Did you re-allocate childrens' bedrooms when eldest went to uni?

[CrikeyDozes]

my eldest is do to go to uni in Sept. they currently have the best bedroom: biggest, on floor of its own, small en suite. their siblings all want that room although each sibling has their own room of a decent size. i dint want the eldest to feel thus is not their home and they became less important and were considered to have moved out for good when they went to uni so I was planning on keeping their room for them. Their siblings, in particular the next oldest, are outraged.

do people usually re allocate bedrooms at this point? does it not leave the eldest feeling pushed out?

In your situation - yes the second eldest should get the bigger room for their last three years at home full time

Move the next one up for sure. Oldest will still have a dedicated bedroom, they haven't been hard done by at all.

Silly to leave the best room empty for most of the year when the next oldest is still in school and could use the space.

Traditional uni courses are usually about 30 weeks of term time, some reading weeks only. I don't know what your DC will be studying but it's possible their siblings do not understand how different uni is from school. Students have to move out of their rented accommodation at the end of every academic year, depending what living arrangement they make. They do accumulate stuff so need somewhere to keep things when between rentals, let alone somewhere to feel secure, welcome etc. As the others have decent bedrooms already I woukdn't give in to this demand too soon while your uni DC finds their feet. It may be worth explaining how academic terms work st uni to the younger ones, potentially 22 weeks vacation time, unless it's more of a vocational course, professional training, e. g. medicine, nursing.
These weeks are vacation weeks, not holidays, students vacate the university, study, earn money etc.
Some students suffer extreme homesickness, separation anxiety, some take to their new life like ducks to water... very difficult to predict.
So caution would be my advice.
I work at a university

But wouldn't the younger one just say 'so the room will be empty the majority of the time and I have to stay in the smaller room'?

But wouldn't the younger one just say 'so the room will be empty the majority of the time and I have to stay in the smaller room'?

Yeah. And none of that explains why the eldest can't switch rooms, it all just amounts to reasons why they need a room which no one has disagreed with

Well yes, 22 vs 30 weeks and often a reading week within the 3 semesters or terms too. Not sure where you get 'not the norm' for students to return home in their university vacations, or even for the odd werkend or two, specially BH w/e's
Most students need somewhere to live in between rental contracts, ideally for free in their childhood home, space to study, opportunities to earn money, meet up with friends from school etc.
Obviously OP will do what feels right for her family, I just advise caution for the reasons given above, and I note some pp's echoed feelings of discombobulation and isolation on here when they suddenly lost that haven during a time of other major life changes for them

Well yes, 22 vs 30 weeks and often a reading week within the 3 semesters or terms. Not sure where you get 'not the norm' for students to return home in their university vacations, or even for the odd werkend or two, specially BH w/e's
Most students need somewhere to live inbetween rental contracts, idealky fir free in their childhood home, spsce to study, opportunities to earn money, meet up with friebds from school etc.
Obviously OP will do what feels right for her family, I just advise caution for the reasons given above, and echoed feelings of discombobulation and isolation by some on here when they suddenly lost that haven during a time of other major life changes for them

I can't get on board with your reasons at all. Nobody has suggested that the student has no room to return to at all. Just that the child who still lives at the home 52 weeks of the year should get the bigger room.

That child also should have space to study, opportunities to earn money, meet up with friends from school etc.

Most students I know do a range of things in the holidays - travel, visiting friends, working elsewhere, things like trips with university societies, not just go to their parents.

If I was a younger sibling and you tried your suggested explanation on me, I would just not get why my sibling should still have the nicest room for the sake of a few weeks a year.

Most students I know do a range of things in the holidays - travel, visiting friends, working elsewhere, things like trips with university societies, not just go to their parents

Me too, my dd has done all sorts in the holidays. She definitely doesn't spend all her holidays in her bedroom catching up with school friends. She's 21 not seven.

What about the feelings of being second best/not prioritised that those not lucky enough to be the eldest child will be experiencing?

My son sleeps in his sister’s bedroom while she is away and then uses his bedroom as his gaming/pairing room. Seems to work out fine. He’s not bothered about having all his stuff in the bedroom he sleeps in.

As the sister in this situation I’d rather rather swap rooms completely and still have my own private space (albeit smaller) than have my brother using my room to sleep in while I was away.

Your oldest isn't being pushed out, he's choosing to leave. How long are you prepared to keep his bedroom as he may not come home after Uni? If your second eldest is still at home then it's only fare they move into the 'best' room & swap with eldest. It means DS still has a bedroom at yours if he comes home from Uni.