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Autistic women assemble! #4

408 replies

RainbowZebraWarrior · 18/07/2024 20:35

This is a thread for autistic women to connect, chat, vent, laugh, share and seek advice and solidarity (small talk and word mincing not required). 😊

Any autistic women newly finding the thread are very welcome to join us (even if awaiting diagnosis) but we'd be grateful if others could leave us alone please…

Previous threads:

Thread 3:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4979068-autistic-women-assemble-3?reply=136877684

Thread 2:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4865805-autistic-women-assemble-2

Thread 1:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4777843-autistic-women-assemble

Page 40 | Autistic women assemble! #3 | Mumsnet

This is a thread for autistic women to connect, chat, vent, laugh, share and seek advice and solidarity (small talk and word mincing not required). 😊...

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4979068-autistic-women-assemble-3?reply=136877684

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
JewelleryCat · 04/09/2025 12:08

Nepmarthiturn · 04/09/2025 09:26

Hi everyone!

How are things going? The thread’s been very quiet so I hope that’s a sign everyone is blissfully happy not overwhelmed and in shut down! 🫣😆

Kids went back to school today. Awful for them. The long summer holiday is the best time of year when they can really relax and be themselves without all the stress of the awful school environment. It went much too fast!

I forgot about this thread lol. Things are ok, just quiet as usual. How was summer for you? I’m sure they’ll get back into a school routine quickly though it won’t be long until half term

InMySpareTime · 04/09/2025 12:31

Nepmarthiturn · 04/09/2025 09:26

Hi everyone!

How are things going? The thread’s been very quiet so I hope that’s a sign everyone is blissfully happy not overwhelmed and in shut down! 🫣😆

Kids went back to school today. Awful for them. The long summer holiday is the best time of year when they can really relax and be themselves without all the stress of the awful school environment. It went much too fast!

I’ve had a fairly busy summer with one thing and another. Moved both DCs to new flats, spent 9 days unsupervised when DH went away for a camp (I did eight 1000-piece jigsaws, repainted the skirting boards and varnished the floor).
Got another assessor to look at my ADHD inconclusive diagnosis (first wouldn’t proceed without childhood “hard evidence” that doesn’t exist) and the new assessor spent ages getting me to talk about my childhood.
Long story shortish, I now have a proper ADHD diagnosis to go with my Autism one.

JewelleryCat · 14/01/2026 06:30

I didn’t realise it hasn’t been posted on since September. How did everyone cope with Halloween then Christmas?

How is everyone doing now we are in 2026?

InMySpareTime · 14/01/2026 07:03

Hi @JewelleryCat I’ve just been plodding on. Had very little work, but plenty to do at home.
MIL moved into a care home so we’ve been helping her adjust to that, and helping FIL adjust to living alone for the first time in his life.
Got the flu in December so Christmas was very quiet as I usually plan everything and couldn’t this time.
Also December, saw a rat in the kitchen (it ran past my bare feet at 5am!) so had to call in pest control. It was definitely only one, and it’s definitely dead now, but I got The Fear so DH had to run interference on the kitchen every time I needed to go in there. He set up a kettle and toaster in the living room so I could eat and drink during the day without going in the kitchen.
He also pulled all the appliances out, found a hole, and stuffed poison, wire wool and expanding foam in any hole large enough to feasibly allow anything through.
We took everything out of the kitchen,thoroughly checked and cleaned it, and now anything that’s not tins or jars is in cupboards and rat proof boxes.
Nothing is in quite the right place and I’m still not quite used to the change, but I’m able to use the kitchen again, and DH has been great throughout.

JewelleryCat · 14/01/2026 08:37

Oh my goodness @InMySpareTime that sounds awful

Does your FIL visit MIL often? That might help him if he can see she’s ok in the care home, joining in with activities if she can etc and help him adjust to living alone

Seems like everyone is getting some sort of winter illness, I hope the flu has gone now and you can rest. A rat? I’m glad there was just one and I completely get the fear but unfortunately I have no one to check first when my phobias come into the house (not saying you have a phobia) and your DH sounds amazing

InMySpareTime · 14/01/2026 10:50

@JewelleryCatthe care home is only 10 minutes from their house so FIL visits MIL three times a week, and a friend visits twice a week plus other visitors so she sees people nearly every day.
FIL let a lot of things slide while he was sole carer for MIL who has Alzheimer’s.
We’re mostly helping him catch up with house admin, making sure he eats and sleeps well and encouraging him to reconnect with a wider social circle now he knows MIL is well cared for.

JewelleryCat · 14/01/2026 11:10

@InMySpareTime I can imagine being a carer is very hard work so he does in to make sure his wellbeing is of importance now which will help and sounds like what you and your husband are doing 🙂

Neuronimo · 14/01/2026 12:45

We have had a solitary rat and mice here too, so I totally get the fear. I used to be the same with spiders. I think it is the sudden movement and unexpected presence. I could hear mice at our last house, but the pest control chap said that is it absolutely impossible to hear field mice as they are so tiny. My family convinced me that they were 3am phantom mice, as no one else could hear them. They made a lovely nest in the loft in a computer box and had shredded some spare toilet rolIs, as if they were corn on the cob. I think once you can see a resolution and the process of getting rid of them, it it is slightly less scary.

We had quite a sad and difficult Christmas as my Dad has advanced dementia and COPD. He spent five weeks in hospital between Sept and Nov, which was pretty harrowing. Mum is fine mentally but quite physically disabled.

We did have a lovely build up to Christmas, with crafts, quiet walks, baking and a trip on a steam train, all of which were lovely and manageable. I am feeling better now the light is returning and the chaos of Christmas is over.

Happy New Year to you all!

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