Today I was told I have cancer. I'm sat alone at home to digest the news

[Scaredandworried98]

DH has gone out, it was planned. He asked if I minded him going. DC don't knowl and are doing own things. I messaged a friend to suggest a chat but she isn't picking up. I had told her today was diagnoses day but she's forgotten. We all have busy lives. I'm not going to tell friends over a message. Im purposely not googling it. I feel helpless waiting for the next hospital appt. Waiting to find out more.

Just wanted a hand hold

I won't sleep tonight. Any recommendations for Netflix/prime binge sets ?

thanks all. Hugs to those who have gone through cancer or are going through it now You all sounds so very strong and I admire you all for that.

I've got my scan results today, The hospital called me this morning to tell me. The scan was 4 days ago. I am now panicking as to why the results are here so quickly. Atm I don't know how I will physically be able to walk into the room. I will take diazepam (I managed to get a prescription, luckily) beforehand.

I feel sick. Physically sick.

@Rainbow1901 yes I am always very negative. I don't cope well if I am ill, and I've only ever had things like flu etc. I have health anxiety, due to the fact my sibling died of cancer aged 20 with no initial symptoms other than mild pins and needles. This was not thyroid cancer though.

EVERYONE is facing a death sentence. Absolutely every single last person on the planet is going to die. Not one person has a guarantee that they won't drop dead tomorrow. Yet we all live with that uncertainty day after day.

OP, I know I sound harsh, but what you're feeling now is not the way you'll be feeling further down the line. You're having a massive existential crisis sparked by this health scare. But it's perfectly possible to live happily even when you know your life might be shorter than average - I know, because I've seen people do it. Not that your life is likely to be shorter. You don't know anything yet, and you're scared, but try not to catastrophise yourself into this kind of state.

Edited: I've just read your update about your sister. I think a lot of unresolved trauma about what happened to her is hitting you now.

Good luck with your scan results. Don’t read anything into it, cancer test results are generally fast tracked. Biopsies take longer just because of the process.
Oncology is much more aware of the anxiety result waiting causes.
In fact despite all the media coverage the NHS backlog has started to reduce rapidly. I recently saw my GP re some symptoms ( not related to my cancer) relating to a long term condition. I had full bloods and they have arranged an MRI and contacted my endocrinologist who made a phone consult within a couple of weeks. The MRI is later this month. It’s not an urgent referral but does suggest that waiting times are much shorter.

I think that once you have a “cancer” label though, you usually get fast tracked.

@Scaredandworried98 the background with your sibling brings perspective to your reaction. I’m not surprised you feel like you do.

Thinking of you this morning. Let us know.

I was told last Friday I have breast cancer. I feel different emotions. Mostly I'm pissed off. I'm only 36. You are not alone lovely, and I hope all goes well. X

Scan results can come through incredibly quickly, or frustratingly slowly, and usually it doesn't reflect the results. I used to think brill, they're quick so they must be clear, then on the next breath, shit that was quick, what have they found? Or, if it was slow, then it was well there's nothing more they can do for me so they are letting me live as long as possible without that knowledge, or, well they're not rushing to tell me so they've not found anything 🤦 There was no right time to get them. BUT whatever those results are, there will be a plan. A plan to get you into a better place. A plan where the NHS will throw as much as it can at it. You need to step in and grab everything. This is from someone who has had to be literally dragged into a neurologist's office and had their fingers prized off a walkway wall to go onto a ward. Keep messaging, we are here and you will get your head around this, but not immediately (which is incredibly normal) x

@Scaredandworried98 Yes most thyroids removed are benign. That doesn’t change the statistics that most thyroid CANCERS are curable. Even the malignant ones. Cancer sucks, but this is probably the best one to get.

I’m so sorry to hear this xxxx

If it’s any help, my sister was diagnosed at 33, triple neg, and is now 22 yrs NED ( full remission). I have as diagnosed at 57 and so far so good. The fear never goes but you learn to live with it. 💐

Christ almighty this is ridiculous. Get your arse out of denial, and stop telling yourself you're going to die!

You won't accept it? Good! You shouldn't. Get the aforementioned arse along to your treatments and scans and set to poisoning the little bastard that has the cheek to think it can live rent free in your Thyroid!

It is not an automatic death sentence. Put some of that energy you're wasting on denying you have it into making your body a very very inconvenient and uncomfortable place to live.

Come on OP! Now the shock is wearing off you're going to need some anger and resilience to keep you going. Time to accept facts and get pissed off! You can do this.

By Christmas you may no longer have cancer if your treatment works. You've already been in the tiny minority once, what are the chances of it happening again? If it does, you should probably post the lottery numbers!

Crikey OP, I'm not surprised you're having an existential crisis given what happened with your sister - and I'm not surprised you have had health anxiety ever since either.

How were the scan results?

I'm really glad you have kept going so far, it must feel really overwhelming but all you can do is just one little bit at a time, taking things day by day or hour by hour where you have to.

I can understand not wanting to talk to anyone but I would definitely look at whether there's anyone professional you could speak to - there won't be many people with such an unusual, traumatic experience in their history that then directly relates to their own diagnosis which is also a very emotive one anyway. I think it explains why you're feeling the way you are but someone with more knowledge than me might be able to take that and translate it in a way that allows you to turn it into some coping mechanisms.

@Rainbow1901 . Very wise words indeed.

thank you for all the continued support.

The scan has largely confirmed no spread. The scan will be looked at by the senior team, to confirm a collaborative decision. I will have surgery in approx 2 weeks to remove the remaining thyroid. Apparently this is a bit more involved than removing the first half. I will have a second scan in 3 months. I may have radiation iodine treatment after that. This could be optional, I will take it if it is. I want any possibility of rogue cells completely gone.

Sending hugs to everyone who is fighting their own battle

Well done, you got there, got into the room and you’ve taken in the info given. Don’t underestimate that!
And please don’t be embarrassed about crying or bawling. You’re meant to do both when shit is going on in your life.
Wishing you all the best going forward. 💐

Sounds encouraging @Scaredandworried98

I'm so pleased for you, for both the result of the scan and for facing your fears. You must be so relieved. Take all the treatment and help you can get and don't forget that there are loads of people on here who care about you and how you are doing.

Well done and care.

No spread is exactly the news you want to hear. This is really encouraging. Step by step. It does get easier.

Really pleased to read this update …Imagine if you didn’t make it to the scan you would still be in limbo land .

focus on the positive .. hopefully all goes smoothly for the Operation

Good news op.

It really is just time. You get used to it. The first little while is definitely the worst.

THIS

And what if you are? You must try to stop thinking these thoughts. When my cancer was diagnosed, my consultant told me that the best way I could help myself was to stay positive, so I am doing that.
Yes, you may be in the larger group, but you may not be. Many things can happen to us in our lives and you are not exempt. You might go shopping and fall under a bus. You will, no doubt, lose loved ones. You might lose all your money. Your house might be struck by lightning, etc. ANYTHING can happen to all of us and it’s often terrifying, but the only way to handle it is head on.
As a fellow cancer sufferer, I feel qualified to tell you to stop crying, stop going on the Internet, and put your trust in the doctors who will be taking care of you. It’s natural to be horrified and terrified when you get the news, and you have to allow time to let it sink in. But then you have tell yourself, ‘There are two ways I can go, either up or down’. I chose ‘up’ and I suggest you do the same.
If this sounds harsh, I apologise but I have no problem with telling you what my consultant told me, that the positive patients are definitely doing better than the negative ones. You are being, (understandably, at this early stage) negative, but there is time for you to change. By the way, unlike yours, my cancer is terminal, but I am lucky in that it can be kept under control for, hopefully, a long time, with monthly hormone injections, which will extend my life. If I can cope, so can you.

That doesn’t help and is a totally pointless and rather cruel comment. If you can’t be supportive, then it might be best to be quiet!

@Scaredandworried98 How are you doing today? We are still thinking about you. To repeat @Ilikeadrink14 if we can do it, so can you.