Can you help with a polite one liner to stop these conversations with SILs?

[User1974]

I am very close to DBs and very different to SILs in personality but we all get on ok. I have a specific style which I wear day in day out - and have for 35 years. SIL both love shopping, especially for clothes and discuss clothes a lot, I am not involved in these discussions.

The last 3 times I have seen them together they have tried to arrange a "make over" for me. I get it, they think I wear old stuff and need some pizzazz, but it is just not my style. Also make up, which I do not and have never worn. Also, I have MS and mobility issues and what I wear works for me, I am very very busy.

I have smiled and been sort of evasive but now they are offering dates for my big "make over" and they are super excited. What can I say to firmly but politely tell them, thanks but no thanks.

No of course not, as I said above.

Which is why I’m asking why the OP mentioned her aunt was Indian and said “if it works on her then it works on me”; the aunt may have long hair for cultural reasons, other way mention her ethnicity?

It’s that comment I’m suggesting may be culturally insensitive, not the actually having long hair.

Well so what if the aunt has long hair for cultural reasons, it still doesnt make it culturally insensitve for OP to have it or to emulate it or be guided by it or think it looks good

Why on earth would it

“Thank you but no thank you”

I have found this often slightly
confuses people. In a good way.

If they ask again repeat but with a slightly different emphasis:

”Thank you but no, thank you”

Next time it’s

“Thank you but NO thank you”.

You don’t need to explain yourself, just be consistent.

It’s the OP (a) basically saying to people if it looks good on her, it’ll definitely look good on me ; and (b) referring to her aunt being Indian when it’s completely irrelevant that seems a little off to me. But of course you’re welcome to disagree.

Thats right, if it looks good on her, it looks good on me. So what, that is what she saying, why is that culturally insensitive?

And her aunts Indian, I took it that she was simply describing her so that people had a visual image of her long hair, which I get also.

Your post was strange and now you just wont admit it!

I don't think Ringbinger's post was strange. I think the OP saying that was strange. And rather rude about the aunt. As in, well obviously if it looks good on her then it must look good on me. And clearly this isn't the case for you, but I don't need to know a woman's ethnicity to picture someone with long hair.

The OP also compared herself to being Japanese-like in her attitude and demeanour. Which is very funny to me as a half-Japanese person, because of the stealth boasting the OP is doing on her and the way she's trying to get others to mock her sisters-in-laws. That is not the Japanese way at all.

I think the OP is rather self-deluded and the strange one. And I see you're defending her repeatedly and criticising others' contrasting opinions at every opportunity. Which is a bit strange itself. And now you're trying to get another poster to "admit" their post was strange. Which is a bit more than a bit strange.

PS: On reflection I think 'at every opportunity' is incorrect. So I retract that comment 😉

Dear SILs

Do you know what? I really appreciate you thinking of me, and I absolutely love you for it.

If you'd really like to treat me though, rather than a makeover which really isn't me, how about the 3 of us get together and do this (insert thing that you'd all love) instead? This would mean far more to me, and I get to spend time with you both, which I love doing.

Love

OP

I don’t really think the OP is interested in actual solutions, she just wants to show us how superior she is to her sils.

I am very shallow and am worried about how the OP looked in that Joseph skirt. She says she is five foot one, but the skirt comes in a 70cm length. Assuming the model is at least five foot nine………

This is absolutely perfect!

@viques
am very shallow and am worried about how the OP looked in that Joseph skirt. She says she is five foot one, but the skirt comes in a 70cm length. Assuming the model is at least five foot nine……

Maybe OP does need some styling advice after all.

Good lord, there must be a formula for the point at which a simple "asking advice" MN thread turns into sneering mean girls.

@YellowAsteroid
Yes, this thread has taken a strange turn overnight.

I found it a refreshing change to read updates from an OP who isn't sat there shaking and sobbing, won't let herself be bullied into doing something she doesn't want to do and actually has a sense of humour in the face of unpleasant relatives.

Horrible isnt it, Ive given up

I find it incredible that because someone doesnt play the victim or is successful or actually feels fairly confident about themselves, thats a really really bad thing

Terrible

Oh come on, don’t be disingenuous😂 Nothing wrong with being confident and successful, but the OP was also sneering at her SILs.

Have you thought about giving more information about your style to them? 'No I love my style. I'm all about quality fabrics and designers!'

Love this !!

Nothing wrong with being confident and successful, but the OP was also sneering at her SILs

Well maybe they shouldn't keep insisting that OP "needs" a makeover when she has made it clear that she doesn't fucking want one.

They have also been sneery about OPs business, tried to recruit her to an MLM scheme and suggested that she has botox.

OP can at least see the funny side of it and isn't whining on about imaginary "shaming" and "judging".

The skirt is beautiful, but the "fascinator" looks straight out of the Liz Truss style book. Tory Party conference 1987 (sorry if that's already been said. I had to skim a bit)

The one liner... (which is a bit stiff because you'd said no so many times already)

"I don't want or need a makeover and constantly telling me that I do is quite patronising."

or

"Please pay me the compliment of listening to me when I say a resounding no."

Keep it short and sweet

'No thanks, I'm not interested'

No one is whining on about imaginary shaming and judging 🙄

Yes the shouldn’t have repeatedly said the OP needs a makeover.

It’s not obvious they were sneery about her business. The OP is clear she hasn’t told them how successful she is. And if the OP’s own brothers don’t know, then either the OP is very low-key about it and/or she has a brother problem.

'I thought wanting to do makeovers stopped after the age of 9?'

Tell them “I love love the way I look and I’d miss me”. Tell them you couldn’t keep it up as have prefer to devote your time to more interesting pursuits than makeup and clothes and your DH isn’t complaining. Has he?

I'm all over this. The savings you can make are astonishing. 👏🏽