What do you think of my trans child?

[ANAMEF0RATHREAD]

Asking in chat to get a slightly balanced view perhaps.

I'm concerned that my dd now says she is a boy, she's 19.

I used to think that they would be okay but with the politics turning the other way I worry for them so much.
Will they still make friends? will they lose out on jobs? Will they get mocked etc

I am gender critical I guess, in that I don't believe people can change sex but I'm pretty okay with people expressing themself how they want to, but this is my child

Please tell me what you think, I've heard what FWR say, 'they think they're so special, blue hair brigade, naval gazers' etc

I'm gender critical op and work with a young autistic woman who says she has a "husband". That husband is clearly a woman. They are Lesbians. But for whatever reason they have chosen to believe that one of them is a man.

Frankly I couldn't give a crap. It's their business if they want to believe made up nonsense.

I employed this person knowing all of these facts. Because she's good at what she does.

I politely don't comment.
We get along really well 🤷🏻‍♀️

Can you tell me where the evidence base is for this? What research specifically?

Work in academia so always like to see sources.

I'd find a man telling me he was a woman more annoying to be honest.

I don't know who Lia Thomas is? Did he/she/they commit a crime?

Also I don't want to start an acrimonious debate on OP's thread. That was not my intention.

There's a thread in feminism called break it down for me.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/3145470-Break-it-down-for-me

Read it.

Also most men are not a threat to women. Only a minority.

What are you basing this on?

Thanks, going to bow out for now so OP can focus on their original post.

I have some reading to do to try to make sense of the debate.

This.

Feminists don’t hate confused children or teenagers. Much activism is aimed at protecting them from unnecessary drugs or surgery. (Any hostility you see on FWR is likely to be aimed at men trying to demolish women’s rights.)

I think the worry expressed on the feminism boards about say a trans nursery worker or teacher, is when a TRA is in a position of influence over young minds.

Many people see the explosion of numbers of trans people as a kind of social contagion and of course, a medicalised transition is a serious business for young people.

Personally, I find saying HE when I see SHE difficult. I teach at a uni. There are so many trans and NB students with ever changing names and pronouns. I do find it tiresome but you know, they see the world differently. I try. I never think badly of any of them. My young students are usually lovely no matter what they identify as or not, if they are more of my mind and don't believe in identity stuff.

I treat all of my students with respect and in return if I slip up with pronouns, I hope they forgive me.

I do worry about them though. They're often coping with a lot. Taking hormones and trying to work out who they are and who to love.

I don't ever have a problem with an individual trans person in real life. It's the on behalf of people who want to virtue signal and judge people with different opinions that drive me bonkers. And policies that want to assume the one perspective is law. Compelled pronouns and cis and saying everyone has a gender identity etc.

I think that non binary /trans adults who are just living life and not being activists about their gender (lecturing them on how others are being transphonic) get along fine. There is a backlash against gender because unlike gay rights, the activists have tried to force change in the lives of people who don’t believe in gender and that was spoiled the acceptance that “normal” people living “normal” lives had.

Say that I knew your dd as Daisy for 5 years and accidentally called her that because an innocent mistake meant that I forgot to say Dylan. Would she understand that I’m a human who makes mistakes or would Dylan kick off and calm me transphobic? At the end of the day your dd is an adult and I would show her and treat her with respect as long as she wasn’t an activist accusing everyone of being phobic.

The gender identity in school issue worries me as gender being more “trendy” means that other possibilities like being gay or neurodiverse is being overlooked. It’s very worrying that there’s a higher probability of having a gender identity if you’re neurodiverse. Activists are selling a life of feeling included to children who at best is going through the wobbles of adolescence rather than having a situation that can or should be fixed.

Most trans find it miserable, because sex can't be changed and we all know that. ASD is very common in trans. I'd try and convince her not to.

I was not being horrible about your child - nor did I say your child was unintelligent. This concept has been introduced to your child, at some vulnerable period of their life, and they are holding onto it as a lifeline.

At some stage, your child has been introduced to a concept that is the opposite of fact, because humans cannot change sex. Just like believing the earth is flat, that idea that anyone can change sex is contrary to science and true reality.

I do not hate trans people, nor am I “phobic” - and I truly feel devastated that so many autistic children and youth are being swept up in this falsehood. Why can’t any person wear what they want, call themselves whatever name best fits their self perception, be confident and content being themselves - but building that on the basis of their biological reality, rather than a denial of basic fact?

Whilst I wish your child a happy, healthy and full life (as I do for all people), I do not believe that transgenderism/gender identity ideology - which is based in denial of truth and overt delusion - is a path that leads to that.

My heart breaks for anyone who has been caught up in the insidious lies underpinning transgenderism, because it can only ever result in a life of constant cognitive dissonance, an endless yet futile search for validation and persistent denial of reality.

Keep them off Mumsnet!
But seriously, best wishes to your child. My dd has a trans friend - early 20s - and he is so much happier now, despite all the shit he sometimes gets. Young people are so much better at this than us.