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CF allotment thief thread no 4 - Babs’s dodgy solicitor and TV producers looking to cast for the role of Penfold?

990 replies

YaMuvva · 09/05/2024 15:24

New thread! Last one was here
www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5049200-cf-allotment-thief-part-3-the-plot-thickens-and-auditions-begin-for-the-west-end-musical?page=38&reply=135136744

So a quick update.

DH dropped me off for my surgery this morning then dropped the kids at school before heading to the allotment. Babs was there gardening as were some other people on their own plots. All her crap was still there

DH went up and reminded her that she needs to be off the plot by the 20th. She said that she is awaiting advice from her solicitor to see if she can challenge us. She also said if the solicitor says she has to be off, she will be gone by the 20th but isn’t giving it up without checking if she has rights first. She did a fair bit of guilt tripping to DH about how she has spent 10 years being part of a community and having a hobby and she now has to give it all up but he held strong and told her, unless she comes back with a legitimate legal claim her property will be off the allotment by the 21st - wether it’s removed by her or by him.

However - enter Penfold stage right

Penfold is what we are calling the allotment neighbour who marched over from the other side of the plots (because that’s who he looks like). He started shouting at DH saying “You’re a bully! Fancy picking on an old lady and taking her allotment off her after all her years of hard work”. He pointed out it’s his allotment now and Penfold said that “just because your name is on a piece of paper it doesn’t give you the right to steal it off it’s rightful owner”. He then start saying “What do you know about gardening pretty boy? These allotments should be for real gardeners not pretty boys like you”

When DH told me this I laughed so hard I thought my stitches may burst 😂 DH IS very pretty but he’s also mid-40’s and hasn’t been called pretty in many many years. We are in semi-rural Yorkshire though and a man wearing a top that isn’t either blue black or white is considered a feminine.

When DH stated he does actually know about gardening, Penfold was all “Yeah right yeah right all you know about is putting your make up on” 🤣🤣 and said how these allotment owners have been around for decades he can’t just barge in and kick people out. DH said he was half expecting Penfold to say “this is a local allotment for local people”.

Then it was BABS of all people who told Penfold to STFU. Not quite those words but she said “oh do calm down Nigel”. The other plot owners just kept their heads down apparently. DH took off in the end but he is considering buying a Danger Mouse t-shirt to wear when he gardens. I’ve told him I can help him apply his make up 😂.

Anyway Babs’s words don’t exactly fill me with confidence but it’s better than flat out refusing to leave I suppose. I’m absolutely confident that legally she hasn’t a leg to stand on, but that doesn’t mean some dodgy solicitor won’t claim otherwise for a bit of easy money off her. Either way unless there is a claim that has legs (highly unlikely) DH will be round on the 21st to set up his stuff. PP were right about insane allotment owners - but we are just gonna have to lump it and not let Penfold ruin our time there.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
godmum56 · 09/05/2024 20:45

YaMuvva · 09/05/2024 18:14

A nurse came to take my blood pressure and one plopped out onto the floor from under the covers and landed right by her feet so I’ve just got a bollocking and they’re back on Blush

sorry not sorry :)

Moonlightdust · 09/05/2024 20:51

REP22 · 09/05/2024 17:37

Steve Pemberton is the only right choice to play Penfold. And possibly also Babs.

Couldn't believe it when this thread popped up and it's all continuing on! I read the first couple of threads but didn't keep up. You write so well @YaMuvva - these are a definite shoe-in for MN Classics.

I hope your surgery went well and you make a good and swift recovery. x

I came here to suggest Steve Pemberton as Penfold! 🤣

RumNotRun · 09/05/2024 21:00

Moonlightdust · 09/05/2024 20:51

I came here to suggest Steve Pemberton as Penfold! 🤣

I agree with this suggestion. Steve Pemberton would be perfect.

OVienna · 09/05/2024 21:13

KnickerlessParsons · 09/05/2024 20:08

It's "his truth" though, so who are we to argue

Lol "his truth" - so totally.

So Babs is consulting "her solicitor". Wonder what number dispute this is if she's got them on speed dial.

Another2Cats · 09/05/2024 21:17

Iamnotalemming · 09/05/2024 18:50

Loving the updates.

You've inspired a bit of googling through which I have discovered that Danger Mouse was originally voiced by David Jason. Who knew??

Also, the character of Penfold was voiced by Terry Scott.

He appeared in a large number of Carry On films in the 1960s and 1970s but I remember him most alongside June Whitfield in Happy Ever After and then Terry and June which were BBC sitcoms in the 1970s and 1980s.

He also did a whole series of ads for Cadburys Curly Wurly back in the 1970s

Cadburys Curly Wurly Commercial Only 3p Museum Terry Scott 1970s

The Entire collection - Playlist - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3rkd2aTFA6E&list=UUvGajKIAEql08lmcbU6eucwThe Worst TV Ads Ever - Playlist -- https://www...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_H6C2PTs3w

OVienna · 09/05/2024 21:17

@YYaMuvva did Sally Seller come up at all?

WickedSerious · 09/05/2024 21:27

Get well soon @YaMuvva ,looking forward to the next instalment.

YaMuvva · 09/05/2024 21:30

OVienna · 09/05/2024 21:17

@YYaMuvva did Sally Seller come up at all?

Babs mentioned her in the context that she was effectively gifted a plot by Sally in her guilt tripping attempt. DH didn’t say anything in case it got back to Sally

OP posts:
BettyBardMacDonald · 09/05/2024 21:31

Jeannie88 · 09/05/2024 18:58

I know, I know, just can't help feeling sorry for her and the others who have cultivated the plots. When you've put so much effort into it, it's a bitter pill to swallow. I agree the defensive hostility isn't good of course, but can understand the upset. Xx

She could have been cultivating her own property all this time, or seeking a plot elsewhere. I feel no pity for her whatsoever.

If she had said something like "It's not the right time of year to lift and divide Plant X, would you mind terribly if I kept a few here until fall," or something like that, it would be understandable. But the belligerence and hostility and "you'll have to fight me for it," and not hustling her shed off ASAP, is despicable.

Trez1510 · 09/05/2024 21:31

dizzydizzydizzy · 09/05/2024 15:44

OMG you just could not make this up. Hilarious!

I disagree, on both counts.

It could be made up - think cheap chick lit with a Bridget Jones type lead.

It is not hilarious.

Arconialiving · 09/05/2024 21:32

eurochick · 09/05/2024 16:12

Penfold clearly wants to show Babs his prize courgette.

This made me spit out my wine Grin

EnglishBluebell · 09/05/2024 21:38

YaMuvva · 09/05/2024 16:27

Anyway I am in dire need of cheering up as this is a very hot very noisy ward (although the staff are amazing at looking after me) I’ve been advised to sleep but as much chance of me getting Kip on the middle of the M1 - so can we talk about who would play Penfold? I’m thinking Stephen Graham in jam jar glasses. He does ‘angry’ quite well and I think he’s quite short too

My god the nurses are SO LOUDDDDDDD in that hospital. I swear they have a 'Who can laugh the loudest and slam the bin lids the hardest' competition that begins at midnight

Pleasehelpmefindagoodusername · 09/05/2024 21:41

Follow this new thread with interest

EnglishBluebell · 09/05/2024 21:43

sockarefootwear · 09/05/2024 18:41

Thanks for the update OP!

I think in certain areas there are always a few people who think 'I'm local and this is what I say' trumps the actual law, and reality in general. In my area at the moment one woman (Gemma) and her extended family are complaining that another couple (Ben and Holly) have 'stolen her house' and are looking for support. The house is a on a new build estate and is one of a row of houses allocated as social housing. The housing association allocated this to Ben and Holly and they have moved in. Gemma would have liked to buy this house as there is a footpath right outside it that links the new estate to an older road, with the other end right outside Gemma's mum's house. Gemma thought if she lived there she could gate off both ends of the footpath and basically make it a private path between her house and her mum's house so her DC could wander safely between the 2. The house was never up for sale to the public and was never expected to be, and obviously the footpath was built for the public to walk between the 2 roads, not as an extension of Gemma's mum's garden. The usual local complainers are backing Gemma, since Gemma's mum's family have lived in the area for generations and people like Ben and Holly are keeping locals out (Gemma already lives in the area, and there are loads of other houses on the same estate that she could buy if she wanted to). One man is currently asking everyone he knows to boycott 'Gemma's path' and walk the long way round. I have no idea what this will achieve (other than Ben and Holly not having as many people walking past their house).

Bask to the OP, based on an entirely unscientific study of the people I have known called Nigel (sorry to any lovely Nigels, I just haven't met one), I suspect that Penfold has an underhand plan. Perhaps he is backing Babs as a first step in a plan of allotment domination. Once he (via Babs' solicitor and at her great expense) has established 'someone told me I could use it so now it's mine' as a new way to decide legal title he will make claims to have been granted use of all the allotments. He plans to use them as a cover for his criminal activities, which is why he is keen to make sure OP's husband knows that he is a tough guy with his vicious 'pretty boy' taunts. The best way to fend him off will be for OP's husband to take control of the allotment, grass it over, and mow it in full drag, channelling Freddie Mercury and singing 'I want to break free'.

Gemma's path

😲😲😲😲😲 This wins batshit CF of the decade. Wowwww! What batshittery reasoning has Gemma given? What is she saying to Ben & Holly then?

Oblomov24 · 09/05/2024 21:45

eurochick
Penfold clearly wants to show Babs his prize courgette.

This made me spit out my wine .

Is this in classics yet?

GruffaloBill · 09/05/2024 21:45

Delia123 · 09/05/2024 18:19

Does pretty boy still have any military uniform he could go allotmenting in? I imagine that sort of thing may impress Penfold.

Impress AND arouse I bet, considering how fixated he was on OP's husband's prettiness!

I am SOOOO invested in all this!

YaMuvva · 09/05/2024 21:46

EnglishBluebell · 09/05/2024 21:38

My god the nurses are SO LOUDDDDDDD in that hospital. I swear they have a 'Who can laugh the loudest and slam the bin lids the hardest' competition that begins at midnight

I’m not even attempting to sleep. It’s sooo noisy!

OP posts:
Oblomov24 · 09/05/2024 21:46

Steve Pemberton is the only right choice to play Penfold. And possibly also Babs.

Grin
Jeannie88 · 09/05/2024 22:00

BettyBardMacDonald · 09/05/2024 21:31

She could have been cultivating her own property all this time, or seeking a plot elsewhere. I feel no pity for her whatsoever.

If she had said something like "It's not the right time of year to lift and divide Plant X, would you mind terribly if I kept a few here until fall," or something like that, it would be understandable. But the belligerence and hostility and "you'll have to fight me for it," and not hustling her shed off ASAP, is despicable.

Hi, yes I get this now, fair enough. Xx

YaMuvva · 09/05/2024 22:00

@sockarefootwear the Gemma is bonkers and SO provincial.

In the last place I lived there were 2 very popular hair salons in the town centre. one run by a bloke and one by a woman.

the bloke’s salon (let’s call it Blade Runner) sadly put a post up saying the salon was closing due to the owner being admitted to an inpatient mental health facility and he was expected to be there a considerable time (possibly a year) so he was giving up the lease on the salon.

The lease became available and about a month later the woman who had the other salon (let’s call hers Snips R Us) acquired it - she announced on social media that she was opening up a second salon and was going to name it one of 2 things:

  1. Snips R Us 2, or
  2. An amalgamation of the name of hers and the bloke’s salon’s name eg Blades R Us
She did a poll asking people their thoughts.

Well people in the area went MENTAL! Said that she was so insensitive to even take the lease on when Bloke was in hospital and told her she can’t just steal his name, that it would be like calling it Argos or Sainsburys. People even threatened to call the police over ‘copyright law’. Someone created a group on Facebook about boycotting the second salon, hundreds of people joined. I thought I’d fallen through the looking glass as to me it was perfectly fine. It was total madness, it was a woman expanding her business empire, but apparently she should have centred the feelings of a random man who she didn’t know and was too ill to work anyway.

she did open it calling it Snips R Us 2 and it was always heaving whenever I went past

OP posts:
MrTiddlesTheCat · 09/05/2024 22:01

YaMuvva · 09/05/2024 21:46

I’m not even attempting to sleep. It’s sooo noisy!

When I was in hospital recently there was a German woman in the next room who shout 'hallooo!' at the top of her voice all night. I kept my sanity by holding onto the belief that she'd have to fall asleep eventually. Nope. All sodding night.

YaMuvva · 09/05/2024 22:08

MrTiddlesTheCat · 09/05/2024 22:01

When I was in hospital recently there was a German woman in the next room who shout 'hallooo!' at the top of her voice all night. I kept my sanity by holding onto the belief that she'd have to fall asleep eventually. Nope. All sodding night.

Oh god sorry but that made me laugh 🤣 which is not good for me as it makes my stitches wobble 😂

there’s a woman somewhere who is screaming very articulately in pain “OUCH! OWEE! OUCHY!”. Poor lass

OP posts:
Atethehalloweenchocs · 09/05/2024 22:11

MrTiddlesTheCat · 09/05/2024 22:01

When I was in hospital recently there was a German woman in the next room who shout 'hallooo!' at the top of her voice all night. I kept my sanity by holding onto the belief that she'd have to fall asleep eventually. Nope. All sodding night.

I was admitted overnight to hospital when on holiday in Ireland. They only had a bed on the geriatric ward and the woman opposite me sat up at 15 minutes intervals calling for one of her children. All. Night. Long. I gave up counting at 12 different names, but couldnt help thinking they must be very glad to have her away for a while if she was always so demanding.

andfinallyhereweare · 09/05/2024 22:14

Pretty boy cracked me up! Feel better op

Thereislightattheendofthetunnel · 09/05/2024 22:15

Here for the update on the saga

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