Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

AIBU: sex offender at my social gathering

288 replies

HoppyFish · 15/07/2024 18:36

Hi folks. Not sure this is the best place to post this but I value your advice. I have been going to a nice life drawing session for years. Nothing sexual about it, it's more of a social gathering, with music, a cuppa, bit of food, and drawing/painting with fellow artists. However, there's a man, in his sixties, not a professional artist, who makes me uneasy. He is always quick to befriend any young female attendees or models, and invites them to his studio or home for photoshoots (for portrait work) and possibly painting. I suppose some people would describe him as a 'creep'. He never asks males, middle-aged or older women. He also sometimes stops drawing early, moves position, and sits staring at the model (when female) as if in a trance. Now, I suppose there is nothing wrong in any of this - an amateur artist wanting to paint portraits maybe wants to specialise in young females. And maybe when staring at the model without drawing he is simply studying anatomy or light and shadow. Anyway, my uneasiness led me to do a little online research on him, and I have discovered that he was jailed for downloading indecent images and mainly videos of children, levels 1 (most serious) to 5, involving men having sex with girls, aged between 2 and 9. He was jailed for a year and spent 10 years on the register. I expect he came off the register around four years ago. I think I am the only one who knows this, and it makes me feel even more uneasy about him. But is there anything to be concerned about? All the models and attendees at the life drawing session are over eighteen. I suppose I should just let him get on with his hobby, but I can't help continuing to feel uneasy, especially when I see him swapping numbers with every new young woman who he encounters. I expect they are impressed by the 'portrait artist' wanting to paint them, but I wonder if they would be keen to pose for him if they knew what I knew, and if they knew he never seems to produce any finished paintings? Am I being unreasonable? Thanks for your time.

OP posts:
Sofuk · 15/07/2024 18:41

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

ImNotThereAmI · 15/07/2024 18:41

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

Agree with this

TheHighPriestess1 · 15/07/2024 18:42

As PP, expose the POS

MounjaroUser · 15/07/2024 18:43

Completely agree with this. Talk to the teacher in private and if she/he won't co-operate, talk to the others.

Scarletttulips · 15/07/2024 18:43

Who runs the class? Speak to them. They may have concerns but not joined the dots.

OhHelloMiss · 15/07/2024 18:44

He served his time

What do you think people will say or do if you tell them? Thank you? Ban him?

You're likely to come across as a gossip and could find yourself in trouble yourself.

TingeOGinge · 15/07/2024 18:44

Email the articles and proof anonymously to whoever runs the group. Set up a new email if need be.

Sandyankles · 15/07/2024 18:45

If need be, print what you’ve found and leave it on the desk / office of whoever runs the class.

Borgonzola · 15/07/2024 18:46

Men don't have sex with girls under 16, they rape them. He's a rapist and as someone who has unfortunately got experience in this game, I'd not have anything to do with him or anyone who spent time with him ever again.

palomatoast · 15/07/2024 18:46

You need to tell the people running the class and get him kicked out. It's totally inappropriate. I used to go to life drawing but I've stopped now because there were a couple of men there who made me feel really uncomfortable. I didn't have any evidence of wrong doing but I just got the strong sense they were there in a voyeuristic way. It's such an obvious opportunity for a pervert to get their rocks off so your post really doesn't surprise me.

TingeOGinge · 15/07/2024 18:46

OhHelloMiss · 15/07/2024 18:44

He served his time

What do you think people will say or do if you tell them? Thank you? Ban him?

You're likely to come across as a gossip and could find yourself in trouble yourself.

No sorry.

Doesn't sit with me. If we were talking shoplifting or fraud, then yes.

But a sex offender is very, very rarely rehabilitated and the behaviour he exhibits that promted her to check up on him proves he is still a complete weirdo.

This is about safety.

What if he follows a model home after seeing her in the nudes in classes??

SwanRivers · 15/07/2024 18:46

TingeOGinge · 15/07/2024 18:44

Email the articles and proof anonymously to whoever runs the group. Set up a new email if need be.

Do this but not anonymously.

There's absolutely no need, as it's perfectly ok to be a genuinely concerned attendee.

TingeOGinge · 15/07/2024 18:47

SwanRivers · 15/07/2024 18:46

Do this but not anonymously.

There's absolutely no need, as it's perfectly ok to be a genuinely concerned attendee.

No. I would stay anonymous.

Not because it's wrong to out him but because I wouldn't want this man to inadvertently find out it was me that exposed him. He sounds dangerous.

FannyPowder · 15/07/2024 18:48

OhHelloMiss · 15/07/2024 18:44

He served his time

What do you think people will say or do if you tell them? Thank you? Ban him?

You're likely to come across as a gossip and could find yourself in trouble yourself.

Fuck that.

He's a rapist and paedophile.

catin8oots · 15/07/2024 18:48

Sounds like his conviction is now spent. And he is not on the SOR. And he isn't participating in regulated activity with children or vulnerable adults.

What's the problem?

KateDelRick · 15/07/2024 18:49

FannyPowder · 15/07/2024 18:48

Fuck that.

He's a rapist and paedophile.

This.

BobbyBiscuits · 15/07/2024 18:50

This is grim. And the reason why I stopped life modelling. You need to raise it with the course leader as it's a safeguarding issue.
I used to live model aged 18, it started off fine but once I was on the database I'd get calls from people I really did not trust. At that time there was no safeguarding or anything, just turn up and get your kit off.
I doubt anyone would consent to getting naked next to a child sex offender? The others have a right to know. And surely if everyone objects then he's kicked out?

KateDelRick · 15/07/2024 18:50

These classes seem to be magnets for these sorts of men. I know of two friends who've stopped going to life drawing classes because of the men attendees.

Hedgeoffressian · 15/07/2024 18:51

He was jailed for just a year for raping girls between 2 and 9???? Sorry but I don’t believe that. I call BS.

Sofuk · 15/07/2024 18:51

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

TingeOGinge · 15/07/2024 18:51

catin8oots · 15/07/2024 18:48

Sounds like his conviction is now spent. And he is not on the SOR. And he isn't participating in regulated activity with children or vulnerable adults.

What's the problem?

What's wrong with a convicted sex offender sitting in on a class with nude models and displaying predatory behaviour towards the young females in attendance?

Really?

The models should at least be informed the is a convicted SO in the class so they can choose whether to pose still.

I know I wouldn't.

palomatoast · 15/07/2024 18:51

catin8oots · 15/07/2024 18:48

Sounds like his conviction is now spent. And he is not on the SOR. And he isn't participating in regulated activity with children or vulnerable adults.

What's the problem?

The problem is that at life drawing there's an implicit level of trust between the model and the artists. That trust is based on the understanding that the attendees are there to hone their skills and not to ogle someone's tits or bum. I highly doubt any model would want to take part if they knew there was a child sex offender in attendance.

TingeOGinge · 15/07/2024 18:52

Hedgeoffressian · 15/07/2024 18:51

He was jailed for just a year for raping girls between 2 and 9???? Sorry but I don’t believe that. I call BS.

Read it again.

Those were the videos he downloaded.

Hedgeoffressian · 15/07/2024 18:54

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

It’s the latest trend isn’t it? Certain people seeking to minimise the behaviour of scummy p-dos. They are trying to promote the term ‘minor-attracted individuals’. It’s disgusting. Next thing you know they will introduce a hate crime law protecting them.

HoppyFish · 15/07/2024 18:54

Wow, thanks for your messages so far. Plenty to think about. Just to be clear, it was downloading of images, so I believe he is a paedophile, but not a rapist. Although downloading that material obviously helps keeps that awful exploitation of children going.

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread