difficult to be around as a white female. They had an arrogance and a presumption that women and girls were inferior and should just get out of their way.

White men can be just as bad but the Muslim boys absolutely believed that they were superior and their word should stand.

Yes I would pity you.

Yes, sorry. I wouldn’t dream of commenting or asking, but I’d assume you had given up your freedom to acquiesce to the wishes of a man, and I’d either feel sorry for you or think you had made a very bad decision.