Men staring at my 12.5 year old daughter

[AutismHelp1980]

My daughter is 12.5, she honestly looks 12.5, she’s about 5ft, petite and has started puberty. What I can’t get over she is just walking along with me; totally oblivious to the world but the number of grown men, I’m not talking young men I mean men in their 30s,40s even 50s giving her the once over is making my blood boil.

I know it’s not something I should point out but she’s still a shorts and tshirt, no make up etc child: and they still stare,

What do I do about this? I want to kill the dirty bastards and shout she’s 12 at them.

I found that British tradesmen on building sites are the worst for this.

Even the worst Brit isn't a patch on German men though

OP it’s an awful experience probably more so for your daughter than for you.
I can remember really distinctly sitting with my mum getting her hair done as we were off on holiday to Italy. I was 10, quite tall, with long frizzy hair and braces.
And the hairdresser says…
You’re not taking your daughter are you, she won’t be safe.
I was terrified on holiday, wouldn’t go in the pool and took my dowdiest clothes.
When I started getting stared and called at by the age of 12, I was like Olive Oyl still. And then my mum said…
And so it begins, you just have to get used to it.
It is a long time ago now and while some things change, this doesn’t. Boys our own age used to stare at girls who looked older. It was older mean staring at girls who look very young what was/is creepy.
However, I hated that I lived in fear of it, and that bland ‘get on with it’ attitude.
As her mum, give out a few death stares. However, I think for your DD just continue to support her being exactly who she is and to be proud of herself.
Of course it’s not right but I wish I’d been shown to walk a bit taller around it. I’m not sure if this is good advice or not, so I’m sure not everyone will agree.

Yes men are disgusting. It’s fortunate hand guns are illegal or I would have taken a few of them out by now.

Had it myself (vile comments / leering / flashed at) now my dds subjected to it. If anyone finds the answer bar living in an all female society and putting men in a compound I would love to hear it.

It’s fortunate hand guns are illegal or I would have taken a few of them out by now.

Don't you mean "unfortunate"? I think that men should fear that the woman they harass, or another woman who see the harassment, might shoot them. Women being disarmed means that male predators can act with impunity.

French men are pretty low on the list too. I got full on flashed at one day then wanked at the next. I was a gawky 14 year old in a tracksuit hardly a femme fatale 🙄

Dd2 aged 13 was verbally sexually harassed on a bus. A lovely twenty something woman stepped in and her and the driver threw him off the bus.

I’ve stood in front of my dd before blocking the view when men were ogling and I loudly called them peados and perverts. That’s what they are. Scum.

Dd2 aged 13 was verbally sexually harassed on a bus. A lovely twenty something woman stepped in and her and the driver threw him off the bus.

❤💯

Way back when ,probably 1940s .DM went to the cinema with DGM .Around 14/15 mark .She had big boobs, and suffered from leery old men looking at them .As the film started,a man with a rolled up umbrella. started pushing Mums skirt up further ,she told Nan who stood up and screamed "you filthy beast" at him! The lights went up and the manager came out.the "filthy beast " disappeared of course! Disappointing to find little has changed .Lets hope things improve with equal rights for women and girls

Your daughter might surprise you. When I had that conversation with my eldest, much too late really thinking back because she didn’t notice them and I didn’t want to bring it up - anyway when I finally did she said ‘that sounds like a them problem, not a me problem’ and continued being herself. She seemed really blasé about it whereas I used to tie myself in knots over it.
I think the difference is she knows she isn’t the problem, they were. Whereas when I was young it was very much seen as the girl causing it

Why on earth didn't he call out her name first?

No one should approach anyone from behind and touch them- that's just daft.

That's why in the old days and still in some places women and girls were escorted around by their men. I'm not saying it's the way it should be simply pointing out that back in the day they understood how men would behave around vulnerable girls if they thought they could get away with it. I don't know what's more regressive - living in a society where you can't leave the house without your husband or living in a society that ignores the obvious differences between men and women and allows men to waltz in to women's spaces putting them in danger.

as when I was young it was very much seen as the girl causing it

I know: being treated like I'd asked for predatory male behaviour by existing as female who had involuntarily grown large breasts.

"That sounds like a him problem" doesn't stop the harassment but it will minimise the mental damage it does.

lmfao imagine thinking this, you fucking clown.

Keep Ronald's name out of your mouth. Just thought it was hilarious you think Englishmen are gallant and proper enough not to leer at children. I can assure you, they're all capable of it, no matter where they're from.

I remember this well from when I was younger. It made me so self conscious. There’s a good poster up on the London Underground now, apologies if it’s already been brought up.

It's disgusting, I have a 13 year old DD and have noticed this for about the last year. She did start going through puberty at about 11 and she could probably pass for 15 at a push but definitely looks under 16.
I just despair that things are no better than they were when I was a teenager.

Well he should be more aware then, you don't touch a woman/girl from behind even if it's completely innocent because unfortunately women are extremely aware of the threat of being assaulted.
I remember being out in town when I was an 12 and a man grabbed my arm, I turned around and it was just my grandad but I remember in those few seconds being completely terrified

There are some seriously concerning replies on here minimising this behaviour.

my daughter is 12 and I have also noticed it for well over a year. It’s fucking disgusting. It’s good to talk about on here and know that it isn’t just us. It helps. It makes me so mad.

There isn't a specific profile of men as far as I've seen, its boys and men from 15 to 100 white, black, brown, and every ethnicity and culture available. There are degenerates in every demographic.

I highly recommend this book !

@MNHQ When a post starts with "A Modest Proposal" in big letters, it's surely obvious that it's a reference to Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal satire in which he suggested that Irish Potato Family victims ate their children.

Satires are not a handbook on how to deal with a problem but are presented as an absurd solution to provoke serious thought as to what a serious solution might look like. Actually carrying out state-mandated sex-selective abortion of male embryos would never meet human rights laws granting women autonomy about their own bodies, for starters. I expected readers to be smart enough to recognise this.

Whilst on about sex-selective abortion, I'd like to remind people that despite it being outlawed, Indian women still attend illegal sex determination scans and abort their daughters. Get upset about that. Get upset about paedos ogling teen girls. Don't get upset by an obvious satire on an online forum.

My daughter sees those cute little outfits on Tiktok and elsewhere wanting to wear them, the kids early teen tween clothes are too childish or too outrageous and I had to explain to her about men and predators. She is now with lipgloss, mascara and a t shirt tucked into baggy jeans and getting leering looks from men. She is 5ft tall and slim build so I feel for taller girls or who are more voluptuous at an early age as I was like that and remember harassment very early. I was even sexually assaulted at a supermarket in my school uniform aged 7 and the man was over 50 years old so, yeah it's hard not to hate all men. I remember wishing my baby is a boy, not because they don't face harms and challenges but because I knew what it's like to grow up female and the constant sexualisation and scrutiny of everything we do or don't do with our lives. I wish i was a man.