Today I was told I have cancer. I'm sat alone at home to digest the news

[Scaredandworried98]

DH has gone out, it was planned. He asked if I minded him going. DC don't knowl and are doing own things. I messaged a friend to suggest a chat but she isn't picking up. I had told her today was diagnoses day but she's forgotten. We all have busy lives. I'm not going to tell friends over a message. Im purposely not googling it. I feel helpless waiting for the next hospital appt. Waiting to find out more.

Just wanted a hand hold

I won't sleep tonight. Any recommendations for Netflix/prime binge sets ?

I made the scan. DH took me there and was really supportive. Now I need to wait for the results. I'm petrified.

@UpsyDaisysarmpit ty for your story. This is really helpful.

Please go and ask your doctor for some Valium or anti-anxiety meds. They'll prescribe them short term, and hopefully offer you some urgent mental health support to help with the panic and intrusive thoughts x

@Runsyd I've put a call in for meds. Today I have been beside myself.

Glad you made it ..

Do they offer any support at this point they don’t have all the answers but it’s not surprising you are struggling .

OP, It is terrifying - been there and done that with an 8th year cancerversary coming up next month.
You need change your mindset!! In other words, try not to put the horrors into your mind imagining what will happen. Very often the reality is the total opposite to what your mind has made you believe and much of the treatment is very mundane even if the after effects temporarily may not be.
So get on with life while you wait for the results, sitting doing nothing wont make the waiting time go any quicker so you may as well get on with the hoovering or walking the dog or whatever. You are allowed to have bad days and bright moments.
When I was feeling particularly down a friend said to me - Live each day - when that's too much - live each hour and when that's too much - just live each minute!! You have one life, Live it!!
Hugs and positive thoughts for you.

It sounds to me like a perfectly reasonable response to such shocking news. Your nervous system must be on absolute high alert.

I’m glad you’ve put in a call to your doc.

In the meanwhile try to some grounding/calming exercises such as hugging yourself or tapping. Is it ok if I look for a website about how to calm your vagus nerve?

Splash your face with cold water. These things might help a tiny bit.

I haven’t been on mn for a few days but I’ve just read all your posts and your distress is very worrying. I was diagnosed with cancer last year so I understand.

Please as a matter of urgency go and see your GP. You probably need some medication to calm you. I would also strongly recommend finding a psychologist or counsellor. I’m sorry I’m not in the UK so I don’t know the best way to go about it. My SIL was diagnosed with breast cancer this year and was hospitalised a couple of times with panic attacks. She’s seeing a counsellor who has helped her so much. I did some CBT years ago and those techniques were so helpful for getting my emotions under control and focusing on what I needed to do.

As a general rule I don’t find cancer groups particularly helpful but the cancer support thread here on mn is really lovely, though I appreciate at the moment you can’t bear to join. But there will come a time when it will be nice to chat with people who understand.

Op, your reactions are perfectly normal. From your treatment plan it sounds like you have the fully treatable type of thyroid cancer. When I had a run in with my thyroid ( large colloid cyst appeared overnight) I panicked, but as an HCP I have a bit more accumulated knowledge to create panic. My surgeon laughed at me when I asked about prognosis if it turned out to be cancer, his words “ you will die of old age before thyroid cancer kills you”. There is one form that is not very nice but if they suspected you had it you wouldn’t be waiting 6weeks for surgery and radioactive iodine would not be on your treatment plan.

Its ok to stick you head in the sand at the moment but it is important to attend your next appointment. If you send your DH in and he then tells you that you are going to be fine you will never believe him. You can request that they give you no long term details and to be honest they will never promise anything. But it will help you to hear your diagnosis.
You can request to record the appointment, this helps when you have stopped listening. In addition there is generally a huge team ready to support you, including a psychologist/therapist, you can ask for a referral. It will be a lot quicker than a GP referral.

Well done for getting the scan done. I’m proud of you.

So pleased you managed to get to the scan and ask a doctor for some medicine. I'm really impressed that in spite of how you're feeling inside you're powering forwards and have done what needed to be done.

I think uncertainty is often the worst, hopefully once they have done the rest of the investigations and you can see what is coming things will seem more manageable. But it's also totally allowed to be freaked out - this level of medical uncertainty + treatment isn't something we're at all used to dealing with and that takes a massive toll on us.

@Apolloneuro sure x

OP have you been assigned to the MacMillan nursing service ? I have a number l can ring for them and they’ve proved invaluable when l was panicking or l just needed to talk to someone not emotionally involved. Waiting for test results is the hardest part. It’s such a shock when you get a diagnosis and the initial investigations can be very scary - there’s a lot of uncertainty and waiting around at the start and you’ll feel as though you’re in limbo a bit. Cancer takes away your sense of security at first - you feel that nothing is certain and there are no guarantees. But you’ll ride that feeling out and you’ll feel a lot better when you get a clearer overall picture, and there’s a treatment plan in place.

You’re doing really well, you just need a bit of help to stay calm and meds will so that.

@Rosscameasdoody I was given the diagnosis (alone) and then just left when the appt finished. No further support offered. I was just left to my own devices.

I don't think I want to contact Mcmillan. That would then be admitting that I have cancer. And I don't. They found cancerous cells in a lump they removed.

Very often the reality of a situation is not as bad as you imagine it to be. You got through the scan and when you get the results you can deal with them. Take each part of the process as it comes. In between times try to keep things as normal as they can be. Obviously when you are having the treatment you will be restricted but for the rest of the time try to keep to a routine. Everyday mundane things like the washing and ironing, planning and making meals etc. will help to stop you dwelling on everything else. You need to try to compartmentalise what is going on so that it is just a part of your life and not your whole life although you might need to get professional help to do that. Rather than asking for drugs to help you cope ask your GP, specialist or nurse if there are any natural products you can take instead. I know of a few but it is important that you ask someone who is already dealing with your treatment to make sure that the ingredients won't interact with what you are taking or going to be taking.

I hope today is a better day.

I’m saying this to try to make you smile, but this makes you like Princess Catherine, so I think it makes you beautiful, loved and strong.

(Please resist from posting anything about disparity of treatment etc - this is a light hearted attempt to make the OP smile a bit)

just been confirmed as follicular thyroid

@Apolloneuro 🤗 she is one stunning lady

I have also just been prescribed diazepam and anti depressants and sent a link to arrange CBT

Well done for saying that out loud.

Are you feeling any better this morning?

@Apolloneuro I've managed to get up for the first time in several days and log onto work (at home). Cant eat, don't want to, no appetite, I haven't cried yet today.

No idea how the hell I am going to face the scan results. No appt arranged for that as yet.

By then, my love, you will a nice amount of meds in your system, to help you.

I think it’s a good idea to try to work a bit and don’t worry about not eating, but do make sure you have plenty to drink xxx

ps do check whether your meds need to be taken with food. Don’t want to add nausea to your troubles!

Thank you to everyone for your replies. They are really helping me

Sending lots of love and hugs, OP.

It's heartwarming to hear positive stories 😍.