I threw water on husband 😭

[Purplegurl]

Hey mums 😭 so, I’m normally a very calm natured person and it’s very unlike me to lash out or ever be violent in any way. However, this morning I was just super tired (as per with a baby) and my husband and I do sometimes have disagreements over who will pick up/soothe baby back to sleep when she gets up in the early hours, but it’s usually very mild and as I’m the breastfeeding parent it’s usually a no brainer 😂 On this occasion, baby had been changed and fed and put back to bed (by me) but didn’t seem to settle so she began to fuss and cry again, so I thought I’d let her perhaps self soothe for a short while…my husband must have been annoyed/frustrated by this and started playing loud music - he was basically trying to play music whilst the baby was crying so that I would get up to stop the baby fussing because the music was blasting in my ear - almost trying to create an analogy that playing music loudly is the same as a baby crying and that once the baby stopped, he would stop - at least I think this was what he was trying to do 🤷🏾‍♀️ so I was asking him to stop and he refused and I could feel the tension building up and I was really starting to get upset, I even tried taking the phone away and slid it under the bed, but he took it and continued the loud music, I then tried to grab the phone but couldn’t prise it out of his hands and at this point I was fuming 😭 in that fit of rage I saw my water bottle and threw the contents onto him 😭😭

I’m disappointed in myself because this is soooo unlike me - honestly, if I told anyone they’d be super shocked 😳 don’t know whether it’s just a combination of tiredness/responsibilities/etc - anyone been through something similar? I’d also like to add that before bursting into a fit of rage, I had also started to play some music (almost in a retaliatory manner) but I quickly realised it was pointless and super loud having two phones blasting out music and disturbing baby so I turned mine off🥺 (his volume was louder anyways) anyways that’s besides the point, I still feel disappointed in myself and immature…

🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

No excuse for what you did but it sounds like he was abusing you trying to use sleep deprivation.

Im sorry but he deserved that. He sounds like a dick

Immature is blasting music to irritate someone else because you can't be a parent and do your share of looking after your child.

Grow up the pair of you and get on with it. The baby needed seeing to and you two were having a ridiculous squabble.

Single parents manage to deal with babies on their own so this tit for tat behaviour is stupid.

never mind the water - what are you going to do about the relationship?

Good for you, he’s pathetic.

Both sound incredibly immature.

I think throw him out rather than the bottle if he’s so aggy about getting up to attend to his own child. Blasting loud music whilst your baby is crying? Ugh. What an absolute prick.

In my everyday life, I would get up and walk away.

Add a young baby and sleep deprivation to the mix and I very well might grab something and chuck it if someone had started taunting me.

He sounds like an absolute arsehole.

YANBU - what a nasty person he is.

How did he react?

You both sound like you’re about 12, both blasting music, tussling over the phone chucking water. Grow up the pair of you.

You’re right, I feel like a right idiot

You’re describing a toxic relationship.

1. He sounds like a selfish prick.

2. Throwing water at someone for any reason is unacceptable and probably classed as assault.

Those two separate things can be true. The big issue is how he views looking after his own child and how the two of you interact in the presence of this child.

If this is not unusual behaviour from him then he’s a shit dad and you should leave him because life will be easier without the dead weight around. And yes, you probably think you love him etc but he clearly doesn’t give a shit about you if that’s how he acts instead of stepping up and actually parenting his own child when you’re a breastfeeding mum, literally giving yourself to your child day in day out.

What would you have done in my situation?

Talked like a proper grown up. That doesn't seem to be an option in your poll though which probably speaks volumes.

He did what!? Instead of tending to his baby he got his phone out, opened an app and started blasting music in your ear?

What a joke. The sheer nastiness of that action from him would have me contemplating things seriously.

Throwing water is wrong and if that's massively out of character for you it's another reason to contemplate.

You two need a serious talk to work out how to handle differences moving forward

He didn’t react - he just stayed in bed and I went downstairs with my tail between my legs so to speak. Errrgh these comments are making me realise things I never really considered 😭😭 but I know he’s gonna probably hold a grudge 😭

Can I just ask. Are you scared of him ?

The thing posts like this fail to consider is that the situation is not equal.

OP does most night wakes and had already dealt with LO and was trying leaving LO to settle. Her dick head H didn't reflect any of this is his response but instead threw a strop that baby was making noise, escalating the situation for no benefit to anyone.

OP might be worth discussing tactics once you've both calmed down but tbh unless there are mitigating circumstances and this was an uncharacteristic one-off, I think your partner is beginning to show you who he is so you might be wise thinking about a longer term exit plan

I’m fully aware the workload isn’t equal. However the point remains it is incredibly juvenile to be both blasting out music from their phones, tussling over it, and chucking water. If you can’t see that then fine.

@Jakethekid um, I don’t think scared is the right word. I do respect him, I think

He sounds unsupportive. You sound at the end of your tether. Hopefully it's just adjusting to new situation and he's not normally like y

Mmm, obviusly, this is not great behaviour on your part. But I'd put money on this being a much more complex situation than is shown here.

Who normally does the bulk of the night wakings?
Does he take on his share of the parenting load?
Are you on maternity leave, and if so, how are finances?
If you're back at work, who pays for childcare, and who handles the pick ups etc.
Does he do his share of the household load?
Does he often sulk if he doesn't get his way?
Does he get angry if you don't do what he wants? Does he find silly ways to "punish you" (like the music. Classic examples might be taking the duvet away, turning on lights etc so you can't sleep. Or refusing to bring you a takeaway when getting his own. Or purposefully leaving things in your way for you to clean/step over. But there can be thousands).

Sounds awful. I think throwing water was awful and his behaviour was awful.

Poor child.

@OhBling omg this 🥺🥺