Hotel guest asking me to steal his number

[Mangococktail]

I work on a hotel front desk at an upmarket hotel. Love my job.

We had a guest check in for two nights. We hit it off. He extended his stay by two more nights then another night then another.

We chatted lots including for 3 hours straight one night when I came off shift. My colleagues know I've never done anything like this before...I liked him.

When he left he tipped big and gave me a small personal gift that he knew I'd like.

He said he'd come back for lunch on Tuesday. I said well if I'm not here I hope you enjoy it. I don't know my shifts.

He then asked me to keep in touch and said I could get his number off the booking system. I told him I absolutely couldn't do that.

He said I could as he'd just given me permission.

We really got on and I'd like to see him again but I really can't be taking guests numbers off the system.

Why not just give me his number??
What do you all think?

Oh no! It couldn't possibly be the same man? Lawrence ''Call me Tinky'' ??
{His real name!}

I had a monstrous crush on a counsellor many years ago

He was again that slightly tweedy 'Country gent' type - he seemed uber attentive and kind...and was very complimentary...in retrospect definitely overstepping boundaries.

Going out of his way to help.

Anyway...he left suddenly - he said ''I won't be seeing you for a few weeks'' -

His absence really caused me distress at the time.. {shows how vulnerable my mental head space was}
Found out WHY he'd left...his 'replacement' when I asked ''What happened to ***?'' said ''Oh he was sacked for gross professional misconduct''...

Seems he was a bit too much of a ''charmer''.

You are the nicest person. Your words are just lovely!

Yeah it's no biggie. It's actually a brilliant lesson never to take the guests seriously. We as staff all know each other but the guests can play at being who they want.

If I was younger I think I'd still be trying to convince myself he'd come back. I bet he doesn't ever dare repeat a place. He's probably at the hotel "down the road" as I type.

He didn't really do any harm.

Yeah it's so easy to think it's this really rare connection when actually they just know all the tricks.

Truly awful from a counsellor though!

I did wonder but no.

I think definitely attached...he got too much of a thrill from it for just a single bloke.

@oakleaffy

''Call me Tinky'' ??

@@

Talk about "Tell me you are a wanker without telling me you are a wanker."
What kind of man wants to be known as Tinky? An attention seeking idiot that's what.

Oh give over. Have you ever worked in hospitality? They really aren't exactly shit hot on abiding by laws. Besides, this was not a marketing call. They give a number when making a reservation, and the hotel can rightly use that for business purposes, i.e. calling up to check if he was still planning on coming for lunch. Many guests, particularly regular guests give loose verbal plans without making formal bookings, the receptionist did nothing wrong or unwise by following it up. It's quite literally part of her job.

True. We end up having to call guests all the time:

You left a bra in the room
Where are you it's midnight and we need to lock the door
Your credit card declined
You ate breakfast but you weren't on b and b rate
You booked a party for 200 people and paid a massive deposit but we haven't heard from you in six months and the party is tomorrow
You said you have allergies and I need them in writing

If it's as quiet as today we can send chef for a nap but you can bet that any guest who didn't formally book but mentioned they'd pop in will kick off if we shut kitchen early!

We on reception have access to a lot of data and its clear: calling a guest you fancy is not OK. Calling a guest to check what is going on is yes literally half our job!

Of course it was a marketing call. Or rather the only excuse for making it was a marketing call.

The guest didn't make a reservation. He didn't leave anything behind him. There was no valid reason to look up his phone number to phone him. It absolutely is not part of the receptionist's job to cold call a guest who made vague comments about coming back for lunch but never booked.

I occasionally get texts from a couple of restaurants I've booked online and e-mails from hotels and restaurants I've booked before but those relate to generic offers/ updates / reminders that they exist. They can send them because their GDPR collection of data policy asked me if it was ok for them to contact them. Sending texts and emails also allows opt out.

Oh and the idea that "not being shit hot on abiding by law" excuses misuse of data is laughable. But who knows, maybe the data collection information given when he booked had a tick box for unsolicited calls. The OP has basically done exactly the thing she said in her first post she wouldn't do.

All of those examples would be valid reasons under GDPR for calling a guest because there is still an ongoing contractual relationship with the guest

Calling him when there was no booking, nothing left behind, no issues with his card with the spurious excuse he vaguely mentioned he'd be back for lunch is not valid unless your GDPR information when collecting his data said you could cold call.

Calling a guest to check what is going on is yes literally half our job!

He wasn't a guest. He checked out days ago. The only justification for calling him today would be if he had booked a table and it was being held for him. You've done exactly the thing you said you wouldn't.

Oh my goodness.... This really made me laugh! 😆
My Gay friend used to take the piss hugely , saying ''Whip me, and call me TINKY!''

He really was bad.
I think he probably tried it on with the female clients.

{Although I do know of a female marriage guidance counsellor who fell in love with a client and married him! {they were very happy til she died}- so it does go both ways...

I think this is why I'm so cynical about men these days...in between ''Call me Tinky'' and the Counsellor, and another - I find the single life far easier! 😂

I've actually had to screenshot your reply to forward to my friends that knew 'Tinky' - I'm still laughing now. You are so spot on.

No I don’t get it either.

Unkess it’s a version of “have your people call my people.”

ie; I’m too suave and important for admin crap.

I wonder if he's read Lynn Barber's "An Education"?

'Tinky' was his childhood nickname. But for a man in his Thirties it was faintly ludicrous.

Tinky is cute for a cat, but...

My Gay friend used to take the piss hugely , saying ''Whip me, and call me TINKY!''

@oakleaffy - this really made me laugh! I like the sound of your friend.

'Tinky' was his childhood nickname. But for a man in his Thirties it was faintly ludicrous.

Faintly? faintly? are you kidding? It is extremely ludicrous. it's very attention seeking but deeply deeply worthy of derision!

It can do if you have time to kill, board, and possibly not organised outside of work.

personally it’s sounds a bit game-play-y and political like some one who wants to feel their worth by manipulating course and effect, like a toddler.

it screams board, board, board and you were engaging, intelligent, interesting and attractive which a lot of more worthy people will see in you. This one’s not a catch.

if he comes back enjoy the attention but watch for another red flag where he’s manuvering you to do the leg work.

it’s difficult when you’re working in a hotel as you are a sitting target but the coin has two sides, honestly a good person would go out of their way to date you properly outside your work place, this does seam a very lazy way for him to get you to let down your boundaries and open up and bond from your side.

in my opinion OP run like the plague.
All he’s done for you is listen and smile, given you cash and taken up your time without truly making any effort outside his hotel and your work place.

one question for you to ask yourself could be:
”has he even equally opened up emotionally with me compared to my discussions on my Dad, let alone given me any real personal information. Has he been vulnerable?”

sorry my post is so clearly bias but nothing you said sounded like it was more then a time waster fuelling your imagination.

As a good friend once said “it’s easy to fall for someone who finds you attractive”.

OP please don’t tell strangers you have access to the safe, don’t put that on anyone’s radar.

Do you realise he asked you to do something unprofessional, against policy and Data protection, and you responded with the fact you had access to a safe.

I can see from what you said it was just an excuse in the moment but the information he’s enlisting you to divulge is too much for someone you just met. He sounds very charismatic!

@Mangococktail I had sweetcorn and feta fritters for breakfast

These actually sound delicious! .......... is there a recipe?? possibly misses point of thread

I forgot to add, good luck in the future.
you sound a lovely honest and down to earth person and despite being human like the rest of us and having you head turned by someone’s charm - you say things that show you are clearly well grounded and wise in many ways despite and including you saying you might be naive.

you will meet someone amazing one day. Just open up some opportunities outside your work, I know, difficult outshift work. But you deserve more than him. ✨🧚‍♀️

It's a drop safe as is common. Ie you can put things in the safe but you can't take things out.

go for it and look it up maybe he wanted to be sure you are interested enough to bother

People telling the OP she’s cold called
my goodness leave the poor woman alone!
she’s not selling something and stealing his data.
the man was clearly a time waster. Move on.

access to the safe “putting yourself in danger”
again… nonsense! We’re all pretty “anon”.

OP all the best it’s 2024 and if women can’t support women.. what hope do we have for anyone else to support us!

you’ll meet someone when you least expect if… if that’s what you want.