Is there anything you did with your babies that isn't OK now and you feel sad today's parents will miss out on?

[CurlewKate]

For me it's the family bed. We coslept all the time when they were little, then on and off until they were about 8 or 9. No sleep deprivation for anyone, easy to deal with nightmares or night waking. And such security and comfort for everyone. I know it wouldnmt work for every family, but I'm sad that it's obviously not OK to even try now..

Yes absolutely I agree re the older kids. As I said im not a mum who enjoys co sleeping!! 😂

Just to clarify I’m talking about newborn co sleeping when I say it’s less sleep deprived than not co sleeping. A baby who can’t roll or move around yet, and one who is waking frequently (more frequently than every 2 hours here currently and seemingly just wants a nipple constantly!) co sleeping compared to trying to feed sitting up and putting baby back in a crib who is waking more frequently than every 2 hours.
i do anything to avoid sharing a bed with my children past 4ish months and I want them in their own room as soon as I can, and avoid bringing them in with me after that point too! 😂 I do not think you get more sleep in bed with a toddler than dealing with wake ups from a toddler in their room at all!

We used to play out all day within the boundary of our estate including the swings. When I went back recently, the swings have been turned into a carpark and cars all over the estate. No visible children out playing.

Sorry..not babies..I misread the first post.

I get sad when I see people suggesting that breastfeeding is bad or unnatural. I understand that some people can't breastfeed for whatever reason but it bugs me that there's an attitude, particularly in the US, that suggests that Formula is best for the baby and that breastfeeding is harmful. It was such a precious thing for me.

Also, just going to the park for a picnic and a swing seems to be going out of fashion. And kids going out by themselves. I don't remember mine ever going down the park with friends because people just don't let their kids out

I’ve never noticed that attitude! Americans breastfeed even more, in fact much more, than brits. It was more a 90s thing I thought where people breastfed for 6 months then assumed everyone should switch to formula! I’m glad it’s normal to go to a year now and do it in public.

I always did it ( not with my babies when they were young when they would sleep in a cot jammed right up against my side of the bed with the side down). Carried on until they were 8 or 9 when they join us in bed in the morning.
it was all very secure and cuddly.
My son and partner do the same with their little ones. When they book a family room for an overnighter in a hotel they still ‘all pile into the same bed’.
IMO it’s very cosy and loving.

Maybe it's just a FB thing. I'm glad if it is. The cost of Formula is horrific. You clearly don't get the posts of people who think breasts are sexual and not for food then 🤦‍♀️. There's a lot of advice that suggests EBF from birth will starve your baby and that you need formula top-ups sadly. I had an HV with this viewpoint. I breastfed for 18 months in the end with solids after six.

We're also co-sleeping with our 5 year old.

I had a coach built Silver Cross pram, lovely smooth ride, high handlebar, room underneath for the shopping. When dd2 came along, dd1 was promoted to the toddler seat on top. We all used to leave sleeping babies in prams outside the Co-op while we shopped. When we got home, baby (still sleeping) was parked in pram in garden, rain, snow, whatever the weather. They woke up to birdsong and the sounds of nature, and I had some time to myself to get housework done. Of course we'd be done for child neglect now, but it was the norm in the 1980's.

I couldn’t have a child in my bed. Novody would be happy

I dont feel sad and that im missing out . All in our own beds sleeping 8-10 hours

My DD is 17 now. When I first joined MN, there were plenty of Gina Ford supporters and then beginning to be plenty of more go with the flow, BLW mums. I was never really on one side or the other, I kind of hovered with whatever felt right. She had some purees and she had some 'human food' (that made me laugh) to chomp on too.

I did co sleep on the odd occasion but she was (is) such a wriggle bum that it did not improve my sleep in the slightest!

I still made the bottles up for the next day, even though guidance was very much against it, but then I would read forums of people advising making bottles with cooled water and I knew they clearly had no idea of what the issue actually is and how you need the hot water to kill the bugs. So I stuck to what I was doing, using the correct temp water, cooling quickly under the tap and storing in the coldest part of the fridge.

I did also occasionally leave her in her car seat in the car when we arrived home if she had fallen asleep. And I lived on a terraced road with no driveway in one of the less attractive areas of Liverpool. I used to look out on her out of the bay window while I had a brew but seriously, no way was I waking that baby - she hated napping!

I was actually a very anxious first time mum but reading this back, I sound almost negligent! I did take good care of her and she is a wonderful young adult now and I live spending time with her.

oh yes, bottles of milk made up the night before, mid 1990s
and stuck in a saucepan of boiling water to heat up.

The thing is that the NHS (and WHO) guidance actually does still say you can make up bottles, with hot water, up to 24 hours in advance and store them in the fridge. They count this as a second-best option after making up on demand with hot water.

I do think they went so hard on that "must make up fresh" advice that the storage and/or making with hot water has fallen out of favour and actually it doesn't much matter which of the two you do - either make up with hot water and store, or make up with cool water and feed immediately - the baby will be fine. It's only if made up with cool water and stored and the formula happens to be contaminated and the baby is under 4 weeks old that it's a problem.

Advice in the US is still that you can make up with tap water and store in the fridge - they sell big jugs to keep made up formula in, so you make the whole 30oz for the day or whatever and presumably, keep it in the fridge door if it's in a jug. When they had an outbreak of contaminated formula, they had to recall it all and it caused a nationwide shortage.

I can't remember where I read it now (maybe Shel Banks' book?) but until 2001 the UK advice actually said you could make up with a kettle and leave the bottles out on the counter at room temperature all day! Which is pretty mind boggling in comparison to how worried people get about following certain parts of the guidelines to the letter (and I do get this - I had a total hormonal newborn meltdown at the way - I felt - DH wantonly gambled with our newborn's life when we first swapped DS2 from the ready made bottles to the powdered stuff!)

It's totally ok to co-sleep once you do it safely. It's the only way I've gotten any sleep with my 3 year old. I can't comment further as I just have the one DC, but co-sleeping is totally fine in my book and I advise all new parents to do it if possible!

I saw recently that baby walkers aren’t a thing anymore

i used to LOVE seeing mine zip around in theirs and bash into things then do that adorable hysterical baby giggle when they did. I’ve got some brilliant videos

Humans have co-slept since the beginning of time.

Filmed all their concerts from nursery aged 2 to nativities at primary and musicals at secondary.
Also sports days.

Cosleeping and breastfeeding was amazing for me, I got more sleep from that than what I'd been getting before having kids 😂

I co sleep with my baby, and would say more than half of the people I know do/have done 🙂

I'm the same.
Every time my LO ends up in my bed I get injured somehow (LO is 12kg, I've no idea how they do it!)
I lose my patience and they usually end up back in their bed within an hour, and order is restored.

The opposite is true OP, how long ago did you have your babies? My parents and in laws put baby in their own room from tiny/birth? and let them cry it out. When I had my 19 year old cosleeping was strongly discouraged. When I had my 12 year old and 7 year old, I coslept and knew many that did. Now I work with families and it's rare to come across a parent that doesn't ever bedshare. Most say they do. There are now guidelines for safe bed sharing, as statistics show it is accidental bedsharing caused by exhaustion that is the risk for SIDS. Planned bedsharing reduces that. There certainly wasn't safe guidelines 19 years ago. It's much more normalised.

My daughter was born in 1988 and after a couple weeks went into her own cot in her room (canada and that was what was recommended then) I had a monitor but got little sleep constantly checking on her. Wish I had just have kicked my ex husband out of bed and brought my baby in with me. My daughter now is the mother to 2 kids. She is 35, turning 36 in June. She co slept for years! they had their cots but spent more time in her bed than the cots. Until they were about 11 or so when they stopped sneaking into her bed in the night (her lovely husband was often booted to the couch , or one of the kids bedrooms. I was up in Canada 3 weeks or so ago. I had their guest suite in the basement for a week. One morning I heard my daughter yelling for her husband as she could not find her son.. he was missing from his bed . He had got in trouble the night before for sulking over not being allowed to go to his friends after dark. I rolled over ready to jump out of bed and go see if everything was ok, and there he was.. sleeping in bed beside me, his gramma. He is 12. I say let them co sleep as long as they want if it makes them happy. I am going back up to canada in July and both him and his sister (13) have asked if they can have a sleepover in my bed! Can hardly wait. Sad I missed this with my daughter when she was little

My experience is very much the other way around. I coslept with both my dc, often both at same time and my 11 year old still sometimes sleeps in my bed now, all my friend have done the same with their dc. Very common to co sleep now. I don't think I ever slept in my parents bed - in fact parents bedrooms were very much out of bounds which was the norm among the families I knew. This message also seemed the norm more widely as I remember funhouse with pat sharp, and when it got to parents bedroom it was always presented as a big deal going in 😆

everyone Co-sleeps (especially on MN). But was does alarm me is grown adults being booted out of their beds to accommodate it for years.