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WWYD about lying hairdresser?

488 replies

CharDee · 26/05/2024 21:16

I was bridesmaid at a wedding yesterday. The bride wanted to spend the morning with her mum and sister who is MOH and then the bridesmaids turn up at 12 for photos and to get dressed. All bridesmaids were asked to do their own hair and makeup so before Christmas I booked with my regular hair dresser for her to do my hair and makeup yesterday morning. My appointment was at 9. I have been going to the same hairdresser for the past 7 years and go roughly every 3 months for a colour and book hair/make up for special occasions because I am genuinely terrible at styling my own hair! It’s something that she knows and often jokes about! I also don’t own much makeup as I don’t wear it often.

On Friday night just after 11 I got a message from my hairdresser to say it was her husband messaging and that she was currently in a&e very unwell, would likely be there for hours as she hadn’t been seen yet and she needed to cancel my appointment. Obviously I replied and thanked him for letting me know and sent my well wishes.

Being ill is completely unavoidable and although it inconvenienced me, I was more concerned about her health. The late hour meant that I couldn’t get in touch with anyone else and even though I did call a few local salons as soon as they opened on Saturday morning, the only appointment was one late in the afternoon.

I managed to do my own hair, just straightened it and put a nice clip in. I put a bit of makeup on but it didn’t look that good! The other bridesmaids are completely different skin tones so they were able to help a little. I felt a bit rubbish but had a good time anyway, just didn’t feel very special! I have very low self esteem at the moment and felt so washed out standing with the stunning bride and beautiful bridesmaids. It really hasn’t helped.

Whilst waiting for the reception I was on instagram and saw a friend’s story. She had gone on her hen do abroad that morning. She shared photos of the airport which were from 6:30 in the morning and she’s there with all her friends all posing with drinks. My hairdresser was one of them. It’s definitely her and we have both spoken about hen do friend being a mutual friend. I went on to friends Facebook profile and saw they’d all been for a meal and then stayed in an apartment the night before and hairdresser was in the photos but not tagged. There was a video of the hen doing something that was posted at 11:30 and hairdresser is there in the background laughing with someone else. In the actual video the hen said something about it being nearly midnight and how she needed her beauty sleep.

I paid a 50% deposit for my appointment and in the message her husband said that she would transfer the deposit to my next appointment which is booked for a few weeks time for a colour. I am a regular customer and this appointment was made months ago. If she had double booked herself and said she had this hen do then I would have understood and had time to book elsewhere. Instead she has lied about it and left me completely stuck.

Would you contact her when she’s back from the hen do and ask her about it? Would you cancel the upcoming appointment? Would you just let it go?

I’m trying to work out a scenario where she hasn’t lied but she was hardly going to be able to do my hair whilst on a flight to Ibiza even if she wasn’t ill.

OP posts:
CharDee · 28/05/2024 15:56

Ironically, the deposit thing only started last year when she had been let down by clients. You have to book online and it automatically asks for a deposit.

OP posts:
generella · 28/05/2024 16:01

OP, the information about your niece is very identifiable - is that what you intended?

PilgrimQuill · 28/05/2024 16:03

CharDee · 26/05/2024 21:16

I was bridesmaid at a wedding yesterday. The bride wanted to spend the morning with her mum and sister who is MOH and then the bridesmaids turn up at 12 for photos and to get dressed. All bridesmaids were asked to do their own hair and makeup so before Christmas I booked with my regular hair dresser for her to do my hair and makeup yesterday morning. My appointment was at 9. I have been going to the same hairdresser for the past 7 years and go roughly every 3 months for a colour and book hair/make up for special occasions because I am genuinely terrible at styling my own hair! It’s something that she knows and often jokes about! I also don’t own much makeup as I don’t wear it often.

On Friday night just after 11 I got a message from my hairdresser to say it was her husband messaging and that she was currently in a&e very unwell, would likely be there for hours as she hadn’t been seen yet and she needed to cancel my appointment. Obviously I replied and thanked him for letting me know and sent my well wishes.

Being ill is completely unavoidable and although it inconvenienced me, I was more concerned about her health. The late hour meant that I couldn’t get in touch with anyone else and even though I did call a few local salons as soon as they opened on Saturday morning, the only appointment was one late in the afternoon.

I managed to do my own hair, just straightened it and put a nice clip in. I put a bit of makeup on but it didn’t look that good! The other bridesmaids are completely different skin tones so they were able to help a little. I felt a bit rubbish but had a good time anyway, just didn’t feel very special! I have very low self esteem at the moment and felt so washed out standing with the stunning bride and beautiful bridesmaids. It really hasn’t helped.

Whilst waiting for the reception I was on instagram and saw a friend’s story. She had gone on her hen do abroad that morning. She shared photos of the airport which were from 6:30 in the morning and she’s there with all her friends all posing with drinks. My hairdresser was one of them. It’s definitely her and we have both spoken about hen do friend being a mutual friend. I went on to friends Facebook profile and saw they’d all been for a meal and then stayed in an apartment the night before and hairdresser was in the photos but not tagged. There was a video of the hen doing something that was posted at 11:30 and hairdresser is there in the background laughing with someone else. In the actual video the hen said something about it being nearly midnight and how she needed her beauty sleep.

I paid a 50% deposit for my appointment and in the message her husband said that she would transfer the deposit to my next appointment which is booked for a few weeks time for a colour. I am a regular customer and this appointment was made months ago. If she had double booked herself and said she had this hen do then I would have understood and had time to book elsewhere. Instead she has lied about it and left me completely stuck.

Would you contact her when she’s back from the hen do and ask her about it? Would you cancel the upcoming appointment? Would you just let it go?

I’m trying to work out a scenario where she hasn’t lied but she was hardly going to be able to do my hair whilst on a flight to Ibiza even if she wasn’t ill.

Hi CharDee there are two things I should like to perhaps highlight. First, you say you felt rubbish against the others but you were picked to be a bridesmaid by someone who wanted you to be there, and the tone of your post indicates that you are actually a very beautiful person. You have doubts about being aggressive for instance. Second, think of the very extreme and elaborate lie. Not a casual one. I think this indicates your hairdresser sets a very high value on you as a friend and a client. I think you should have a quiet conversation with her to find out the truth - and then decide whether or not you want to dispense with her services. If you have been going to her for 7 years she is obviously doing a good job. Rather than trash something good, you might even get a freebie colour next time... Just a couple of thoughts anyway.

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Feelsodrained · 28/05/2024 16:08

generella · 28/05/2024 16:01

OP, the information about your niece is very identifiable - is that what you intended?

Come on, how is it identifiable? It’s not that unusual to live with your aunt. It’s no more identifiable than anything else on here.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 28/05/2024 16:22

PilgrimQuill · 28/05/2024 16:03

Hi CharDee there are two things I should like to perhaps highlight. First, you say you felt rubbish against the others but you were picked to be a bridesmaid by someone who wanted you to be there, and the tone of your post indicates that you are actually a very beautiful person. You have doubts about being aggressive for instance. Second, think of the very extreme and elaborate lie. Not a casual one. I think this indicates your hairdresser sets a very high value on you as a friend and a client. I think you should have a quiet conversation with her to find out the truth - and then decide whether or not you want to dispense with her services. If you have been going to her for 7 years she is obviously doing a good job. Rather than trash something good, you might even get a freebie colour next time... Just a couple of thoughts anyway.

Are you her hairdresser here?!

The hairdresser is a lying woman providing a service and keeping OP’s deposit. It’s not just a simple error of eg mixing OP up with another appointment as she couldn’t even be arsed to tell OP who had to be let down and be told by the hairdresser (presumably remembered her booking with OP when she was in town Ibiza. Talk about a low bar to set. And for what it’s worth hairdressers are not friends they’re client/salon. I learnt that the hard way with a previous hairdresser of mine.

Razorwire · 28/05/2024 16:50

Once you hairdresser isn’t trusted, you will hate everything she does. Time for a change.

MrTiddlesTheCat · 28/05/2024 16:55

PilgrimQuill · 28/05/2024 16:03

Hi CharDee there are two things I should like to perhaps highlight. First, you say you felt rubbish against the others but you were picked to be a bridesmaid by someone who wanted you to be there, and the tone of your post indicates that you are actually a very beautiful person. You have doubts about being aggressive for instance. Second, think of the very extreme and elaborate lie. Not a casual one. I think this indicates your hairdresser sets a very high value on you as a friend and a client. I think you should have a quiet conversation with her to find out the truth - and then decide whether or not you want to dispense with her services. If you have been going to her for 7 years she is obviously doing a good job. Rather than trash something good, you might even get a freebie colour next time... Just a couple of thoughts anyway.

In what twisted reality does a 'very extreme and elaborate lie' indicate setting a very high value on a relationship?

It doesn't. It shows contempt and disrespect.

Josette77 · 28/05/2024 16:59

Op your DH stays away from Dn's friends. No more socializing with them. End of story.

Emma clearly thinks she has a chance with him.

What did he say when you told him?

peachie82 · 28/05/2024 17:15

CharDee · 27/05/2024 14:18

Also, my niece and DH are just wonderful humans. I am so grateful for them both.

They have such a lovely relationship that is more like big brother, little sister than uncle and niece. She's had a tough few years and she came

We all support each other when we need it and DS who is 9 loves having her around.

You may not have had the perfect haircut make up at the wedding but you have the perfect man, so therefore you win! 🥇

Elizo · 28/05/2024 17:24

I would text and say 'Hope you had a fab hen do. Please could I get the cash refunded to my account? Many thanks'

peachie82 · 28/05/2024 17:29

HaveABlastOfThisMatrix · 28/05/2024 07:22

Your husband? Amazing.
Your niece? Amazing.
Your messages to your 'poorly' hairdresser? Bloody amazing.
Your hairdresser. Pathetic.
You in general? Absolutely bloody amazing! Grin

This, a million times. I want to be mates with you, you sound like a dream!

tkwal · 28/05/2024 17:34

I'd go for the next appointment and be straight with her. Tell her you're an adult and would have understood the truth but you hate being told lies. I'd expect an apology (and maybe a discount) and leave it there. Hairdressers who "know" your hair are hard to come by

Allthehorsesintheworld · 28/05/2024 17:37

I think you need to talk to DH about the 21 year old with the crush. He can make sure he’s not alone with her, doesn’t stand too close etc… see if it dies out. If not it’s time for someone to have a firm word with her. Her mum, you or your DN.

Chaiilatte · 28/05/2024 17:40

So she must've known well in advance she would be travelling and have to cancel your apt? Why on earth did she leave it until the night before. So cruel of her! I'd send a message that you don't wish to transfer your deposit over to the next appointment as you've lost all faith in her now and you want your money back! Plus I'd leave her a bad review. I don't normally like to leave bad reviews and effect people's livelihood, but the fact she had planned this trip, and didn't have the courtesy to let you know in time to find someone else is worth a bad review!

Calliopespa · 28/05/2024 17:44

LittleMissSleepyUK · 26/05/2024 21:31

No way would I be using her again.

ask for deposit back and if she says no send her an Instagram screenshot

I don’t see how she can say no to refunding the deposit. It’s to protect her against OP cancelling - and op didn’t.

afterfive · 28/05/2024 17:45

peachie82 · 28/05/2024 17:29

This, a million times. I want to be mates with you, you sound like a dream!

Don’t forget:

Our garden has some "instagrammable" spots which were well utilised.

Sometimesright · 28/05/2024 17:45

I wouldn’t use her again on principle!
She let you down at the last minute and lied to you, also she took money under false pretences! She is a cf!
If she had been honest you could have got someone else. Instead she just dumped it on you and didn’t even do her own dirty work! Text her, tell her to transfer your deposit back to you as you have found another hairdresser for all your future appointments and that you hoped she enjoyed her weekend away!!!
then go for someone new they might be the best change ever!

Calliopespa · 28/05/2024 17:46

Elizo · 28/05/2024 17:24

I would text and say 'Hope you had a fab hen do. Please could I get the cash refunded to my account? Many thanks'

…as there won’t be a next time.”

Sennelier1 · 28/05/2024 17:49

I would ask for my deposit back and never go back to her salon again. She makes you feel dependa t on her and that's not necessary. There are plenty of other hairdressers you can go to.

Cumbrianinyorkshire · 28/05/2024 18:02

I would cancel and have my deposit refunded. After seven years as her customer you deserved the truth at the very least. Find another hairdresser.

OldPerson · 28/05/2024 18:10

I would definitely send a meesage detailing the photos seen of the Hen Party and put the ball in her court. Also ask for an immediate return of your deposit.

It's probably in your longterm interests to find another hairdresser - because once the trust has gone, it's gone. You'll be too stressed about her reliability even if you wanted to book her for hair and make up again.

Ask aound for recommendations. Maybe either bride or bridemaids who looked stunning live near you?

Ralphisfamous · 28/05/2024 18:12

If the video is still available send her a link to the video and then ask for the deposit back. Say you’re disappointed about the lying.

Screenshot the key bits in the video and make sure the date and time are on there in case tries to gaslight and say it wasn’t her.

See what she says and based on that you can decide if you want to carry on with the friendship or get your hair done by her.

I wouldn’t though. She is an absolute baby not just telling the truth. What a turn off. As soon as she realised she had this hen do why not just apologise that she can’t honour your appointment? Then you’d have had time to make other arrangement's.

Never mind making it up that story. Pathetic.

KK42S · 28/05/2024 18:13

Cumbrianinyorkshire · 28/05/2024 18:02

I would cancel and have my deposit refunded. After seven years as her customer you deserved the truth at the very least. Find another hairdresser.

So you would do EXACTLY what OP has already done then? Thanks for that 😂

Pinkfluff76 · 28/05/2024 18:23

I’d ask for my money back and never go to her again. How awful for you, so sorry. What a shame though. Could’ve been so easily avoided if she’d just been honest!

NatM70 · 28/05/2024 18:29

Stylist here.
I would never do this to someone.

Absolutely shocking behaviour.
People who lie shouldn't be so thick as to post all over SM 🤬

Get your money back and find someone who doesn't lie their tits off.
I'd be absolutely gunning for her!

You deserve better.
Stand up for yourself and threaten bad reviews, etc.

I'm furious for you!!!