Hotel guest asking me to steal his number

[Mangococktail]

I work on a hotel front desk at an upmarket hotel. Love my job.

We had a guest check in for two nights. We hit it off. He extended his stay by two more nights then another night then another.

We chatted lots including for 3 hours straight one night when I came off shift. My colleagues know I've never done anything like this before...I liked him.

When he left he tipped big and gave me a small personal gift that he knew I'd like.

He said he'd come back for lunch on Tuesday. I said well if I'm not here I hope you enjoy it. I don't know my shifts.

He then asked me to keep in touch and said I could get his number off the booking system. I told him I absolutely couldn't do that.

He said I could as he'd just given me permission.

We really got on and I'd like to see him again but I really can't be taking guests numbers off the system.

Why not just give me his number??
What do you all think?

Mumsnet is a weird place.

Personally I wouldn’t have realised you couldn’t take my number off the system.

He feels like you rebuffed him by saying that. He then tries to catch you by going back and forth to this car ten times on check out and you literally hid from him.

He bought you a gift for goodness sake.

The poor man is interested, but probably now thinks you’re not interested.

Mumsnet seems to be eternally convinced all men are dirt

placemarking for a Tuesday afternoon update. I want him to be genuine, turn up Tuesday and offer you his number.

Why does the MN mafia assume he is married?

Maybe he is married and by not giving you his number directly, if he gets caught by the wife- he can just blame you and spin that he never gave you his number and you took it off the system, wife calls the hotel, they check the system, data shows you did indeed look at his phone number on X date, hes successfully minimised his role, you get sacked.

He did it this way so that he knows you will waste spend hours of your time wondering if he will or will not contact you which makes him feel important.

Choose to spend this time being nice to yourself instead of in this state of ponder.

Because he knows you’re not allowed to get his number from the system and he doesn’t want you to contact him again, he was using you for company when he was on his own!

For those saying he gave his permission to take his number. This is irrelevant.

Section 170 of the Data Protection Act says it is an offence to obtain personal data without the consent of the controller (the hotel).

There is no way an organisation would consent to processing personal data in this way. And if you did do it, you could find yourself sacked and up in court.

Because if you get his number and text him and his wife/partner/ employer find out what he did he can claim you are obsessed over him and his gift was just a thankyou for great service and he didn't give you his number. You are chasing (stalking) him.

Enjoy it for what it was. Life's too short to overthink these things.

Hmmm I don’t know. Something doesn’t sit right with me here but I can’t put my finger on exactly what.

Why did you run off to the safe? It sounds as though part of you wasn’t sure about him either.

Are you allowed to accept gifts from customers?

Imagine the same thing happened with a customer who you didn’t like. Would you have accepted the gift then?

This whole thing makes me feel very uneasy. I wouldn’t have anything further to do with him personally, even if he did come back.

Some posters think this thread is a weird parallel universe because OP won't take the number, knowing she isn't supposed to, because true love etc. I think those posters are living in a romantic novel. When OP is on the legal threads asking what she can do because she's under investigation for gross misconduct, it will probably be different people telling her what a twit she's been... Honestly, in every place I've worked since GDPR was a thing, this has been impressed upon any employee who has access to anyone's personal records or even might do at some point. You can only use the data for the purpose it has been provided for. There are some exceptions but "he was really nice and I think he fancied me" isn't one of them!

So please, stop telling OP she's being over cautious and just go for it. These things work out in the movies (sometimes after they go wrong, but they always go right again in the end). In real life she could well be looking for a new job without a reference. If yon bloke is really that smitten he could risk another stay at the hotel and try for another chance. If he doesn't, the most likely scenario is that he is not that smitten. It maybe could have gone somewhere, but is it such a great tragedy if it doesn't? The real Mr Right may be along next week.

Even if it’s your day off, can’t you hang nearby on Tuesday, if that’s the only reason he’s coming for lunch. That’s only if you think he is genuine and was unsure though, which the faffing suggests.
You can be outside somewhere so the staff don’t know you are hanging around if you are embarrassed. If he doesn’t show, no one will know. If he does show - he’s there only because of you anyway and all is well.

Assuming he is married ot some kind if player. I think you gave him super mixed messages when he said about his number, then you said about gdpr then went and hid and didn't talk to him. If I was him I'd think you weren't interested after all.

Thank you

I think you really like him and you wanted him to ask you out properly!

telephone number and date with out being associated to the hotel.

I just want to clarify that he knew where I was. I just hid behind the door as I felt a bit emotional for a moment.

It felt a bit intense and all my colleagues were in another room waiting to ask if he'd said anything about seeing me again and I was going to have to act nonchalant about it.

It did feel very romantic. And natural. But that might be because he dies this all the time.

Also he never in six days dropped into conversation that he was single. He just didn't mention a partner either!

What I would do is this (or not really):
Get you to break hotel protocol, then blackmail you into giving me a free room, or anything else I fancy.
All con men are credible, or it wouldn't work.
Even if it is just a power trip 'look what this girl did to get my number' it's not going to end well. You are sensible, stay that way.

Sounds like he enjoyed his flirtation and has moved on. He probably does it at all the hotels.

I have a thought - if he has a DW/DP at home, how likely is it that he would bring the dog on this trip?

Stick to your professional boundaries, OP - and stop worrying about the rest of it. If this is the epic love story of the ages, then it's not going to evaporate. He knows where you are, and you'll have another chance next time he's in town.

You are both allowed to be bumbling and unsure. Isn't that how you have a great romance? Not by rushing, or by compromising yourself, professionally or personally. The twists and turns, the false starts, the waiting until everything aligns. Or not.

You'll feel a lovely frisson of possibility at work now, as you never know when he'll return, or who the next unexpected connection might be. That's the real gift.

Don't discount the treasure of a lifelong friendship built around periodic visits to your hotel. Not every connection has to be herded into a conventional romance.

Could you search him on social media and add him on Facebook or Instagram? Would that be against hotel rules?

Definitely stick to your guns about not getting his number off the system!

IDontDrinkTea · Today 08:03
Mumsnet is a weird place.

You think we are weird?
What's wrong with just leaving his number, and perhaps a note to say 'sorry if... but would you like ...'

My friends know I've not been on a date in five years and no man has even for five minutes caught my eye before this.

So for me, this sort of connection is rare verging on only time in my life.

I'll wait until Tuesday. I gave plenty of signs I liked him and He could see I was frustrated and bemused by his suggestion I take his number off the system.

He lives a 45 minute drive away so he will be back if he wants to.

Also to add we both love 1940s movies and he told me being raised by his grandparents means he has quite old fashioned views and tastes. So I don't think me expecting him to make the move is going to perplex him for too long. If he is genuine.

Yes. I wanted him to ask me for a drink or walk outside of where all my colleagues and boss are and where we'd be on an equal footing.

I didn't want all this "oh I'll come back" because it still doesn't let us really talk freely.

He finally left about 1pm. He knew my shift finished at 3. He didn't have anything he had to do. So the fact he left probably says it all.

I have never seen one in person only on TV. They are highly recognisable but yes rarely owned!

The email is tokenized. So we can email them from the work system but can't see the email address but a token code.

I can see his number but since he checked out on Tuesday I have no business at all accessing that now.

Thats what my friend said.

He travels a lot and the dog always goes with him. He spoke at length about dog friendly levels in hotels with many examples.