Does anyone know how to get in touch with John Major?

[Kendodd]

That's it. Searched the Internet, no luck.

I thought that was John Prescott.

Major was a genius

I remember back in the mists of the 90's, he referred to a bunch of recalcitrant MPs as 'Dismal Jimmies'. It struck me as such a ridiculously 'John Major' insult, that I have adopted it as my own e.g.

OP: How do I contact John Major?
Assorted Vipers: Why?
OP: Reasons...
Me: Come on, don't be such a Dismal Jimmy! Tell us why you want to know...

Etc etc

Major privatised the railways.

I won't say any more bad things about him in case he's the OP's long-lost dad.

'Maybe give David Cameron a call. He might be able to give you his number'

I once had a dream that I was having an affair with David Cameron. He was touring my old secondary school with his wife (Ffionn Hague for some reason). We kept crossing paths and exchanging smouldering looks. It was most disturbing.

🤣🤣

Actually lol'd

First, contact any surviving members of Spiral Tribe and ask if they can organise a several days long outdoor rave on your local common to mark the 30th anniversary of the 1994 Criminal Justice Act. Second, leave a plate of peas on toast outside your front door, attached to a traffic cone and a note for John that you'd like to invite him to a festival of 'sounds wholly or predominantly characterised by the emission of a succession of repetitive beats', and that Ken, Douglas and Malcolm have already said they can make it. Third, play 'Their Law' by The Prodigy and Pop Will Eat Itself at full volume. Finally, turn down the music and listen, very carefully, for the sound outside your front door, in John's distinctive tones, of 'OH YES!'.

I'm old enough to get most of the references but don't get the thing about the peas. Can someone enlighten me please.

Spitting Image did a long running gag of both Norma and John's spectacularly dull evening dinners at home which largely consisted of John commenting about how nice the peas were.

Thank you. I remember Spitting Image with his shirt tucked in his pants but I'd forgotten the peas.

I go to a local cafe where he and Norma frequently have brunch. I’ve seen him there a few times. Lovely man. He was a great constituency MP too.

I am John Major.

I am John Major

I am John Major

I am not John Major.

Fibber.

Tried to email Number 10 as last known address.
They have a contact form. Filled it all in couldn't sent though, kept getting this message -
The request is blocked.

20240504T095138Z-er1bd8974cflbxxnukxa45t59w00000000rg000000003n7r

That’s cos he’s secretly superman and clark Kent is just a ruse

Emailed the Tory Party instead.
We'll see what they say.

You might have more luck with the local Tory association. Major still maintains a residence here.

For information about HCCA please email [email protected] or call 01480 453062.

That's brilliant, thank you!
I'll call them, see what they say.

Let me know what happens.

@Kendodd
I'll call them, see what they say

See what they say about what though OP?

You’ve had a lot of people responding to you on this thread, but you’ve been all secret squirrel about what it’s for.

Just write c/o the House of Commons. They will forward.