Hotel guest asking me to steal his number

[Mangococktail]

I work on a hotel front desk at an upmarket hotel. Love my job.

We had a guest check in for two nights. We hit it off. He extended his stay by two more nights then another night then another.

We chatted lots including for 3 hours straight one night when I came off shift. My colleagues know I've never done anything like this before...I liked him.

When he left he tipped big and gave me a small personal gift that he knew I'd like.

He said he'd come back for lunch on Tuesday. I said well if I'm not here I hope you enjoy it. I don't know my shifts.

He then asked me to keep in touch and said I could get his number off the booking system. I told him I absolutely couldn't do that.

He said I could as he'd just given me permission.

We really got on and I'd like to see him again but I really can't be taking guests numbers off the system.

Why not just give me his number??
What do you all think?

He wants you to make the effort to see him again rather than he make the effort. It’s a simple trick to put you on the back foot and for him to get a quick ego boost. Don’t fall for it. To be honest I would call it a small red flag

So that you're then the 'chaser' and he has the fallback of saying 'sorry wife/girlfriend/whoever, she took my number off the system, I didn't give it to her...'

Maybe it's because he's married and that's why he couldn't directly give you his number.

He's told you to look it up on the system because he knows you can't / won't?

OK. This all makes sense.

Well he checked out on Tuesday and I haven't contacted him and won't.

I sent an email from the hotel email (ie reception@) saying Dear Mr x as requested here is your VAT invoice kind regards Mangococktail

So he will hopefully realise that if he IS sincere he will have to do better.

But from what you all say doesn't sound like he was!!!

@TokyoSushi as you seem wise..so the line about coming back for lunch on Tuesday isn't true either? What is the point of that?

God I am so gullible!

But why say it at all? What would stop a married man giving someone his number?

He might come back, if he still has hope, but as soon as he sees nothing is going to happen, he'll be off!

I think maybe he was hoping I'd figure it out...ie....I can't give you my number as I'm not single....but you could get in touch....it's up to you

Could it be a mystery shopper trying to catch you out?

Just to play devil’s advocate. He may have wanted you to contact him to avoid the situation where he asks for your number and you refuse because you don’t see him that way and you were just offering excellent customer service. He is giving you a chance to walk away. Did you tell him you can’t take his number off the system?

We had a running joke he was a hotel inspector trying to catch me out.

In reality he talked about his real job in huge detail and I heard him on several business calls so no I don't think so!

So he can blame you when his wife finds out?

This was definitely what I wanted to believe.

He went up and down ten times packing up his car. Checked out 15 minutes late. Then said he was taking the dog fir a walk but would be back. Then came back. Then said he was popping to the shop but what time did my shift finish as he didn't want to miss me. Then came back from shop. Then had the convo about his number. Then he sat outside in his car for 15 minutes. Then he left!!!

So he did seem a bit nervous.

He did it so that he could walk away pretending that the ball was in your court and any decision to continue the relationship was down to you, knowing full well that you couldn't access his data. He had fun flirting with you, he took your time, he persuaded you to confide in him and he used you as an admiring audience, then he walked away smiling while basically ghosting you.

I hope the gift was a nice and the tip was massive, OP. At least it was fun while it lasted.

Doesn't want him giving you his number in cctv or witnessed by others. Plausible deniability. The receptionist is a stalker, she got my number from the system.

If he comes back for lunch on Tuesday, just explain that you aren’t allowed to take numbers off the system, but he’s welcome to write it down for you.

What sort of dog? 😃

This 100%

Hahaha you made me smile. Can't say as would be completely outing. Pedigree dog not often seen. Lovely dog.

This says it all, he couldn't decide whether you were interested and was too nervous to ask, it doesn't take ten trips to pack the car, he didn't need to go to the shop or take the dog for a walk and come back. He's a bloke you have to give clear indication that you're interested. He sat outside in his car for 15 minutes trying to pluck up enough courage to come back in. Email him mention his invitation to lunch.

Undoubtedly this, and I bet he's married, too.

Yes, then he can say with a clear conscience ''I promise I didn't give her my number- Scout's honour''

I understand how frustrating it must be for you, @Mangococktail if he seemed a decent bloke.

But the lack of giving you his number shows that he is likely married or in a {so say} committed relationship.

However, he may well turn up next Tuesday- or he may not.

I'm imagining an unusual dog, like an Irish Wolfhound for some reason.

Maybe his wife works, hence he has to bring the dog along with him..I'm just guessing though.

I'm ok. It's rare for me to feel at ease with men quickly. Havent been in a date in five years so I did feel a connection.

I just felt so confused why he was coming back for lunch, why he couldn't grasp that I wouldn't be there, why tell me to take his number off system

I have to assume he's not single and he was just enjoying my company and hotel in general.

I'm pretty cynical but I think perhaps PPs are too ready to jump to the conclusion that this guy is a player. That's definitely one possibility, but I think it's equally plausible that he was nervous about being turned down and saw this as a way of avoiding an embarrassing rejection.

And in all honesty, in the moment, if I were in his position, I probably wouldn't have thought it was that big of a deal for you to lookup his number, after he gave you his permission. Did you explicitly tell him that it was impossible and a sackable offence? It would obviously not be cool if you made it clear and he pressured you anyway, but is that what happened?

I guess just wait and see if he turns up on Tuesday like he said! If a man wants to go out with you, he will make it happen. He knows how to contact you. If he's too much of a wet blanket to ask you out then his loss.