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CF allotment thief thread no 4 - Babs’s dodgy solicitor and TV producers looking to cast for the role of Penfold?

990 replies

YaMuvva · 09/05/2024 15:24

New thread! Last one was here
www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5049200-cf-allotment-thief-part-3-the-plot-thickens-and-auditions-begin-for-the-west-end-musical?page=38&reply=135136744

So a quick update.

DH dropped me off for my surgery this morning then dropped the kids at school before heading to the allotment. Babs was there gardening as were some other people on their own plots. All her crap was still there

DH went up and reminded her that she needs to be off the plot by the 20th. She said that she is awaiting advice from her solicitor to see if she can challenge us. She also said if the solicitor says she has to be off, she will be gone by the 20th but isn’t giving it up without checking if she has rights first. She did a fair bit of guilt tripping to DH about how she has spent 10 years being part of a community and having a hobby and she now has to give it all up but he held strong and told her, unless she comes back with a legitimate legal claim her property will be off the allotment by the 21st - wether it’s removed by her or by him.

However - enter Penfold stage right

Penfold is what we are calling the allotment neighbour who marched over from the other side of the plots (because that’s who he looks like). He started shouting at DH saying “You’re a bully! Fancy picking on an old lady and taking her allotment off her after all her years of hard work”. He pointed out it’s his allotment now and Penfold said that “just because your name is on a piece of paper it doesn’t give you the right to steal it off it’s rightful owner”. He then start saying “What do you know about gardening pretty boy? These allotments should be for real gardeners not pretty boys like you”

When DH told me this I laughed so hard I thought my stitches may burst 😂 DH IS very pretty but he’s also mid-40’s and hasn’t been called pretty in many many years. We are in semi-rural Yorkshire though and a man wearing a top that isn’t either blue black or white is considered a feminine.

When DH stated he does actually know about gardening, Penfold was all “Yeah right yeah right all you know about is putting your make up on” 🤣🤣 and said how these allotment owners have been around for decades he can’t just barge in and kick people out. DH said he was half expecting Penfold to say “this is a local allotment for local people”.

Then it was BABS of all people who told Penfold to STFU. Not quite those words but she said “oh do calm down Nigel”. The other plot owners just kept their heads down apparently. DH took off in the end but he is considering buying a Danger Mouse t-shirt to wear when he gardens. I’ve told him I can help him apply his make up 😂.

Anyway Babs’s words don’t exactly fill me with confidence but it’s better than flat out refusing to leave I suppose. I’m absolutely confident that legally she hasn’t a leg to stand on, but that doesn’t mean some dodgy solicitor won’t claim otherwise for a bit of easy money off her. Either way unless there is a claim that has legs (highly unlikely) DH will be round on the 21st to set up his stuff. PP were right about insane allotment owners - but we are just gonna have to lump it and not let Penfold ruin our time there.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
chubbybubbyandmrwrinkles · 09/05/2024 16:44

OP out of interest what colour was DH's top?!

Jaboody · 09/05/2024 16:48

F

LauderSyme · 09/05/2024 16:52

At the allotment... Simply imagine the boomerang is a courgette.

LlynTegid · 09/05/2024 16:54

Tell Nigel that even Yorkshire Cricket Club would not accept his comments.

theholesinmyapologies · 09/05/2024 16:56

Good grief.

Babs isn't an 'old lady'.
Babs was using the plot with permission of the owner at the time, so she can't claim adverse possession.
Babs no longer has permission of the (current) owner and knew this day was coming.
Babs has had plenty of time to vacate.
However, Babs may be seen as a cash cow by a sleazy solicitor who may try to drag it out for a bit, but that won't change the result.
Babs needs to get her own land/allotment if she wants to keep gardening near her friends.

Perhaps Penfold can share his if he's so 'outraged' by the owner of a plot of land actually wanting to use their own plot of land.

Glad the surgery went well, OP. Hope you heal enough so you can sit in a lounge chair and watch your pretty boy garden in 10 days.

AGlinnerOfHope · 09/05/2024 16:58

I think pretty boy will need a charm offensive when he moves in- a well supplied cake tin will help, and perhaps a bit of allotment wine at the back of the shed.

YaMuvva · 09/05/2024 16:59

Ooh I know who could play Penfold! Jason Watkins?

also who else is gonna play these god awful circulation stockings that are hotter than the centre of the sun and keep moving about so that my little trotters poke through? The Weasley Twins? 😂

OP posts:
YaMuvva · 09/05/2024 17:01

Silvers11 · 09/05/2024 16:39

@YaMuvva Glad the op went ok, and clearly you didn't have to wait hours before you got the op.

I had a laugh abut 'Penfold' but if Babs is still there and so are all her plants and shed, are you sure your OH can just go in on 21st May if Babs is still there and get rid of all her stuff - or are you going to have to do some kind of formal eviction? Last thing either of you need is to act illegally or that will give her ammunition? What did your solicitor say about that, if she doesn't respond to the letter?

So he is going to call the solicitor to check but as far as we are concerned the ‘notice’ was a courtesy because formal notice isn’t needed and technically we can go now and boot her out if we wanted to. So unless she comes up with a legitimate challenge our plans for the 21st will go abead

OP posts:
allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 09/05/2024 17:01

@YaMuvva hey OP if your hubby wants to camp out from midnight on the 20th at YOUR allotment then I can send a dangermouse duvet cover and pillow slip down for him!!! let me know! 😂

YaMuvva · 09/05/2024 17:02

chubbybubbyandmrwrinkles · 09/05/2024 16:44

OP out of interest what colour was DH's top?!

Mauve pink! But he’s very stocky so he still looks blokey in it

OP posts:
YaMuvva · 09/05/2024 17:03

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 09/05/2024 17:01

@YaMuvva hey OP if your hubby wants to camp out from midnight on the 20th at YOUR allotment then I can send a dangermouse duvet cover and pillow slip down for him!!! let me know! 😂

Edited

Love this!

OP posts:
fettybord · 09/05/2024 17:08

Bloody hell, it gets crazier and crazier!

AloeVerity · 09/05/2024 17:09

I’d be telling Penfold to do one with his homophobic slurs.

blue345 · 09/05/2024 17:13

also who else is gonna play these god awful circulation stockings that are hotter than the centre of the sun and keep moving about so that my little trotters poke through?

I had these for two months after my hip replacements and the toe hole drove me nuts. The doctor pointed out that only the ankle up was elasticated/compressing so I cut off the foot end....bliss.

Delphinium20 · 09/05/2024 17:16

WOW! What a bunch of CF!!

YaMuvva · 09/05/2024 17:19

blue345 · 09/05/2024 17:13

also who else is gonna play these god awful circulation stockings that are hotter than the centre of the sun and keep moving about so that my little trotters poke through?

I had these for two months after my hip replacements and the toe hole drove me nuts. The doctor pointed out that only the ankle up was elasticated/compressing so I cut off the foot end....bliss.

I’ve taken them off and I’m hiding my legs, they are so uncomfortable (I will pop them back on soon I know they’re important.

2 months! Poor you! Mine are only for a week

OP posts:
MarkWithaC · 09/05/2024 17:26

Hope you're feeling OK, OP. Thanks for updating.

My two-penn'orth: Babs is bluffing and has never been near a solicitor.

I also thought Jason Watkins for Penfold. Or Reece Shearsmith for a more antic feel.

Foggymcfogson · 09/05/2024 17:26

When you get your allotment back please get one of those gnomes that flashes it's bum!..

Unopenedpackofmenssocks · 09/05/2024 17:27

Did you not say that your DH was ex-forces?

It would have been very tempting to look Penfold in the eye and say “I am a trained killer”.

Why is the ire not being directed at Sally? She's the one who sold you the allotment!

shenandoahvalley · 09/05/2024 17:27

Oooh, I didn’t realise this was still running. I caught the first thread and now you’re onto the fourth!

I’m afraid this whole thing is screaming Last of the Summer Wine at me. I’m envisioning Babs as Howard’s floozy, your stockings like tight versions of Nora Barry’s, and Penfold like a short, bald and shiny version of the corporal/general/major.

More seriously, I do worry about sabotage from penfold once you start working your allotment. CCTV cameras are a must!

crumbpet · 09/05/2024 17:30

Have you changed sufficient details? This situation is very specific otherwise.

Igmum · 09/05/2024 17:30

I can;t believe this is on the fourth thread either! Team Pretty Boy all the way here - good luck your DH and wishing you a swift recovery

REP22 · 09/05/2024 17:37

Steve Pemberton is the only right choice to play Penfold. And possibly also Babs.

Couldn't believe it when this thread popped up and it's all continuing on! I read the first couple of threads but didn't keep up. You write so well @YaMuvva - these are a definite shoe-in for MN Classics.

I hope your surgery went well and you make a good and swift recovery. x

PineappleTime · 09/05/2024 17:40

Shameless place marking! Thanks for the distraction these threads are awesome!

PleaseletitbeSpring · 09/05/2024 17:40

This is insane! Now another villager getting involved. I imagine him as being a bit of a Captain Mainwaring. He thinks of your husband as Pike. I’d love to see that man’s face once your “pretty boy” turns up to claim his own plot of land on the 21st.

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