Is there anything you did with your babies that isn't OK now and you feel sad today's parents will miss out on?

[CurlewKate]

For me it's the family bed. We coslept all the time when they were little, then on and off until they were about 8 or 9. No sleep deprivation for anyone, easy to deal with nightmares or night waking. And such security and comfort for everyone. I know it wouldnmt work for every family, but I'm sad that it's obviously not OK to even try now..

That’s horrendous! I’m glad I’ve never come across that.

This is my experience of 80s and 90s babies, having them in their own rooms and poor exhausted mums (always the mums) leaving them to cry it out because they couldn’t hear/were too tired to keep getting up.

I had my DCs over 20 years ago and never co-slept - just never worked for us! Ds was in cot on side of bed for quite a long time as he was a bit ‘delicate’ - maybe 6 months?
We had analogue monitors, weaned at 4 (then 6) months as advice changed (DS wasn’t ready for food anyway), used only rear facing car seats until 9 months/20lbs.
I’m glad smart phones weren’t around until my two were at secondary. I used laptop with them to look at CBeebies when young but none of this phones:tablet at table at a young age. We had stickers/colouring etc.

My nephew was toilet trained on jelly tots!

I can't find any official advice in the UK or US on co sleeping that doesn't basically say "you really shouldn't, but if you must, this is the least worst way to do it".....am I looking in the wrong places?

It was chocolate buttons in our house!

I think that is pretty much the standard line, though some midwives/ HVs don't follow it. (My midwife showed me how to safely co-sleep as she said most people did end up doing it.) And my oldest is only three.

That said, I found pretty much everyone I interacted with did seem to be co-sleeping! I was the outlier in the end in not doing so (DD's weight meant we automatically "failed" the safe sleep seven and so I wasn't happy to do it.)

For me the hardest thing about having babies in the last five years has been the serious impact of social media and the deluge of information. I felt I didn't have any instincts and drove myself mad. I feel like I would have been less crazy if I hadn't had that.

I'm hoping the social media anxious motherhood era is peaking now because I'd hate for it to be even worse by the time my own DC have kids. If that's what they choose to do of course.

When did that not become OK? I've co slept for the past 10 years as do many others I know

@MumTeacherofMany "When did that not become OK? I've co slept for the past 10 years as do many others I know"

All official guidance counsels against it. And I have to say that this is the only Mumsnet thread I have ever seen that is so pro co sleeping!

It’s suggested as the solution for virtually everything on here, along with a sling.

True! 😂

With my older 2, it was my choice not to, and it was a very firm no! Partly because I couldn't trust their father not to roll over and squash them, and partly because I was concerned I'd never get my bed back! With my youngest however, it was just me, she was the first one I managed to breastfeed, and fluff me I was TIRED, like going out of my mind tired. I looked up how to safely cosleep and she was a dream after that. So much easier for us with night feeds, and with me getting some sleep I felt human enough to tackle the days. I am much closer with my youngest, that bond just hits different. But sure enough, I can't get rid of her from my bed 😂 she regularly jumps in with me if she wakes in the night. I don't sleep well with her in my bed anymore as we both move around a lot now, but I don't mind really, she's 5, she's not going to want or need me forever so I'll take it while I can!

Is it not? I know alot of people that still co sleep. I don't personally as I feel we all get better sleep in our own beds as my kids a right fidgets in my bed but they love their own beds and it's never been an issue getting them to stay in their own beds.

@Welovecrumpets "It’s suggested as the solution for virtually everything on here, along with a sling."

Sling, I agree. I don't think I have ever seen co sleeping recommended. I must have missed those threads!

There is literally a fbook page for co-sleeping with thousands of members I co sleep as does my 19 yo with her daughter

My kids age age 5 and 9 are asleep in the bed next to me as I am typjng this. I dont think there is a co sleeping police out there coming to get us.

Things that I wish were ok is to be able to let my kids out in the street to play with others. Theres no way I would do that for safety reaaons now but I wizh they could enjoy that without being run over, kidnapped or some other danger.

@curlewgrape

Cosleeping is the norm in SO many cultures

It's the norm in SO many cultures!

@LovelyIssues "It's the norm in SO many cultures!"

I know. I should have specified.

Gosh, so many things we did as kids which my dd didn't get to do, and which her kids will miss too. So so many! Most of them quite dangerous but we learnt how to deal with problems. Igrew upin a time before seatbelts, for instance, so you could just crowd people and children into a car and go off on a picnic with maybe 10 people in one car. 5 kids just sprawling in the boot, 5 adults or bigger kids squashed in the front passenger seat and back. In fact you could get more kids than that into a car with a decent sized boot. We had a Hillman Super Minx - you could get 6 sqashed into theback seat sitting alternately forward/back, two in the front passenger seat easily, and 7 kidsin the boot.

My grandmother had a tiny Fiat with half a soft top - we called it a bubble car but it wasn't actually, they've started maaking something like them again so you'll get the idea. My brothers and I (and sometime a couple of friends) used to stand in the back holding on and she would take us anywhere. Off onto the motorway and then up and down country roads and then we'd stop for a picnic in a field, or by the sea. Incredibly dangerous. Much fun.

I had mine before seat belts I am APPALLED at how I transported my eldest in a baby nest in the floor well of the front seat.

I agree with this so much. Same with neighbours, as a kid you would be round next doors’s garden playing with their kids! My neighbour even knocked part of the wall down so us kids could all meet up 😂

my childminder also had a massive garden with an apple tree and chickens and we just played outside for hours and hours.

I mean I guess im not young in my mid-late 30’s but I’ve co-slept with all 3 of mine.. in fact Dad still co-sleeps with almost 4 year old while I still co-sleep with almost 2 year old.. I breastfeed her still too…. Almost 6 year old sleeps amazingly well on his own now but he knows where to go if he has a nightmare etc and will just come and climb in.. wouldn’t have it any other way, sleep is vital!