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Original poster

Hotel guest asking me to steal his number

442 replies

Mangococktail · 28/06/2024 21:30

I work on a hotel front desk at an upmarket hotel. Love my job.

We had a guest check in for two nights. We hit it off. He extended his stay by two more nights then another night then another.

We chatted lots including for 3 hours straight one night when I came off shift. My colleagues know I've never done anything like this before...I liked him.

When he left he tipped big and gave me a small personal gift that he knew I'd like.

He said he'd come back for lunch on Tuesday. I said well if I'm not here I hope you enjoy it. I don't know my shifts.

He then asked me to keep in touch and said I could get his number off the booking system. I told him I absolutely couldn't do that.

He said I could as he'd just given me permission.

We really got on and I'd like to see him again but I really can't be taking guests numbers off the system.

Why not just give me his number??
What do you all think?

OP posts:
TemuSpecialBuy · 29/06/2024 05:33

TokyoSushi · 28/06/2024 21:33

No. I was a front desk manager at 5* hotels for many years, it happens all the time. Don't do it, no good will come of it!

Yep. As my mother used to tell me don’t shit or shag where you eat.

The number thing is a red herring.
even if he wrote him s number in the sky and begged you to call you shouldn’t.

You will never have an equal relationship, he is a customer.
he bought you a gift and left a big tip. He might fancy shag but he won’t want a future or LT relationship and if he does the power balance will be skewed.

if you want a shag find a hot guy in a bar,
if you want a LT relationship look elsewhere… this ain’t it.

JedEye · 29/06/2024 05:39

Drandthemedics · 29/06/2024 03:02

I would of course take his number from the system, because he gave you permission. The whole point of gdpr is to have permission

There's no proof he gave permission if he denies it.

Peacefulbeach · 29/06/2024 05:43

He’s married, hence the not giving you his number himself.

EVEN if he isn’t married OP…a man will do whatever it takes to see you again if he likes you enough. That’s the bottom line x

Interested in this thread?

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CheeseWisely · 29/06/2024 05:44

A lot of GDPR experts on this thread, but maybe he's not one? Being 'even slightly aware of any business or profession' absolutely does not mean he's up to speed on every aspect of GDPR, especially if his job does not involve personal data.

I'd keep an open mind and see if he comes back for lunch on Tuesday before writing him off as a creep or player, but if he is genuine then shooting off to hide rather than saying 'no really, I can't take your details off the system, you'll have to write them down for me' may have blown it already.

CheeseWisely · 29/06/2024 05:47

But you also would have no proof of verbal permission. He could email the hotel and lie and op would be sacked.

He could also have typed his number directly into OP's phone, then told the hotel he hadn't and she could be sacked, if that was his plan. Who'd prove otherwise?

I thought I was cynical but according to this thread I'm an absolute amateur.

Edingril · 29/06/2024 05:51

If this was a friend asking me I would tell them its not meant to be thus complicated and don't be that desperate

Starseeking · 29/06/2024 05:52

A man who lives far enough away that he needs to stay in a hotel, then tells you to take his number off the system (rather than taking yours so he can contact you) doesn't sound like a great prospect for a relationship (it sounds like that's what you'd be looking for).

If you're interested regardless, I'd wait and see if he comes back on Tuesday, and see how the conversation goes then. I'd make it crystal clear to him that if he does want to meet up, he needs to take your details and get in touch.

TiddlyCove · 29/06/2024 06:01

No, you can't go into your work system for something like this. He knows where you are if he wants to find you - nothing to stop him calling the hotel and asking for you.

FedUpMumof10YO · 29/06/2024 06:04

Because he's not as confident as he appears ?

PurpleyDog · 29/06/2024 06:07

This thread is bonkers. There is nothing whatsoever to suggest that he’s married or only after a quick shag. Yes that’s a possibility, but it’s also a possibility when you meet someone at a hobby that you see every week for months. It’s the risk that comes with dating. If we decided every man who doesn’t do all the chasing is married, half the relationships in the world wouldn’t exist!

You hiding away as soon as he made that comment was a major point missing from your OP. Your OP made it sound like he said it, you said you can’t, he said he gave permission and then just stood there with a smirk. But instead you immediately ran away and he has no idea that you can’t just take his number. Maybe he wants to avoid being too full on by just giving it to you and wants to leave the ball in your court. Maybe he was simply shy. Or maybe he is a player who enjoys the thrill of a chase. It could by any one of those things and more but it’s mental that so many women immediately conclude he must be married.

If you’re keen, send him an email to say that you’re not working on Tuesday so won’t be around when he comes in, but you hope to see him again soon. And then once he responds you’ll have a better idea of what’s going on.

It is ok for women to do some of the chasing sometimes. It doesn’t always have to be the men. My DH was super shy when it came to getting to know women and moving it on to dating territory that he was single for years. I really liked him so I instigated contact and meeting up at the start and now we’re very happily married with two children.

Grateful10QLord · 29/06/2024 06:16

Avatartar · 29/06/2024 00:22

Power trip - pure and simple, c’mon what other reason can you think of OP
sorry but he’s bored - working away from home- you won’t be the first or last

This.

And please don't email him about lunch as one PP suggested. He knows where you are. He will get in touch again.

I do wonder if he is married/in a committed relationship.

Edited to say...i have tagged the wrong post.

Grateful10QLord · 29/06/2024 06:22

Ivehearditbothways · 29/06/2024 00:21

I feel like I’ve stepping through the looking glass into some insane world. I mean, mumsnet can be a bit mad with not answering the door, not walking through woodland, not answering the phone… there is a lot of weird stuff in forums but this is something else.

Seriously OP, do not let the man hating paranoia on this forum steer you. The guy gave all indication of being genuine albeit a bit nervous about how to say goodbye. A person who never has to think about GDPR or protocols wouldn’t consider it when saying that you’ve got their number so give them a call. It’s a bit weird that you went off and hid after he said it’s fine because you’ve got permission; because he really thought it was fine. You should have said that it’s a sackable offence even with permission so you can’t access it, but he could write it down himself.

It really sounds like a miscommunication, he was trying to be all easy about it and let you decide if you wanted to continue talking, and he really didn’t realise the rules were so strict.

The replies on here are what’s odd. It’s a bit of an echo chamber and posters rile each other up and all sense is lost.

He wants to see you again, you got no funny vibes from him, you enjoyed his company. There is nothing weird here. He really thought the number thing would be a non-issue. That’s my take on it. In your shoes, I wouldn’t have gone off the hide at the safe, i’d have just asked for his number during the conversation.

This.

I think he really did think it is okay. Especially now you have explained he has overheard you tell another guest you have their number.

Please don't email him about lunch as one PP suggested. That is the same as getting his number from the system for non-work purposes.

He knows where you are. He will get in touch again, if he can or wants to.

I do wonder if he is married/in a committed relationship.

My previous post tagged the wrong quote.

PurpleyDog · 29/06/2024 06:26

He knows where you are. He will get in touch again, if he can or wants to

Except he’s left it with OP, and if he hears nothing from OP then he might assume she’s not interested and not follow up, especially as it’s seems like he’s avoiding being pushy.

YellowHairband · 29/06/2024 06:26

But you also would have no proof of verbal permission. He could email the hotel and lie and op would be sacked.

He could do that even if he gave OP his number.

I'm confused about people saying he did this so that he could tell a wife/girlfriend that he didn't give his number out. Cheaters swear blind about things that are lies all the time. The idea that a man can't tell his partner he didn't give his number out unless he actually didn't give his number out is funny.

RivalsJillyC · 29/06/2024 06:38

Ivehearditbothways · 29/06/2024 00:21

I feel like I’ve stepping through the looking glass into some insane world. I mean, mumsnet can be a bit mad with not answering the door, not walking through woodland, not answering the phone… there is a lot of weird stuff in forums but this is something else.

Seriously OP, do not let the man hating paranoia on this forum steer you. The guy gave all indication of being genuine albeit a bit nervous about how to say goodbye. A person who never has to think about GDPR or protocols wouldn’t consider it when saying that you’ve got their number so give them a call. It’s a bit weird that you went off and hid after he said it’s fine because you’ve got permission; because he really thought it was fine. You should have said that it’s a sackable offence even with permission so you can’t access it, but he could write it down himself.

It really sounds like a miscommunication, he was trying to be all easy about it and let you decide if you wanted to continue talking, and he really didn’t realise the rules were so strict.

The replies on here are what’s odd. It’s a bit of an echo chamber and posters rile each other up and all sense is lost.

He wants to see you again, you got no funny vibes from him, you enjoyed his company. There is nothing weird here. He really thought the number thing would be a non-issue. That’s my take on it. In your shoes, I wouldn’t have gone off the hide at the safe, i’d have just asked for his number during the conversation.

At last a voice of great reason!

leakysqueaky · 29/06/2024 06:40

I'm invested now and want to know if he'll turn up for lunch on Tuesday!

But OP, you are right to be cautious and as you know, you couldn't use his data for personal reasons (even with his verbal permission) as you have no proof of that. Not worth risking your job over a man you don't really know.

Let's see if he arrives on Tuesday! If he does and you get chatting, no reason why you can't give him your number instead. Just check your work policy though as some employers might have restrictions on personal contact with clients.

Hope he turns out to be the real deal. 😊

BileBeansSara · 29/06/2024 06:44

IMustDoMoreExercise · 28/06/2024 22:06

Could it be a mystery shopper trying to catch you out?

This was my thought but it's not a chain.

Wantitalltogoaway · 29/06/2024 07:09

.

LuluBlakey1 · 29/06/2024 07:16

If he is interested, he knows how to contact you. Stop over-thinking and move on.

AgnesX · 29/06/2024 07:22

Mangococktail · 28/06/2024 21:38

But why??? Why ask me to take his number off the system rather than asking for mine or even giving me his??

I don't get it!

Show quote history

It means he didn't really want to. This guy enjoys the short term kick of something new and would be horrified it you got back in touch.

CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment · 29/06/2024 07:22

Sounds like a weird power play, trying to force you to do something you don't want to do. I would just forget about it.

I understand being nervous about giving out your number, but you had spent of lot of time together - it's not like walking up to someone as a cold approach in a cafe or whatever.

Amsx · 29/06/2024 07:32

Maybe he's sworn to his wife he won't give any more random women his number.

BowlOfNoodles · 29/06/2024 07:41

Mangococktail · 28/06/2024 23:51

I'm ok. It's rare for me to feel at ease with men quickly. Havent been in a date in five years so I did feel a connection.

I just felt so confused why he was coming back for lunch, why he couldn't grasp that I wouldn't be there, why tell me to take his number off system

I have to assume he's not single and he was just enjoying my company and hotel in general.

That's why you felt it hun! I've been single for years I'll quickly feel these connections ( they soon die off ) but it's the lack of Personal interaction with a man. You then WANT to feel a connection I agree with the others I think he's married also.

CheeseWisely · 29/06/2024 07:45

IMustDoMoreExercise · 28/06/2024 22:06

Could it be a mystery shopper trying to catch you out?

Mystery shoppers don't stay for the best part of a week GrinGrin

FOJN · 29/06/2024 08:03

Is he a player or just nervous? No idea but he was indicating he would like to have further contact with you and you seemed to have felt a connection with him.

I don't understand why you didn't tell him he could write his number down because you couldn't take it from the system or offer to give him your number. Neither of you seem to take the initiative wrt to navigating around the GDPR issue. I think he might have felt you were just shutting him down when you said you couldn't take his number from the system.

I'm surprise you say you felt at ease with him because your last exchange about his phone number seems very awkward. He was expressing an interest in staying in touch and you hid because you were embarrassed and confused rather than offer your number.

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