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Original poster

Husband said 'nice comb-over' to a man at a work drinks event

521 replies

Ramsgarthy · 28/06/2024 00:47

My husband was at a networking drinks event for lawyers last night in London.

He is from Northern Ireland and when another man heard his voice, they said to him, 'you sound like you should be on Crimewatch'.

I understand that this was meant to be a joke (the idea being that he sounds like he's from the IRA). it is not a great joke.

But my husband replied sarcastically, 'nice comb-over', referring to the man's attempt to cover up his bald patch.

The man replied, 'now you're getting personal'.

No drinks had been had at this stage.

I think my husband's reply about the comb-over was unkind and uncalled for, because it was about his personal appearance, and would make him feel self-conscious. Do others agree?

OP posts:
LunaNorth · 28/06/2024 03:39

Combover Guy shouldn’t dish it out if he can’t take it.

He’s lucky he didn’t get a smack in the mouth

SnackyOnassis · 28/06/2024 03:39

Completely on your husband's side here.
If it feels like he had a short fuse on this, remember he's been walking around with this accent for a long time, and this won't have been the first time some arsehole decides it's fair game to make fun of; he'll have learned how to shut that shit down quickly.

I hope the responses on this thread helps you to reconsider your position on this and be more supportive of your husband. I'm Irish and have had the full complement of similar comments from dickheads in every circumstance you can imagine, and the ones when my friends/partner at the time didn't stand up for me are the ones that still sting.
It's so incredibly frustrating and hurtful to be treated like that and for your friends to minimise it and make out like you're the one with the problem if you get annoyed. You're supposed to be on your husband's side - please make him feel like you are.

InWalksBarberalla · 28/06/2024 03:41

Another on your husbands side. Comb over guy made it personal and shouldn't dish it out if he can't take it.

LardoBurrows · 28/06/2024 03:42

The other guy made a racist xenophobic comment to your husband based on his accent and you think he was wrong to respond with a comment like "nice comb-over". I think your husband was very restrained (and quick witted) and the bloke should count himself lucky your husband is not making a formal complaint.

I cannot believe you don't have your husband's back after what was said to him. If I was him I'd be so disappointed at your lack of support and I wouldn't forget this.

friendshipover24 · 28/06/2024 04:08

People shouldn’t dish it out if they can’t take it!

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 28/06/2024 04:12

I bet this prick has been insulting people for years and has never been taken to task or has anyone clap back. Now it’s happened and he doesn’t like it. Well tough titty.

DottieMoon · 28/06/2024 04:15

AmelieTaylor · 28/06/2024 00:54

The other bloke shouldn't dish it out if he can't take a retort.

its no more 'personal' than what he said.

i bet your husband is so pleased you have his back 🙄🙄

I agree. What the colleague said was far worse. I think it’s terrible you are minimising this and more concerned over the comb over comment.

LauderSyme · 28/06/2024 04:17

Why on earth are you more concerned about this mouthy twat's hurt feelings than your husband's?

He started it with the 'personal' comments. He's a jumped-up thin-skinned bully who can't even own his own bald patch.

OnTheRightSideOfGeography · 28/06/2024 04:22

It was a crushingly humiliating comment, but the man thoroughly earned it, and it would have been unfair not to 'pay' it to him!

If he had just made a bad joke - say your DH was very tall and he asked what the weather was like up there - it probably would have been a bit mean; but imagine how you'd feel if you opened your mouth to speak and some turd instantly told you that you must be a terrorist and a murderer - three decades on, as if that weren't bad enough.

I bet this is far from the first time that 'hilarious' morons have made comments like this to your DH; and, like PP, I'm guessing that the other bloke is used to dishing it out but not taking it back.

Well done, DH; my only slight quibble is that it would have been even funnier if he'd said "Really? Comb over here and say that again!" (with emphasis and slow enunciation on the 'comb over' bit)!

JanglingJack · 28/06/2024 04:30

I'm absolutely on your husband's side. You can't get much more personal than accusing somebody of being a member of the IRA based on his accent. I assume him, or people knows lived through the troubles.

A comb over is a comb over ffs. It's a shit way of trying to cover baldness. It's not politics, bombings, peace talks and dead.
It's a few strands of hair!

Good on your husband. If I were his wife, I'd be straight in there with how fucking dare you... Then mention the comb over myself.

Was it a pish do? (haha I meant to write posh) but I'll leave that as is.

PoppyCherryDog · 28/06/2024 04:38

The other guy started it and I think actually worse.

CurlewKate · 28/06/2024 04:39

Probably would have been better if he had responded to what the guy actually said rather than trading insults, but what the first man said was incredibly offensive and xenophobic and should be taken further. I can't understand why you're not 100% with your dp on this. I hate to say this-but is it a reverse?

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 28/06/2024 04:40

Nanaof1 · 28/06/2024 01:24

Good for your DH to not just take the insult as a "joke".
It was personal, so giving back a personal retort was appropriate.

At least he didn't say, "Does your comb-over act as a sail on a windy day?"

😆

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 28/06/2024 04:42

I might have been more tempted to tell the other guy to not be a racist prick, but it’s easy to be wise after the event. If you can’t stand the heat…
he deserved to be hurt, I’m team husband.

insomniacdreams · 28/06/2024 04:43

the xenophobia is real. As a child growing up with two Irish parents, whose accents were feared, and as a consequence we were treated very differently, these types of ‘jokes’ aren’t funny and shouldn’t be tolerated. Pretty ignorant considering their profession.

I don’t agree with the personal come back but it was clearly a retort to an uncomfortable situation.

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 28/06/2024 04:44

OnTheRightSideOfGeography · 28/06/2024 04:22

It was a crushingly humiliating comment, but the man thoroughly earned it, and it would have been unfair not to 'pay' it to him!

If he had just made a bad joke - say your DH was very tall and he asked what the weather was like up there - it probably would have been a bit mean; but imagine how you'd feel if you opened your mouth to speak and some turd instantly told you that you must be a terrorist and a murderer - three decades on, as if that weren't bad enough.

I bet this is far from the first time that 'hilarious' morons have made comments like this to your DH; and, like PP, I'm guessing that the other bloke is used to dishing it out but not taking it back.

Well done, DH; my only slight quibble is that it would have been even funnier if he'd said "Really? Comb over here and say that again!" (with emphasis and slow enunciation on the 'comb over' bit)!

“Comb over here” is nothing short of genius 😆

CharlieUniformNovemberTangoYankee · 28/06/2024 04:44

'Now you're getting personal'?
Comb-over guy can fuck right off with his tedious, offensive, dick-swinging, anti-Irish racism. All very well people on here saying your husband's reply was childish, but frankly I applaud his quick wit and restraint.

LoudSnoringDog · 28/06/2024 04:49

I’d be more offended at a joke that suggests I’m in the IRA.
if the other man can’t take it then he shouldn’t be dishing it out.

OnTheRightSideOfGeography · 28/06/2024 04:55

CharlieUniformNovemberTangoYankee · 28/06/2024 04:44

'Now you're getting personal'?
Comb-over guy can fuck right off with his tedious, offensive, dick-swinging, anti-Irish racism. All very well people on here saying your husband's reply was childish, but frankly I applaud his quick wit and restraint.

Edited

Yes, it's all well and good if he had been the first person to say something like that, and he was likely to feel very contrite and able to be educated, once told why it was so offensive.

But, pound to a penny, somebody like that would have doubled down and said something like "Well, these Paddies clearly don't have any sense of humour, do they?" - determined to (try to) retain dominance in his bullying.

ThingsWillOnlyGetBetter · 28/06/2024 04:56

Proud, quick witted and funny. Bloody love us Irish.

Mr Racist got what was coming for him.

#teamhusband

Louise303 · 28/06/2024 05:00

The other man was being nasty your husband was right to make a joke about the idiots bad hair.

PixiePirate · 28/06/2024 05:05

The more professional response would have been to have been for your husband to have asked the rude man what he meant by that comment, and then let the (probably blustering) response hang there in the air like a bad smell, Your husband’s actual response was fine though imo. The other guy deserved it.

upifpmpyesmyypfie · 28/06/2024 05:10

I’m glad your husband put the man in his place. I’m from Northern Ireland and it pisses me off that people expect us to laugh along with crap like this.

CurlewKate · 28/06/2024 05:25

I've just noticed that it was a networking event for lawyers. A formal complaint to the zenophobe's firm is the way forward.

AnImaginaryCat · 28/06/2024 05:28

No, don't agree with you at all OP. Comb Over just got back what he dished out. In fact Comb Over's comment was more unkind and ceetainly uncalled. Why is Comb Over's feelings more important to you than yoir hisbands?

Also don't agree with Morningsiesta's comment that "English people are always making racist and xenophobic comments and thinking it's okay." That is an unkind and uncalled for comment. Some English people will, sadly, but at no greater rate than other nationalities.