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CF allotment thief thread no 4 - Babs’s dodgy solicitor and TV producers looking to cast for the role of Penfold?

990 replies

YaMuvva · 09/05/2024 15:24

New thread! Last one was here
www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5049200-cf-allotment-thief-part-3-the-plot-thickens-and-auditions-begin-for-the-west-end-musical?page=38&reply=135136744

So a quick update.

DH dropped me off for my surgery this morning then dropped the kids at school before heading to the allotment. Babs was there gardening as were some other people on their own plots. All her crap was still there

DH went up and reminded her that she needs to be off the plot by the 20th. She said that she is awaiting advice from her solicitor to see if she can challenge us. She also said if the solicitor says she has to be off, she will be gone by the 20th but isn’t giving it up without checking if she has rights first. She did a fair bit of guilt tripping to DH about how she has spent 10 years being part of a community and having a hobby and she now has to give it all up but he held strong and told her, unless she comes back with a legitimate legal claim her property will be off the allotment by the 21st - wether it’s removed by her or by him.

However - enter Penfold stage right

Penfold is what we are calling the allotment neighbour who marched over from the other side of the plots (because that’s who he looks like). He started shouting at DH saying “You’re a bully! Fancy picking on an old lady and taking her allotment off her after all her years of hard work”. He pointed out it’s his allotment now and Penfold said that “just because your name is on a piece of paper it doesn’t give you the right to steal it off it’s rightful owner”. He then start saying “What do you know about gardening pretty boy? These allotments should be for real gardeners not pretty boys like you”

When DH told me this I laughed so hard I thought my stitches may burst 😂 DH IS very pretty but he’s also mid-40’s and hasn’t been called pretty in many many years. We are in semi-rural Yorkshire though and a man wearing a top that isn’t either blue black or white is considered a feminine.

When DH stated he does actually know about gardening, Penfold was all “Yeah right yeah right all you know about is putting your make up on” 🤣🤣 and said how these allotment owners have been around for decades he can’t just barge in and kick people out. DH said he was half expecting Penfold to say “this is a local allotment for local people”.

Then it was BABS of all people who told Penfold to STFU. Not quite those words but she said “oh do calm down Nigel”. The other plot owners just kept their heads down apparently. DH took off in the end but he is considering buying a Danger Mouse t-shirt to wear when he gardens. I’ve told him I can help him apply his make up 😂.

Anyway Babs’s words don’t exactly fill me with confidence but it’s better than flat out refusing to leave I suppose. I’m absolutely confident that legally she hasn’t a leg to stand on, but that doesn’t mean some dodgy solicitor won’t claim otherwise for a bit of easy money off her. Either way unless there is a claim that has legs (highly unlikely) DH will be round on the 21st to set up his stuff. PP were right about insane allotment owners - but we are just gonna have to lump it and not let Penfold ruin our time there.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
17
jackstini · 09/05/2024 17:49

Glad all went well and you have this new ridiculousness to amuse you during recovery!

Penfold 🤣🤓🥒🥬🍆🥦🫛🌶️🫑🌽🥕

MonsteraMama · 09/05/2024 17:53

God I didn't know people used prettyboy as an insult anymore. How glorious.

Upstanding community man Penfold can just split his plot with Babs when eviction day comes, can't he?

godmum56 · 09/05/2024 17:54

being a serious type, you really do need to keep the compression stockings on even though they are horrendous

SpideyVerse · 09/05/2024 17:56

Foggymcfogson · 09/05/2024 17:26

When you get your allotment back please get one of those gnomes that flashes it's bum!..

Ha Ha - Yes!😁

AcrossthePond55 · 09/05/2024 17:56

“just because your name is on a piece of paper it doesn’t give you the right to steal it off it’s rightful owner”.

Um, sorry Nige, but actually that 'name on a piece of paper' makes one the 'rightful owner'. Have a feeling that Nigel's one of those self-righteous dudes who just loves 'a cause', right or wrong. Babs may regret getting him involved, even if she did so unwittingly.

Maybe I can use that argument for the big house down the road from us. I can park myself in the (gorgeous) swimming pool (with waterfall & spouting jets) for a bit then tell them I'm the now rightful owner.

Hope you continue to improve @YaMuvva .

PS don't be taking the compression socks off!! They're there to help you avoid post-surgical DVT.

myfaceismyown · 09/05/2024 18:04

Sorry, @YaMuvva couldn't resist knocking this up...

CF allotment thief thread no 4 - Babs’s dodgy solicitor and TV producers looking to cast for the role of Penfold?
PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 09/05/2024 18:09

YaMuvva · 09/05/2024 17:19

I’ve taken them off and I’m hiding my legs, they are so uncomfortable (I will pop them back on soon I know they’re important.

2 months! Poor you! Mine are only for a week

I had to wear a stocking on my right leg (not just up the knee but the entire one) for about 3 weeks. Rather uncomfortable, didn’t stay in place etc. Wearing my exercise leggings (they’re quite sturdy with more “hold” than regular tights) was very helpful.

edit: my surgery took place in January, which meant that heat was less of an issue (luckily!!)

SirChenjins · 09/05/2024 18:12

This is why I love Mumsnet 😂

Pretty boy needs to set up camp on Penfold’s allotment and refuse to move - tell him he’s extending your allotment once Babs has been turfed out. Then he needs to cover the place inconcrete slabs, wind chimes, garden gnomes and those twirly metal things you see in garden centres and sit back and watch Penfold explode in a froth of rage - kaboom!

YaMuvva · 09/05/2024 18:14

godmum56 · 09/05/2024 17:54

being a serious type, you really do need to keep the compression stockings on even though they are horrendous

A nurse came to take my blood pressure and one plopped out onto the floor from under the covers and landed right by her feet so I’ve just got a bollocking and they’re back on Blush

OP posts:
therealcookiemonster · 09/05/2024 18:18

SirChenjins · 09/05/2024 18:12

This is why I love Mumsnet 😂

Pretty boy needs to set up camp on Penfold’s allotment and refuse to move - tell him he’s extending your allotment once Babs has been turfed out. Then he needs to cover the place inconcrete slabs, wind chimes, garden gnomes and those twirly metal things you see in garden centres and sit back and watch Penfold explode in a froth of rage - kaboom!

Great idea. After all just because penfold "has his name on a piece of paper" doesn't mean the land is his, right?

Delia123 · 09/05/2024 18:19

Does pretty boy still have any military uniform he could go allotmenting in? I imagine that sort of thing may impress Penfold.

WhoopDereItIzz · 09/05/2024 18:24

It's hard to imagine how Barbara is even vaguely angry at you. If I were her, and I somehow managed to find a level of extraordinarily righteous indignation despite being objectively fucking wrong, I'd be directing all ire at The Seller.

The Seller also needs a fucking scolding about this. Unreal what a muppet she's been.

hanahsaunt · 09/05/2024 18:24

Oh gosh - as an incomer to North Yorkshire and a village to boot I can confirm that we have a positive posse of Nigels here (including an actual Nigel). Are you on the village WhatsApp group yet? It will be buzzing!

Jeannie88 · 09/05/2024 18:30

As entertaining and legally justified this all is I do feel very sorry for Babs and the others. Yes they knew this day was coming but still hard. If only an amicable solution could be made to share. They have put in the effort, fertilised so the soil is perfect for seeding and growing. Is there really no way to do this? Xx

PineappleTime · 09/05/2024 18:35

Jeannie88 · 09/05/2024 18:30

As entertaining and legally justified this all is I do feel very sorry for Babs and the others. Yes they knew this day was coming but still hard. If only an amicable solution could be made to share. They have put in the effort, fertilised so the soil is perfect for seeding and growing. Is there really no way to do this? Xx

Why?? Babs knew sally was selling. She's behaving like a total dick. Why should the OP let her stay? It's not her land!

myfaceismyown · 09/05/2024 18:40

Jeannie88 · 09/05/2024 18:30

As entertaining and legally justified this all is I do feel very sorry for Babs and the others. Yes they knew this day was coming but still hard. If only an amicable solution could be made to share. They have put in the effort, fertilised so the soil is perfect for seeding and growing. Is there really no way to do this? Xx

If Babs had not been rude the first time she ever met the lovely OP ad her DH it might be different. This was in the OPs very first text in the first thread.

CharlotteStreetW1 · 09/05/2024 18:40

We used to call our neighbour's lovely little boy Penfold (not to his face) with his jam jar glasses. Got the odd strange look from mum and dad who were "pub" acquaintances. Turned out his surname was in fact Penfold 😳

Wishing you a speedy recovery OP 💐

sockarefootwear · 09/05/2024 18:41

Thanks for the update OP!

I think in certain areas there are always a few people who think 'I'm local and this is what I say' trumps the actual law, and reality in general. In my area at the moment one woman (Gemma) and her extended family are complaining that another couple (Ben and Holly) have 'stolen her house' and are looking for support. The house is a on a new build estate and is one of a row of houses allocated as social housing. The housing association allocated this to Ben and Holly and they have moved in. Gemma would have liked to buy this house as there is a footpath right outside it that links the new estate to an older road, with the other end right outside Gemma's mum's house. Gemma thought if she lived there she could gate off both ends of the footpath and basically make it a private path between her house and her mum's house so her DC could wander safely between the 2. The house was never up for sale to the public and was never expected to be, and obviously the footpath was built for the public to walk between the 2 roads, not as an extension of Gemma's mum's garden. The usual local complainers are backing Gemma, since Gemma's mum's family have lived in the area for generations and people like Ben and Holly are keeping locals out (Gemma already lives in the area, and there are loads of other houses on the same estate that she could buy if she wanted to). One man is currently asking everyone he knows to boycott 'Gemma's path' and walk the long way round. I have no idea what this will achieve (other than Ben and Holly not having as many people walking past their house).

Bask to the OP, based on an entirely unscientific study of the people I have known called Nigel (sorry to any lovely Nigels, I just haven't met one), I suspect that Penfold has an underhand plan. Perhaps he is backing Babs as a first step in a plan of allotment domination. Once he (via Babs' solicitor and at her great expense) has established 'someone told me I could use it so now it's mine' as a new way to decide legal title he will make claims to have been granted use of all the allotments. He plans to use them as a cover for his criminal activities, which is why he is keen to make sure OP's husband knows that he is a tough guy with his vicious 'pretty boy' taunts. The best way to fend him off will be for OP's husband to take control of the allotment, grass it over, and mow it in full drag, channelling Freddie Mercury and singing 'I want to break free'.

chattyness · 09/05/2024 18:42

Get your husband to remind Penfold and Babs that "the piece of paper with your name on it " is a legal document which proves that it IS your land actually thank you very much and that said legal document does not have Babs name on it anywhere or ever. Finish the sentence with "sweetie"

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 09/05/2024 18:43

Ah here OP, you seem to want it all in life...a hot husband AND an allotment!! Surely that's too much for one person.

Spare a thought for Babs....she only has her vegetables!

YaMuvva · 09/05/2024 18:44

WhoopDereItIzz · 09/05/2024 18:24

It's hard to imagine how Barbara is even vaguely angry at you. If I were her, and I somehow managed to find a level of extraordinarily righteous indignation despite being objectively fucking wrong, I'd be directing all ire at The Seller.

The Seller also needs a fucking scolding about this. Unreal what a muppet she's been.

TBF DH said Babs was calm and not irrational, like she was expecting the visit. She was just headstrong and putting the ‘poor me’ act on

OP posts:
myfaceismyown · 09/05/2024 18:45

@ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees then she should pay for the land she had grown them on and not be a blinking freeloader!!

InMySpareTime · 09/05/2024 18:46

You can't have Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith unless the allotment is plot no.9.

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 09/05/2024 18:47

myfaceismyown · 09/05/2024 18:45

@ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees then she should pay for the land she had grown them on and not be a blinking freeloader!!

Sarcasm isn't your first language I take it?

ForestForever · 09/05/2024 18:47

YaMuvva · 09/05/2024 16:08

He didn’t live on North Yorkshire did he??

He didn’t, no. 🤣

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