Hotel guest asking me to steal his number

[Mangococktail]

I work on a hotel front desk at an upmarket hotel. Love my job.

We had a guest check in for two nights. We hit it off. He extended his stay by two more nights then another night then another.

We chatted lots including for 3 hours straight one night when I came off shift. My colleagues know I've never done anything like this before...I liked him.

When he left he tipped big and gave me a small personal gift that he knew I'd like.

He said he'd come back for lunch on Tuesday. I said well if I'm not here I hope you enjoy it. I don't know my shifts.

He then asked me to keep in touch and said I could get his number off the booking system. I told him I absolutely couldn't do that.

He said I could as he'd just given me permission.

We really got on and I'd like to see him again but I really can't be taking guests numbers off the system.

Why not just give me his number??
What do you all think?

Thank you @pastaandpesto

No he said it very sweetly. So I'd tell him all the things that I'd been up to each day while he was staying

He said "keep in touch. Tell me all your adventures. You've got my email. You've got my number"

I said : I can't do that because of GDPR!

He said straight away and smiling "yes you can because I've given you permission"
I looked very unsure and said I'm going to the safe now
I sort of hid then until he'd got in his car because I felt embarrassed and confused.

If I'm honest I don't think it had crossed his mind that I couldn't do that. He'd heard me earlier that day say to a customer that I had his number on system and would call...but obviously that was for work purposes.

The gift he got was something I mentioned once in passing three days earlier and would have required some effort. Not something you can pick up anywhere. For 6 days he was really nice and respectful. It really was only that line that seemed off.

Arrogance? It feels like he's trying to test you and see if you value knowing him enough to risk your job.
Or maybe he's just thick and genuinely doesn't know why it's not allowed

Hopefully he'll come Tuesday and you can say you meant biznizz, no number theft! Then quote him GDPR

Why would he do it??

BECAUSE HE'S MARRIED

What? He has the only one of these dogs, so will be instantly outed.....?

I feel like I’ve stepping through the looking glass into some insane world. I mean, mumsnet can be a bit mad with not answering the door, not walking through woodland, not answering the phone… there is a lot of weird stuff in forums but this is something else.

Seriously OP, do not let the man hating paranoia on this forum steer you. The guy gave all indication of being genuine albeit a bit nervous about how to say goodbye. A person who never has to think about GDPR or protocols wouldn’t consider it when saying that you’ve got their number so give them a call. It’s a bit weird that you went off and hid after he said it’s fine because you’ve got permission; because he really thought it was fine. You should have said that it’s a sackable offence even with permission so you can’t access it, but he could write it down himself.

It really sounds like a miscommunication, he was trying to be all easy about it and let you decide if you wanted to continue talking, and he really didn’t realise the rules were so strict.

The replies on here are what’s odd. It’s a bit of an echo chamber and posters rile each other up and all sense is lost.

He wants to see you again, you got no funny vibes from him, you enjoyed his company. There is nothing weird here. He really thought the number thing would be a non-issue. That’s my take on it. In your shoes, I wouldn’t have gone off the hide at the safe, i’d have just asked for his number during the conversation.

Power trip - pure and simple, c’mon what other reason can you think of OP
sorry but he’s bored - working away from home- you won’t be the first or last

Even when in 2024 are we women going to grow up?!

Fuck him, (if he's safe), enjoy it, he will not be your prince charming.

Become independent, your future self will thank you.

Contacting him with his permission isn't breaching GDPR, as far as I'm aware. Surely, you remember his email address without having to look up in the system, I bet you had butterflies in your tummy when you emailed him the invoice!

I really don't see the issue here with sending him a quick email from your personal email when you're not in work, just saying "hey, it was nice to meet you last week, here's my number", then the ball is in his court.

I don't see how it could get you sacked, he's no longer a guest, and you've not exposed his data to anyone else. It's hardly like in the NHS when you're forbidden from accessing people you know's medical records.

I have worked in hospitality, and on reception, and I've never heard of something like this being a sackable offence. But of course, check your contract to see if dating a former guest is a sackable offence or not.

Nothing - but if his wife finds out OP has been messaging him, he can claim it’s all a misunderstanding and he was just being friendly to her and that she must have looked on the system for his number.

My god, the stories people concoct. Please OP, ignore this thread.

He sounds nice to me.

Maybe when he comes back you could just explain that you are not allowed to access his number for personal reasons. Also say that if he wants to keep in touch then he needs to tell you his number and also talk to your manager about it.

If you were two teachers in a school you would need to talk to the head of department. I would reckon in a hotel it's probably the same.

If he was seriously wanting to see you again he'd ask for your number. You chatted for 3hrs after your shift. He knows that isn't "just good customer service". Think of it this way, you don't want a spineless man for a partner, someone like that won't stick up for you when you need them to and may be the sort of person to kowtow to their mother's wishes and not put you first etc. I also agree with others it's probably a power play trying to get you to chase him.

He's in the area and bored because he knows nobody, you were likely a pleasant distraction from whatever boring work stuff brought him there and chatting with you was something to do other than watch TV in his room or drink alone in a bar. If he's a businessman he understands GDPR well enough and understands you've no proof he gave you permission. Mentioning coming back Tuesday for lunch, he's letting you know he's left the hotel but not the area or he's coming back to the area, so there's the possibility of meeting again, to judge your reaction. Probably hoping you'd say you were free Tuesday so he could suggest you eat together and then nip up to a room for sex after. He sat outside for 15 min hoping you'd steal his number and text him, I think.

Any man who has ever given me his number has been looking for a hook-up that night or occasionally a zero-effort "relationship". He's had ample opportunity to ask for your number and hasn't, that speaks volumes IMO. Why would you want to date someone who's ego is so fragile they can't handle being told "no" nicely? How's that going to work out for the rest of the relationship? He surely knows you well enough by now to know you're not going to laugh in his face, so I don't buy all the fear of rejection nonsense. Maybe he's planning to make his move on Tuesday OP, if you're there.

You are mistaken. Accessing the data at all for personal reasons is a breach of GDPR. He cannot give someone permission to access data controlled by the OP's employer even though the data relates to him. If he is even slightly aware of any kind of business or profession he should know this. If he really does not realise this it is sad, but it would be gross misconduct to access the hotel's data for personal reasons.

But I said she must remember his email from emailing him already, I'm not talking about her going into his profile to access his contact details.

Don’t be too sure!

A lot of mystery shoppers have full-time day jobs, too. ❤️

I'm someone who knows little to nothing about GDPR as it's not a thing in my line of work.

I'd have said the same as this man- you've got my email and phone number on a screen in front of you, you have my permission to jot them down and contact me.

It seems a bit ludicrous you can't and he may not realise you actually can't.

Doesn't seem odd at all to me, he sounds entirely genuine.

I agree with this. Could be a player or could be a nervous guy.

@Mangococktail sounds like he was quite smitten and wanted to be in contact (taking so long checking out). I hope he comes back. Not everyone’s a cheat!

His verbal permission means nothing. Get it in writing.

Seriously, if he wants to see you outside of your workplace, why doesn't he give you his number?

If he's married or in a relationship, stay away from him.

I would of course take his number from the system, because he gave you permission. The whole point of gdpr is to have permission

Maybe he just thought it would be convenient or maybe he thought down the line he could use it against you? blackmail?

Very odd, but you have not lost anything by leaving it alone, he walked in and out of your life that's it

This 100%

He had ample opportunity to ask you out on an actual date if he is going to be in the area on Tuesday - you know during his hours of talking to you. He could have given you his phone number if he wanted to do so. If he wants to contact you again he knows where you are. It is certainly not worth risking your job for a man you hardly know? Have you goggled him? I met somebody like this once and he was very nice and charming and when I said I wasnt interested in some cheap hook up he confessed he was married with two children!

But you also would have no proof of verbal permission. He could email the hotel and lie and op would be sacked.