Husband said 'nice comb-over' to a man at a work drinks event

[Ramsgarthy]

My husband was at a networking drinks event for lawyers last night in London.

He is from Northern Ireland and when another man heard his voice, they said to him, 'you sound like you should be on Crimewatch'.

I understand that this was meant to be a joke (the idea being that he sounds like he's from the IRA). it is not a great joke.

But my husband replied sarcastically, 'nice comb-over', referring to the man's attempt to cover up his bald patch.

The man replied, 'now you're getting personal'.

No drinks had been had at this stage.

I think my husband's reply about the comb-over was unkind and uncalled for, because it was about his personal appearance, and would make him feel self-conscious. Do others agree?

Agreed

Your husbands comment was tame. The other guy was a twit with a bruised ego.

Your DH let him off easy.

Comb-over shouldn't give it out if he can't take it back.

Completely this! If someone said/implied something racist about my accent and my husband didn't have my back, AND then thought I was in the wrong for a retort, I would be reconsidering the relationship.

Eeeexxxxactly 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
OP- I’m pleased DH was quick to give a totally deserved retort

Some Paddies don’t like those kind of jokes, especially in a northern Irish context. Where it can be an even worse insult by an Englishman.

I'd be impressed your husband retorted quickly. And mocking someone's accent is personal.

How incredibly rude of comb-over man. That's an incredibly xenophobic comment and totally inappropriate at a work event. Your DH's only mistake was retorting rather than making an immediate report to HR. Comb-over man should have forced to sweat and squirm while he tried to explain his xenophobic attitude to HR. I'm assuming that that's much harder now as your husband's retort would presumably put him in the wrong in HR's eyes. I still think I'd report comb-over man. A comment about a person's race / ethnicity / accept is so wholly unacceptable that anyone who makes such a comment needs workplace training (and preferably the sack).

First guy started it.

I think your husband gives us an example of pushing back when boundaries have been crossed.

It’s the type of thing you always wish you had said after the event - and your husband did it in the moment. Impressive by your husband.

Paddies?!

I give up.

This. If you are going to make rude, offensive remarks to people then you should expect the same back.

I like the fact your DH retorted back. The other guy was very offensive. Good on your DH.

The man deserved it. Saying someone sounds like a criminal/terrorist isn't personal?

What is it the kids say these days? FAFO?

Yes agree with everyone else, the first man’s remarks were extremely offensive, your DH’s retort was the least he deserved, and you sound incredibly unsupportive.

Being rude about someone’s ethnicity/country of origin through mocking the way he speaks is offensive to his whole family, his Irish friends, his identity. It goes deep.

All combover needs to do is sort his hair out not to be the butt of jokes.

I'm on Team Husband too.

Play bitchy games win bitchy prizes. I’d apologise to your husband too

How is a negative comment about someone's accent not personal? Your DH hit back with an equally rude comment, both a bit childish but both clearly in the same game. Don't dish it out if you can't take it back!

I agree with this tbh.

To me, this is a classic example of the kind of arsehole who thinks its ok to be as rude as they like to others because they probably expect that most people will be so taken aback in the moment they'll just take it.

The fact your husband didnt just take it it and gave him an insult back is bloody glorious- he wasnt expecting that- excellent!

Maybe it will make him think twice next time before he insults someone.

Dont like insults?- then dont give them out to others. Pretty simple really.

Blimey, I didn't realise lawyers' get togethers got so lively.

I'd support your husband on this.

Indeed. How on earth can someone think how someone sounds is less personal than how they look? It's equally part of you. How you present to the world.

Negative remarks about how you look and how you sound are equally personal.

I don't understand why the op won't recognise that.

He deserved it

Racist prick deserved it.

They are both as bad as each other!
What your husband said was immature but the other man was borderline racist.