What age to insist reluctant child learns to swim?

[Upminster12]

DD has just turned 5, end of Reception. She hates going in swimming pools. I took her as a baby but then COVID happened and by the time we could go back she was 2 and she had such a strong aversion it was basically a phobia. I spent a long time sitting her on the edge of a pool, dangling her legs in then working up to her going in the pool with me carrying her all the time. Gradually things have improved and she will go in but she always wants me close, holding her hand etc.

I want her to learn to swim, it doesn't have to be right now but I'm wondering if there is any point leaving it much longer or whether I should "force" her to take lessons. She REALLY doesn't want to and I can forsee tantrums. But I don't know what else I can do myself, I'm an average swimmer not confident to teach her. I was quoted £60 per hour for individual lessons which is out of the question for me. There are leisure centre classes available locally but I'm worried it will be a disaster. What's the way forward here?

Can you do 1 to 1 lessons at your local pool? It is more expensive but so important that kids learn to swim.

DS did the usual group lessons for several years but got nowhere - but in the end we did a few 121s on a Saturday and he really picked it up quickly (aged about 7 or 8 I think). He now swims like a fish. (He's 16 but once he got the hang he was brilliant, swims in pools, the local river, in the sea here or on holiday, best couple of hundred quid we ever spent)!

My son was the same way! Had a real fear of swimming after Covid at age 5- we booked him onto a local intensive swim school class for a week in the school holidays- they do 5 days in a row, half an hour a day, and the instructors were amazing with him. The lessons were about £15/ day and the beginners is two adults to four children.
They coaxed him into the water and he spent the whole first lesson pretty much koalaed onto one of the instructors. I felt for sure they'd tell us not to come back for the week and was so embarrassed but they were so reassuring. By the end of the week they had him with a pool noodle under him holding onto a float actually kicking without being held. I think the every day thing helped get him over that hump, (and he had a pack of his favourite ice creams in the freezer and knew he'd get one when we got home if he tried for the teachers!). We have now done about another six weeks of intensive swim classes spread over the last year and a half and he is almost swimming without any flotation devices. The main thing is he'll now tell you he LOVES swimming and gets excited to go. The teachers were miracle workers.

Just wanted to reassure you it does turn itself around, and much quicker than you'd imagine!

We go to a national swimming course in private pools eg university ones. Appears to be in many towns and cities. My daughter (then 5) spent most of first lesson on the side howling. It was awful for both of us. The coordinator played watering the ducks and picking up light up stuff on the edge with hwr whilst the group teacher carried on with the others. then coordinator got in pool and encouraged her in. She was thrilled. Fast forward 6 months and she’s in group 3 and swimming unaided learning technique. The first few I wanted to cry (like her) but I would persevere personally in your situation knowing our progress. it’s about finding small group sessions maybe?

Her lessons are only 4-6 people at a time and half hour long. £44 a month. @swim we do. 4 year old also getting on well and now in swim 2 https://www.swim.co.uk/ good luck!

Yes, if you can find a really warm fun pool this sounds like a good idea. You don't want her to be the only child in her year at primary school who won't go in the water.

Get a paddling pool for the summer. Get toys in the bath. Water is water and it can be fun.

I suspect mum anxiety of drowning, if child doesn't learn to swim, is spilling over into the fun of water.

Always good to get another child friend at a young age - and give them armbands and inflatables.

The trick is feeling safe in water first, then learning to swim.

I think babyhood at swimming pools, with a mum not capable to teach swimming herself, was with the best intentions, "trying to run before you can walk".

I think our school started doing lessons in Y3, but it's very patchy, about 4 lessons a year (I'm sure we did it every week in the 80s). My DD (10) was reluctant until this year, she enjoyed the few lessons they had with school so I booked her in at the leisure centre. It's amazing how quickly her confidence has grown in a group, compared to just with us. Does she need to swim though? It's just I know that my mum still has a fear after water after her dad insisted on her learning to swim as a child. I could only manage a width by the end of school, but picked it up myself living in Australia at 25 and wanting to do it at that point.

She might surprise you. At 4 - a year ago - my oldest (also in reception) was a total limpet in the water, gripping us with with every limb, very nervous and wanting a toddler vest and all the floatation aids. She’s also had some medical things that meant we couldn't really start earlier but about six weeks ago ( so a year on - with very little swimming in between), I spoke to her about her schoolfriends’ swimming lessons and asked if she wanted to go. She did, so enrolled her. Surprised to find she was super excited to for her first lesson - no armbands, no vest and apparently no problem! Came back raving about it . The instructor told my husband she floated well and would pick it up really fast, and she is. She can't wait for her lesson now and is like a different kid in the water - leaping off the side into our arms, asking older kids to teach her things etc. I’d give it a little time, offer opportunity but not pressure her, and talk about friends’
School friends’ swimming lessons etc, whether they enjoy it, and - eventually - whether she thinks she might. I’d also look at other gross motor stuff too - is she generally not so confident physically? Is there anything she would like to do that night help with that? Mine has been a later developer on that front but gymnastics, which she asked to do, has really helped and she has suddenly had a leap forward in Co-ordination and confidence lately, which I think has helped! Also check out what is actually involved at your local
pool - amazing what kids will do with ppl who aren't their parents and our ‘group lesson’ is actually a group of three kids with two instructors and new joiners are 1:1 for the first couple of lessons. It’s the latest slot of the day so possibly we benefit from that in terms of ratio - i’d give your pool a call to check their setup!

There’s really no need to force it. It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t learn for a few more years. She’s far more likely to be successful at it if she learns when she’s ready.

I appreciate it might not be in budget, but if it is, a weekend somewhere with a warm and fun pool, maybe with a friend who likes swimming in tow, might work. I know several kids who hated the local (boring) pool but transformed into fish at the inclusion of slides, bubble pools, inflatables, etc in a holiday environment.