AIBU: sex offender at my social gathering

[HoppyFish]

Hi folks. Not sure this is the best place to post this but I value your advice. I have been going to a nice life drawing session for years. Nothing sexual about it, it's more of a social gathering, with music, a cuppa, bit of food, and drawing/painting with fellow artists. However, there's a man, in his sixties, not a professional artist, who makes me uneasy. He is always quick to befriend any young female attendees or models, and invites them to his studio or home for photoshoots (for portrait work) and possibly painting. I suppose some people would describe him as a 'creep'. He never asks males, middle-aged or older women. He also sometimes stops drawing early, moves position, and sits staring at the model (when female) as if in a trance. Now, I suppose there is nothing wrong in any of this - an amateur artist wanting to paint portraits maybe wants to specialise in young females. And maybe when staring at the model without drawing he is simply studying anatomy or light and shadow. Anyway, my uneasiness led me to do a little online research on him, and I have discovered that he was jailed for downloading indecent images and mainly videos of children, levels 1 (most serious) to 5, involving men having sex with girls, aged between 2 and 9. He was jailed for a year and spent 10 years on the register. I expect he came off the register around four years ago. I think I am the only one who knows this, and it makes me feel even more uneasy about him. But is there anything to be concerned about? All the models and attendees at the life drawing session are over eighteen. I suppose I should just let him get on with his hobby, but I can't help continuing to feel uneasy, especially when I see him swapping numbers with every new young woman who he encounters. I expect they are impressed by the 'portrait artist' wanting to paint them, but I wonder if they would be keen to pose for him if they knew what I knew, and if they knew he never seems to produce any finished paintings? Am I being unreasonable? Thanks for your time.

I'd possibly consider telling the police as well to be honest. You absolutely never know they may go and drop in and have a quiet word with him. That's quite possible. They should be aware in any case as they may have other dots to join up about this man.

Oh my god. Having been a life model, I’m begging you to please make this known so the models can be aware. It’s a vulnerable job as it is.
ugh , horrific

Because that is the law. Also, if as she says, she saw his conviction reported on something like a local newspaper website then they likely reported that as well.

For a person sent to prison for more than 6 months but less than 30 months the law says that they are subject to the notification requirements for ten years from the date of their conviction.

He served his time" are you having a bubble? I don't think when dealing with someone who literally gets off on watching babies being RAPED can ever do their time. They're fucked up for life and usually go on to do similar things themselves. It's a shame he didn't get done in prison tbh.

I've been to MANY life drawing sessions, and they have all been absolutely fine

I believe you, OP, but then despite the MN thing of there being a paedophile on every street that's probably because those there were all normal decent folk

Unfortunately this man isn 't, so you're doing the right thing in bringing this to the attention of others

Mens club isn't it.

Ffs. I have a renewed sense of that the world isn't a bad place then read this thread.

So glad you stood firm. Shame on the authorities. Don't be surprised one if there is a knock at your door to help the police with their criminal investigation because he will definitely have one in the future.

"Kinder thing to do" what the actual f?!

He is a rapist as well as other things. He doesn't get to have any kindness. He forfeited that right when he committed his crimes.

He deserves to rot away in prison. And not one of our country's nice ones where he has tv and privileges. I mean in Thailand or wherever.

He is disgusting.

This! Thank god someone sane.

Oh, God, that's awful. Must have been so distressing for you, and ultimately, these vulnerable women.

"The kinder thing to do"

Yes, it's important to be kind to a POS who paid to watch children being raped.

FFS.

Exactly
”The benefit of the doubt” is the stupid wishy-washy nonsense that enables every abuser.

THIS 👍👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

In some, very limited, situations there is. But, generally speaking, no.

Perhaps the main area to consider is data protection and GDPR. If, as part of your work, you come across details of an employee or an applicant that shows that they have a spent conviction and you then go round telling people about that then, yes, you are breaking the Data Protection Act

In other situations it is up to the ex-offender to bring a defamation claim. If it can be shown that the person has been publishing this information (eg on social media or otherwise) out of malice towards the ex-offender then they would liable for damages.

If you are telling others about a spent conviction and doing it to cause the ex-offender embarrassment and upset or to harm their reputation then they can sue you for defamation.

In a similar manner, there is a "right to be forgotten" on Google and other search engines. Back in 2014 the European Court of justice ruled that there is a "right to be forgotten" that applies to spent convictions.

So ex-offenders can apply to Google and other search engines to have any links to their names removed from searches within the UK or EU relating to spent convictions.

Have you ever been? It would be odd if you weren't an artist. What do you like to do in your spare time?

well in the UK I understand we banned capital punishment in 1998 which does preclude the kindest thing.

There's an argument that he should suffer constantly, and another argument that if we're not going to kill people then we need to let them rehabilitate (if only to give them something to loose so they'll behave).

either way the important thing is to get him out of that class in a way that keeps OP and classmates safe.

Thanks again all. I know what I'm going to do. I think he has spoilt our session and is stopping some people going, including myself. He won't be coming to any more sessions, and he won't be having any more contact with the models/attendees he has met at the sessions. I am not 'outing' him to everybody though.

And more importantly, I'm obviously concerned about the safety of his 'models', and concerned that they are modelling for him without knowledge of his past. And although they are modelling for portraits, who knows what asks them to do in the privacy of his place, especially if he is paying them.

Agree OP. I think it's the responsible thing to do

No one has mentioned capital punishment; nor has anyone argued that anyone should “suffer constantly” This thread is about keeping young female models (and any children they may have) safe from a sex offender, so yes he needs to be kept away.

As for rehabilitation, it’s not the responsibility of the general public to rehabilitate sex offenders and paedophiles, and it is certainly NOT incumbent upon anyone to be kind to those whose actions are responsible for the rape of children.

Sorry to post this if everyone already knows but I've unfortunately worked caring for pedophiles with physical disabilities or intellectual disabilities and just some that were too old to be independent.

A few things I'd like to point out because I had no idea prior to meeting these men some of these things, again I apologise if its very obvious, it just want to me.

Paedophiles don't only get sexually aroused by children, some might but often they can have sex with their adult partners and whilst they have this dark sinister depraved aspect to their nature, it isn't just children, often it's other forms of deviancy, hence why beastiality is often recovered with child sex abuse images.

There are people who are Paedophiles who will never look at indecent images of children or abuse a child and struggle with their desires, however once a Paedophile does view images or molest a child rehabilitation is highly unlikely.

Like rape it can often be a power play, wanting to hurt someone vulnerable sexually, just because this man in the OP has form for children, he may also enjoy the power that he holds over a life model, there is a certain vulnerability to her being naked whilst he isn't, I don't doubt that would cause some sexual pleasure.

Paedophiles in my experience have not just had a predilection for children but have enjoyed pushing boundaries in other ways. One of the men I looked after who was a convicted Paedophile would regularly cover himself in his own faeces and then ring his buzzer and would get gratification from the staff having to clean him as he was too disabled to do it himself. He would also do it especially when younger staff were on shift so the older women or male staff would ideally go and clean him up, however they weren't always on shift and he would save it up for when young staff were on as he'd memorised shift patterns.

People with depraved sexual interests aren't just a risk to children, as much as they're the most vulnerable, they're not the only potential victims around predators.

I think we should follow our instincts more and look out for everyone more.

Thanks.

Churches are pretty hot on this - and rightly so considering past upsets.

My experience is in the C of E. All staff, both voluntary and paid, are DBS cleared. We, in the PCC, are required to have been on safeguarding courses and we have a designated person to report incidents and worries too. Their picture and title is on the notice board for others to see.

Should a Church not comply it'll be in trouble with the diocese.

Sadly this is of little help in this thread's case as the would be artists visiting are simply clients.

Thank you for posting this.

Not the main topic, but in the Netherlands the Dutch Olympic committee let a convicted child rapist on their team because "he served his time and he seems sowwy." Majority of the committee are women FFS.

Of course he seems sorry… he won’t be allowed to do stuff if he doesn’t. I despair!

I came to say similar to @Lwrenn .
Paraphilias cluster, and the sort of person who would watch footage of children being raped is a bad, selfish person with a skewed moral compass. So not only is he a risk to the children of anyone he befriends (reason enough to act). But he is also a risk to other women/vulnerable.
The idea that "a paedophile wouldn't be interesting adults" isn't true. A paedophile is much more likely to sexually assault adult women or hurt adults not less.