Hotel guest asking me to steal his number

[Mangococktail]

I work on a hotel front desk at an upmarket hotel. Love my job.

We had a guest check in for two nights. We hit it off. He extended his stay by two more nights then another night then another.

We chatted lots including for 3 hours straight one night when I came off shift. My colleagues know I've never done anything like this before...I liked him.

When he left he tipped big and gave me a small personal gift that he knew I'd like.

He said he'd come back for lunch on Tuesday. I said well if I'm not here I hope you enjoy it. I don't know my shifts.

He then asked me to keep in touch and said I could get his number off the booking system. I told him I absolutely couldn't do that.

He said I could as he'd just given me permission.

We really got on and I'd like to see him again but I really can't be taking guests numbers off the system.

Why not just give me his number??
What do you all think?

He finally left about 1pm. He knew my shift finished at 3. He didn't have anything he had to do. So the fact he left probably says it all

Its this that tells me you shouldn’t be the one to contact him.
If he was genuinely interested I don’t see why he couldn’t suggest doing something when you finished at 3.

See if he does come back Tuesday and take it from there but I think otherwise you just have to think well it wasn’t meant to be.

Fgs just see if he turns up on Tuesday . Please don't let PPs persuade you that they're right . As a PP said earlier , so many MNers think all men are dirt .

So you have only seen one, it's unlikely to be the only one in the county let alone the country.

If it was that outing, and a clue then it's a good thing, as if someone who knows his can nudge him and say call her, or tell his wife/girlfriend

But a lot of mystery shoppers do it on the side. Just because he has a main job, doesn't mean he isn't one.

We would not chat for three hours, I can assure you that.

It doesn't need to be a chain. I assume the large chains have in-house mystery shoppers, but any business that is worried about their staff can use an agency to get be a mystery shopper.

Lots of people do mystery shopping on the side as they get a free meal, hotel room etc. But the report is a lot of work so it is not really worth it.

Have you googled or FB'd him?

Yes good point, they don't usually but there is no reason why they couldn't to put people at ease and so catch the staff out.

If I was a business owner who was worried about their staff I would get someone to do exactly what the guy has done.

OP, I’m with the non-paranoids. I think you bottled it and went and hid rather than telling him very clearly that taking someone’s details from the hotel system would be a sackable offence, regardless of his verbal permission. It’s as likely he’s just clumsy or insecure as that he’s a married player/mystery shopper. See if he shows up on Tuesday. He literally knows where you are.

he's testing you. If you risk your job to get him number, then he will know you are quite likely to have sex with him and that you are easily persuaded.

if he was really that into you, in a not -just-for-one-night way, he would not ask you to risk your job and he’d have given you his number.

This!!!

Hm. I'm sure you did hit it off but the very very cynical part of me wonders if this isn't a ploy by the hotel management to find out who's trustworthy. I may or may not be watching too much cosy crime....

Yes. Stuff about nice things he has done for communities and charities. Stuff about his dog and another happy. Stuff about his business. Nothing personal as such and no accounts...just press articles.

From what you've said, you made it clear you were interested, and he KNOWS you are otherwise he wouldn't have suggested you ring him.

As he didn't mention having a partner, my money would bet that he has one. Single men who are interested in a lady generally say they are single!

Don't let the fact you haven't been in a date in 5 years cloud your judgement, or allow you to unintentionally put him on a pedestal he doesn't yet deserve.

Eh, no. I didn’t tell her to take the number. I told her she messed up by rubbing off to hide instead of just explaining and asking for his number directly. He clearly thought it was fine because he gave permission. And mumsnetters are creating all sorts of stories about him instead of the obvious; he thought it was fine, he gave permission and she ran and hid so he thinks conversation was over and it’s all good.

This is what I used to do, mainly because I found it interesting. But as you say, the report takes too much time.

I used to go to restaurants, it was quite good actually. Got paid for my food and drinks + 3 people so that was worth it.

Worse case scenario

1 You get his number off the computer which will show you've accessed his account.

2 You call him.

3 His wife finds out.

4 'She's crazy, I didn't give her my number' - = he isn't lying to her.

5 He complains to the hotel.

6 They find you accessed his account and out you go.

--

Best case scenario

He's available, smitten and shy and doesn't know how to do this. Maybe it's been a while since he dated. But still don't get his number from the records. See 6.

Is it not possible to meet someone irl nowadays, does it have to be online?

Ahhh OK thanks.

Could he be some kind of inspector trying to catch you out?

I can’t wait till Tuesday !

To find pout what level of "breaking the rules" you're up for?

There's at least an even chance he's married, and it would give him a "Well you weren't honest rither" excuse ready made

I need to know if he comes back!

It all sounds really unprofessional.

I do casual hostessing work at events in an arts environment and even though I'm 57, I still get men (mainly bankers and wealth managers) who seem to think we are there for their pleasure.

I'm happy to smile and converse which is a big part of my job, but will categorically refuse to engage in any way that isn't part of my job. Occasionally we get propositioned with offers like 'I've really enjoyed talking with you. Would you like to go for dinner after you've finish work?' and since we cannot afford to offend as they maybe wealthy donors, I always say 'excuse me' and walk away and go and do another job.

I really don't think in a professional work capacity, encouraging this type of behaviour does women generally any favours. Call me old fashioned. There is a side of me that resents and makes me feel insulted that women are still seen in this way when they work in these roles (I hate to think what air hostesses have to deal with in the course of their day).

If I wanted to meet men (obviously older men) I'd just go and sit in a Mayfair bar after work.

As others have pointed out maybe he's playing you as a power/ego trip. Try to remember that you are at work.

Hello… I’ve lurking around mumsnet for a number years and never registered… but I am intrigued with this…so felt I needed to sign up and follow…