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Original poster

Hotel guest asking me to steal his number

442 replies

Mangococktail · 28/06/2024 21:30

I work on a hotel front desk at an upmarket hotel. Love my job.

We had a guest check in for two nights. We hit it off. He extended his stay by two more nights then another night then another.

We chatted lots including for 3 hours straight one night when I came off shift. My colleagues know I've never done anything like this before...I liked him.

When he left he tipped big and gave me a small personal gift that he knew I'd like.

He said he'd come back for lunch on Tuesday. I said well if I'm not here I hope you enjoy it. I don't know my shifts.

He then asked me to keep in touch and said I could get his number off the booking system. I told him I absolutely couldn't do that.

He said I could as he'd just given me permission.

We really got on and I'd like to see him again but I really can't be taking guests numbers off the system.

Why not just give me his number??
What do you all think?

OP posts:
TheSquareMile · 30/06/2024 23:23

Mangococktail · 30/06/2024 19:47

I have. I can find his old companies. His current company is registered abroad and I can't find it.

Show quote history

@Mangococktail

Do you know in which country his current company is likely to be registered?

It might be possible for you to find it with some guidance.

I wonder why it's not registered in the UK.

Tucbiscuitsareaddictive · 30/06/2024 23:55

Following

OliveWah · 01/07/2024 00:03

I'm also unhealthily invested in this now @Mangococktail!

In your shoes I think I would do the 'popping in to pick up something I left at work yesterday' on Tuesday lunchtime. If I had all the time in the world and no other plans for the day, I would probably park in the car park with a decent view of people driving in, then you can sit in the car and wait until he is walking in to get out of your car at the same time, so you "bump" into one another, rather than looking like you're hanging around, stalking waiting for him!

I can't wait to hear how you get on, please come back and let us know, fingers crossed for you!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Holidays
MoonintheStreet · 01/07/2024 00:07

Mangococktail · 30/06/2024 22:11

I don't know what you want from this thread but I'm sorry it didn't deliver. I'm not sure how the tipping practice in hotels is really interesting...he followed the usual tipping practice.

This...your behaviour...is about you. Not me.

Start a thread about your needs.

Try and articulate them.

You're worthy of your own thread. This is just now painful.

Show quote history

No, this is you, I’m afraid. But I’m sure it will all work out.

Catsmere · 01/07/2024 00:30

TokyoSushi · 28/06/2024 21:42

What are you all not getting?

Man checks into hotel, man spots pretty/gullible receptionist, man is away from home/unlikely to get busted, man is flirty, man hopes for a quick bit on the side and receptionist seems like an easy target.

Tale as old as time...

And plausible deniability if he's married. "She was chasing me! She took my number off the system! She's crazy!"

corkscrewedup · 01/07/2024 00:40

Mangococktail · 28/06/2024 21:38

But why??? Why ask me to take his number off the system rather than asking for mine or even giving me his??

I don't get it!

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He's married probably does this in every hotel he stays in where there is someone on reception who catches his ey and is responsive.

I'm afraid asking you to take the number of the system is a little bit too smooth and practiced.

He gets him off the hook and there is no paper trail for his wife to find.

PardonMee · 01/07/2024 00:43

Ask the manager to contact him and formally get permission

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 01/07/2024 00:51

PardonMee · 01/07/2024 00:43

Ask the manager to contact him and formally get permission

In other words ask the manager to breach GDPR.

The manager has no more valid reasons for looking up , or using , this guest's data than the OP has.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 01/07/2024 01:05

MoonintheStreet · 30/06/2024 21:58

Who cares how many men you’re attracted to? Knock yourself out. My point was that you seem to spend a lot of time online speculating about whether some guy actually wants to ask you out or not. Assuming that grumpy boss wasn’t actually holding a torch for you, isn’t it possible this whole hotel guest scenario is equally unrelated to reality?

Also, on a completely unrelated note, you say he ‘tipped big’ when he left? You mean to housekeeping? Is this done via reception now? It was cash in the room when I was a hotel cleaner, but that was a while ago…

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The last time I worked on hotel reception (not that long ago), some guests tipped at reception when checking out, to then be shared throughout all departments.

Of course management kept it all and we never saw a penny 🙄

SlugGloves · 01/07/2024 01:10

TokyoSushi · 28/06/2024 21:42

What are you all not getting?

Man checks into hotel, man spots pretty/gullible receptionist, man is away from home/unlikely to get busted, man is flirty, man hopes for a quick bit on the side and receptionist seems like an easy target.

Tale as old as time...

And he probs wants the OP to acquire his number through a data breach so he’s got something to hold over her if she ever finds out about/decides to tell his wife. He can just call the hotel and say “your mad receptionist has stolen my personal data from the system and is harassing me and my wife”.

Incakewetrust · 01/07/2024 01:11

I am so invested 😂 please update us if you see him again!

PurpleyDog · 01/07/2024 01:24

The conspiracy theories on this thread are crazy!

Keep them coming!

littleorchard45 · 01/07/2024 07:01

Well I hope it is genuine and I hope it works out for you!

LAMPS1 · 01/07/2024 07:39

It’s possible he was setting you up for a scam OP. How much of a possibility, is anybody’s guess. Could be very unlikely and he’s very genuine albeit a bit daft not knowing the law. At this stage, nobody knows.
So in that situation, you listen to your instincts and you are guided by your professionalism. Which you naturally and rightly have done so far.

If he really wanted you to call him, he could easily have passed his number over. Especially when you told him you couldn’t go searching for it, even with his permission. It seems odd, even if he was ignorant about GDPR, that he wouldn’t just hand his number over or ask for yours. A bit lazy maybe….or not actually that keen.

Instead, he indicated that he wanted you to make the first move. Hardly chivalrous to expect you to chase him up. After the way you have described him, it’s exactly that lack of manners, that I would find fishy about his conduct.

Don't hang around in the car park or hotel lounge hoping to bump into him. It looks far too desperate.
Don't even think of risking your career..ever.
Yes, all you can do is pass on a message via today’s receptionist.
I really hope it works out OP. Fingers crossed for you today.

Loubilou23 · 01/07/2024 09:45

Ivehearditbothways · 29/06/2024 00:21

I feel like I’ve stepping through the looking glass into some insane world. I mean, mumsnet can be a bit mad with not answering the door, not walking through woodland, not answering the phone… there is a lot of weird stuff in forums but this is something else.

Seriously OP, do not let the man hating paranoia on this forum steer you. The guy gave all indication of being genuine albeit a bit nervous about how to say goodbye. A person who never has to think about GDPR or protocols wouldn’t consider it when saying that you’ve got their number so give them a call. It’s a bit weird that you went off and hid after he said it’s fine because you’ve got permission; because he really thought it was fine. You should have said that it’s a sackable offence even with permission so you can’t access it, but he could write it down himself.

It really sounds like a miscommunication, he was trying to be all easy about it and let you decide if you wanted to continue talking, and he really didn’t realise the rules were so strict.

The replies on here are what’s odd. It’s a bit of an echo chamber and posters rile each other up and all sense is lost.

He wants to see you again, you got no funny vibes from him, you enjoyed his company. There is nothing weird here. He really thought the number thing would be a non-issue. That’s my take on it. In your shoes, I wouldn’t have gone off the hide at the safe, i’d have just asked for his number during the conversation.

The only one talking sense. I am constantly amazed by the sheer lunacy of some posters, the frenzy some have got themselves into is astonishing 😂

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 01/07/2024 09:48

Why the receptionist? He's possibly coming for lunch on Tuesday. You don't usually check in with the receptionist to go to a hotel restaurant.

OP could leave a note with the d'maître of the restaurant but that's a bit desperate too.

Willmafrockfit · 01/07/2024 09:58

i think i would let it go, if he wanted to, he could have given you his number, or asked for your number.
put it down to a nice experience

TheGoddessFrigg · 01/07/2024 10:12

Not wanting someone to lose their job over a GDPR breach is not 'man hating paranoia'. If he's really keen, he can hand his number over to reception as a note for her. Or any of the other million ways men manage to ask women out.

No man is worth losing your job over. And a decent man would appreciate that.

Original poster
Mangococktail · 01/07/2024 12:04

ReadingSoManyThreads · 01/07/2024 01:05

The last time I worked on hotel reception (not that long ago), some guests tipped at reception when checking out, to then be shared throughout all departments.

Of course management kept it all and we never saw a penny 🙄

Show quote history

Tips are usually given to reception by overnight guests as the tip covers kitchen, housekeeping, restaurant, bar and reception.

OP posts:
corkscrewedup · 01/07/2024 13:06

Loubilou23 · 01/07/2024 09:45

The only one talking sense. I am constantly amazed by the sheer lunacy of some posters, the frenzy some have got themselves into is astonishing 😂

Edited
Show quote history

This isn't sense. It's really REALLY gullible.

If he was a single man who was interested he would have given her his card/number and said balls in your court type thing if he didn't want to pressurise her.

@Mangococktail herself said

"But why??? Why ask me to take his number off the system rather than asking for mine or even giving me his??"

@Ivehearditbothways says:

There is nothing weird here. He really thought the number thing would be a non-issue

This is just naive. EVERYONE knows it is unlawful to access personal data like this off a system and a sackable offence.

What's weird is thinking it is normal to say to someone you root around in the system and get my number instead of - oh I don't know - me just giving it to you right here and right now - or asking for yours.

Original poster
Mangococktail · 01/07/2024 13:20

corkscrewedup · 01/07/2024 13:06

This isn't sense. It's really REALLY gullible.

If he was a single man who was interested he would have given her his card/number and said balls in your court type thing if he didn't want to pressurise her.

@Mangococktail herself said

"But why??? Why ask me to take his number off the system rather than asking for mine or even giving me his??"

@Ivehearditbothways says:

There is nothing weird here. He really thought the number thing would be a non-issue

This is just naive. EVERYONE knows it is unlawful to access personal data like this off a system and a sackable offence.

What's weird is thinking it is normal to say to someone you root around in the system and get my number instead of - oh I don't know - me just giving it to you right here and right now - or asking for yours.

Show quote history

Hahahaha. True.

Its not like giving out your number is difficult or rare. It really jarred at that moment.

I'm just going to forget about him. It was a week ago almost he left and he's a fading memory.

Anything I could do is complicated and problematic and just too much effort.

OP posts:
Belis · 01/07/2024 14:23

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 01/07/2024 09:48

Why the receptionist? He's possibly coming for lunch on Tuesday. You don't usually check in with the receptionist to go to a hotel restaurant.

OP could leave a note with the d'maître of the restaurant but that's a bit desperate too.

Doing anything other than waiting for him to leave his number for her on Tuesday or call up reception desk to ask to speak to her so he can ask for her number or ask her on a date, is desperate.

OP you told him you can't get his number off the system due to GDPR, if he's going to dismiss your concerns about that, act like he knows best/is right and you're daft, expecting you to do it anyway just because it's what he prefers - then how nice is he, really? If he's dismissive like that it'll happen in other areas of the relationship too. This is why you initially froze up and felt confused and hid away when he said it. This behaviour jarred with what he'd shown you so far and you subconsciously picked up on the wrongness of it. Why do you want a relationship that starts with you dropping your standards, compromising your integrity and risking your job? It's basically an admission that to have this man you'd need to become someone other than what you are.

MissIndecisive2023 · 01/07/2024 14:29

Belis · 01/07/2024 14:23

Doing anything other than waiting for him to leave his number for her on Tuesday or call up reception desk to ask to speak to her so he can ask for her number or ask her on a date, is desperate.

OP you told him you can't get his number off the system due to GDPR, if he's going to dismiss your concerns about that, act like he knows best/is right and you're daft, expecting you to do it anyway just because it's what he prefers - then how nice is he, really? If he's dismissive like that it'll happen in other areas of the relationship too. This is why you initially froze up and felt confused and hid away when he said it. This behaviour jarred with what he'd shown you so far and you subconsciously picked up on the wrongness of it. Why do you want a relationship that starts with you dropping your standards, compromising your integrity and risking your job? It's basically an admission that to have this man you'd need to become someone other than what you are.

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Great post.

Original poster
Mangococktail · 01/07/2024 14:32

@Belis is right.

I don't feel comfortable engineering or faking anything.

As soon as he said it it felt weird. I think I must even have expressed that facially.

If he does come for lunch tomorrow we'll I'm off shift.

I'm not a piece of furniture I'm a human being with days off and a life to live.

Going to work now. Will let you know if colleagues tell me anything relevant.

Thanks for keeping me sensible.

OP posts:
Aliensinnit · 01/07/2024 16:41

OP, I still think it's very possible that he's genuine, available and interested.

And if so, he will make contact with you in a proper and honourable way that doesn't involve you compromising your integrity.

You are being very sensible not to fake or engineer anything - and indeed, you won't need to if he's actually interested. And if he's not, why would you want him?

If it's meant to be, it will work out.