WWYD about lying hairdresser?

[CharDee]

I was bridesmaid at a wedding yesterday. The bride wanted to spend the morning with her mum and sister who is MOH and then the bridesmaids turn up at 12 for photos and to get dressed. All bridesmaids were asked to do their own hair and makeup so before Christmas I booked with my regular hair dresser for her to do my hair and makeup yesterday morning. My appointment was at 9. I have been going to the same hairdresser for the past 7 years and go roughly every 3 months for a colour and book hair/make up for special occasions because I am genuinely terrible at styling my own hair! It’s something that she knows and often jokes about! I also don’t own much makeup as I don’t wear it often.

On Friday night just after 11 I got a message from my hairdresser to say it was her husband messaging and that she was currently in a&e very unwell, would likely be there for hours as she hadn’t been seen yet and she needed to cancel my appointment. Obviously I replied and thanked him for letting me know and sent my well wishes.

Being ill is completely unavoidable and although it inconvenienced me, I was more concerned about her health. The late hour meant that I couldn’t get in touch with anyone else and even though I did call a few local salons as soon as they opened on Saturday morning, the only appointment was one late in the afternoon.

I managed to do my own hair, just straightened it and put a nice clip in. I put a bit of makeup on but it didn’t look that good! The other bridesmaids are completely different skin tones so they were able to help a little. I felt a bit rubbish but had a good time anyway, just didn’t feel very special! I have very low self esteem at the moment and felt so washed out standing with the stunning bride and beautiful bridesmaids. It really hasn’t helped.

Whilst waiting for the reception I was on instagram and saw a friend’s story. She had gone on her hen do abroad that morning. She shared photos of the airport which were from 6:30 in the morning and she’s there with all her friends all posing with drinks. My hairdresser was one of them. It’s definitely her and we have both spoken about hen do friend being a mutual friend. I went on to friends Facebook profile and saw they’d all been for a meal and then stayed in an apartment the night before and hairdresser was in the photos but not tagged. There was a video of the hen doing something that was posted at 11:30 and hairdresser is there in the background laughing with someone else. In the actual video the hen said something about it being nearly midnight and how she needed her beauty sleep.

I paid a 50% deposit for my appointment and in the message her husband said that she would transfer the deposit to my next appointment which is booked for a few weeks time for a colour. I am a regular customer and this appointment was made months ago. If she had double booked herself and said she had this hen do then I would have understood and had time to book elsewhere. Instead she has lied about it and left me completely stuck.

Would you contact her when she’s back from the hen do and ask her about it? Would you cancel the upcoming appointment? Would you just let it go?

I’m trying to work out a scenario where she hasn’t lied but she was hardly going to be able to do my hair whilst on a flight to Ibiza even if she wasn’t ill.

😆🤣☔️ (no chin straps available 🤪)

I think you’ve handled it pretty well @CharDee . I’d be fuming, like you I’m no good at hair and makeup so if I was planning something big and booked an appointment with my regular hairdresser I’d expect to be treated with respect. I wouldn’t say I have low self esteem but I do struggle with my weight and have chronic health issues which have resulted in depression at times. So I can understand how much of a big deal this would be to have someone who you expected to help you make the most of yourself (for want of better words), not just let you down but completely lie to you, it’s disgraceful behaviour.

I hope you get your refund. I know you said that she rents space in her friends salon, my hairdresser dose this but I know the owner of the salon would not be happy with my hairdresser if she did something like this, as it’s her salon name that’s at risk to. I would absolutely leave a review even if she refunds. There could be others she lied to.

I doubt someone who hands out their bank details to multiple people for deposits has high security tolerances.

This is such a mumsnet nonsense comment. All over mumsnet you see this “I’m not giving out my bank details” hysteria.

NO ONE CAN DO ANYTHING WITH THEM. Bank details are to receive payments. That’s it. No risk as an individual.

But since this is a business, also no risk at all. And totally standard for businesses to give out bank details on their invoices.

I thought you could set up a DD with account number and sort code.

If anyone tried that, the text message confirming it would go to the account owner’s phone, the letter confirming it would go to the account owner’s house and the direct debit would appear on their banking screen under their direct debits. You cancel it and report to your bank.

It isn’t a fraud which really happens.

The hairdresser is admitting it by saying “when I’m back” - she slipped up there !
if she was in hospital/ill she’d say “when I’m home” or when I’m better etc

I've read some stupid things on MN but this is one of the most daft.

@Theredoubtableskins You are a prime candidate for a scam if you seriously think no one can do anything with your bank account details.

You can be a victim of identity theft with just your name and address FFS.

Wake up.

Here's a suggestion before you start accusing people of hysteria - try googling 'what can a scammer do with bank account details' for a little bit of self education.

Criminals who pay for botnet/netbot lists will pay more for ones including bank details. If you email anyone your bank details from an account potentially open to being hacked (free accounts without business security protection) you should delete that email. You know those random emails you get from friends that have a link to some spam in them - means the email address has been hacked and part of a botnet. If your email account is hacked and your bank info or credit card info is openly in your emails anywhere, then you are at risk of these sorts of scams.

if it's a business the deposit is probably made online via a secure website.

Fair enough but whats the huge risk to the hairdresser to log in via the banking app and return the funds?

Talk to her about it. Bw clear she should have come clean cos it left you with nowhere to go.

I'd get my money back and go elsewhere.

How utterly unprofessional - she doesn't value your business or you.

People know exactly what they are doing!! If it's a mutual friend - did the mutual friend know about this aswell. Funny how she wasn't tagged. Anyone over the age of 12 who lies about being unwell especially in hospital and be stupid enough to be plastered all over Facebook and get her husband to send calculated timed texts so you couldn't do anything about it - is in my mind is an absolute dickhead. She sound like ones these people that you wouldn't even be able to reason with, so I wouldn't even explain why. Remove yourself from the situation and never have anything to do with her again. But Send her husband a message with picture of her out that night showing the dates and ask him for your deposit back and put your account detail as in there. He told you this - so that way the will be no argument - she will lash out on him for "fucking it up" but really she is just humiliated for getting caught out and he will have no choice but send he money - win win all round! She won't be able to face you again and she will shit herself that you may have told the mutual friend

This.
maybe in future you need to do all the driving of the girls around and when they come over you and DH need to stay clear!
I think in your position I’d possibly talk to niece about the friends crush and ask her to chat to her friend about how inappropriate it is and disrespectful to you it is for her to ‘tell DH how she feels!’ You’re being too kind of you continue to let her come round… she wants your husband @CharDee & is likely to throw herself at him at some point! Stop this now and protect your husband from any allegations!

Instigate a money claim against her with costs for your time etc.

@CharDee if you don't usually wear makeup it is quite likely that you'd have viewed the photos as you not looking good, but for different reasons. I don't 'do' hair and makeup but ex mil was very keen on how things look so paid for me to have my hair and makeup done for sister in laws wedding. I hated the photos, I don't look like me. I know you already know this, but hair and makeup won't change how you feel about yourself, that will take a lot more work and being kind to yourself x

@CharDee - just make sure that DH has her blocked on all his social media (for his protection) and that he does not interact with her at all. I would also speak to Emma’s mum about getting Emma some therapy.

@CharDee make sure you've saved her Facebook message to you from her "husband" claiming she was in A&E, and her Instagram posts and stories. That way you have proof, in case she lies or tries to cause you trouble in any way.

I'd want revenge, so I personally would include this evidence in a bad review of her.

No wires have been crossed so why pretend they have been?

Unless she also lied to the husband and told him she was in A&E when she was on her way to Ibiza 😂

But left him with her phone for some reason 🤔

You don’t seem very angry that Emma, - who is a 22 year old woman that you have welcomed into your home, is imminently intending to declare her love for your husband! Presumably she hopes that he’ll leave you to be with her, I’ve never seen such a blasé reaction to such threat and disloyalty.

I wouldn't wait for her to get back. I'd message her now and hopefully ruin her time there a bit. Then I'd ask for a refund and cancel the next appointment. I'd also put what she's done all over SM and local fb pages etc and label her a flake.

This

I think there is some confusion over which details are which. People can only pay in to an account with the sort code and account number, no one can remove funds with this information. The long card number, expiry date and security code are the details needed to remove funds, anyone can remove money from an account with those details.

Awful experience for you with the hairdresser. If you paid deposits by credit card, can’t you now put retrieval of funds in the capable hands of card issuer and save yourself having to deal with this shabby woman personally?

100% never go back and message re deposit. She must’ve known about hen do for ages so why didn’t she tell you?
Also disgusting to lie about health - I hate people who do this anyway.

I didn't pay by credit card so am not protected that way. She's posted that she won't be looking at her messages until she's back so there's no point me messaging again for the refund. I'll wait and see if she gets in touch on Saturday and if not message Sunday. After I get the money back I will let her know personally how shitty I think she's been before leaving a review.

Spoke to DH about Emma and he spoke to DN who is going to talk to Emma today.